how can i convince my future wife that by taking my last name,it will not hurt her career?

Question

please help because we are getting married soon/

Answer 1

If your soon-to-be wife's name is Jessica Alba, and your name is John Simpson, then after marriage your wife's new name would be JESSICA SIMPSON - that's a name of an existing actress.

If your name is Joe Bastardi (http://www.guzer.com/pictures/bastardi_name.php) then you might want your wife's beautiful name to stay "as is".

Answer 2

The question I would be asking next is: What EXACTLY is her career that makes her last name an all-important thing? The only thing that comes to mind is if she is a movie-star or celebrity, and if that is the case, you have to admit, a name means ALOT as a Star & if she's already made a "name" for herself, you're going to be hard pressed to get her to change it.
Otherwise, if this is just some simply issue of her just not wanting to, I would try to be progressive & supportive & let her roll with it, if that is what she wants! "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet!" What does she think about hyphenating (sp?) it? Otheriwse, I would say love her for who she is: a strong, independant woman who loves you enough to marry you, but wants to assert that independence regardless of her marital status & keep her family name.

Answer 3

Honey, this isn't something you convince someone to do. This is part of the tradition of marriage. And either she is traditonal or she's not. You can't force someone to be someone they are not. However, if the ceremony you are about to have is of the traditional nature, then you may want to consider talking to her using that approach. Tell her how it makes you feel to keep her own name. I hate to do this, but you may also want to ask yourself what you are getting into. I am of a very traditional upbringing. Taking on my husband's last name was part of the committment honey....my committment to him, we joined as one. If your fiance is so adament about not changing her name for the sake of her career, you may want to question where you fit into the equation. Are you always going to be willing to take a back seat to her career? Because this is just the start sweetie. My advice would be to speak up before it's too late. And while you are talking to this woman, be compassionate, understanding and firm with your feelings. Don't let her make you feel bad for wanting this. This is important to you...and if that's the case, being that the two of you are about to join in marriage, it should be important to her too. Remind her that a name does make the person....a person makes the name.

Answer 4

It's not going to hurt her career. Women get married all the time. Names change. It sounds like she is just making excuses, and doesn't want to take your name. Can you live with her not having your last name? Can you accept that? Jane Doe and Bob Smith?

Answer 5

Sorry, guy, it's a personal choice and more women are doing just that. It doesn't make them any less married. I don't know if the career reason isn't really just an excuse. I think women like to be more independant these days and keeping their last name is a statement.

Answer 6

Taking your name is great but what if all her clients or whatever only know her by her maiden name. If you agree to have the same names its normal for you to want your childrens names under you name but this has to be made clear before you get married. What do you want and what does she want talk to her and understand that it may be just a name not something that degrades you. Talk about it communication is the key to any relationship, take care Heather

Answer 7

But it may hurt her career... kinda like how everyone thought the world would end in Y2K because the century was going to change and if they did then no one would be able to hire the number and their pay checks may get lost and.... wait actually thats not really like it at all now that I think about it.....but some banks did have problems dating stuff.... maybe shes worried about that? why don't you take her name?

Answer 8

Why can't she use her maiden name while at work, but use her maiden/your name for the other part of her life. All legal documents would be signed with the combo name, or your last name, if she agrees to take it alone. Obviously, she would need to have a legal name. Why is it so important to you that she use your name? She had a career before you, and personally, I agree with her.

Answer 9

don't know why she thinks ur last name would hurt her career or what her career is but....
ask her if she'll hyphenate the names.
there could be more then 1 reason why she doesn't want to change her name. She could use both, hers professionally and yours personally. ASK her, get into the conversation really, ask open-ended questions

Answer 10

You forgot to mention what her profession is, because it might hurt her career if shes an actor, model, or polotician. Name recognition can mean alot in certain fields. Sorry im not much help, but she may have a legitimate point.