He claims that I am insecure but I feel that I need respect and since it costs so much money, he needs to focus on US instead of eye-flirting with the other women; this has been an ongoing problem for the last 5 years. P.S. I think of myself as "eye-candy" and have no problem attracting others although I prefer not to!
2007-03-26 16:16:12 · 9 answers · asked by Laney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
show some cleavage!
2007-03-26 16:20:21 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - you're not insecure. I've come to learn, though, that men have a compulsion to check out other women. It's actually pretty harmless, but if it makes you uncomfortable and he's doing it rather blatantly, without any regard for your feelings, then he's hurting you.
While I don't think you'll ever be able to get him to stop, you could ask him not to be so obvious about it. The best revenge though would be to start doing it yourself. You're 'eye-candy' as you mentioned, so even though that's not on your agenda to do - do it anyway! Let him see it from the other side. Perhaps he'll realize that it is hurtful and disrespectful and keep his eyes in his head a little more!
2007-03-26 16:52:23 · answer #2 · answered by Plexed 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Shame on him..
Men can be expected to look at other women and Porn..
However..
He should be very discrete about looking at other women..
He should be very respectful of you and never cause you
discomfort because of this...
Tell him in no uncertain terms that you are offended and if
he does not take steps to "fix" the problem, that you will take
your own steps and he won't like it...
If he doesn't straighten up, start dressing very provocatively
and openly flirting when you go out with him...embarrass him.
Tell him the next step will be even worse...
You will start looking for a man who will be more respectful.
2007-03-26 16:28:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he asks you to go out with him tell him that you'd rather not until he stopped doing that, that it is not insecurity, its absolutely a legitimate concern, and is very disrespectful. After 5 years I would tell him to open up as to why he's doing it and get help if necessary, or try a legal separation to see what you both really want at this point in your life.
An unhappy marriage is no good for anyone.
Good Luck
2007-03-26 16:25:17 · answer #4 · answered by AdieAnna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a male and sometimes I just can't help but look at other women it's in our nature. We don't mean to offend you but it's hard.
Heck you probably are hott also and he just doesn't know it. I know it's bad but you should try to spark up your marriage. Try doing your hair different go out and get you nails done really well. You know what turns him on just do that for him and add that spark back to your marriage.
If that don't work go out with him and try to get other men to stare at you and maybe he'll realize what he has before it's gone.
2007-03-26 16:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by speedi4got 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can so relate with you. I just came back from Cuba with my boyfriend of three years and all he did on the beach was stare at young women. I am 50 and he is 52. I have had 3 children, but still wear a size 2-3 and am in pretty good shape. I take care of myself and we do have a great sex life, but it seriuosly drove me crazy to the point I did mention it to him one night and he got upset and said exactly what your husband said to you,that I was being insecure. I may have my insecurites, but I am not insecure. I don t want to look 20 or 25 again, I just work on looking great at 50. Just know this,his staring has nothing to do with YOU, and all about HIM. He needs to feel that a younger woman, or attractive women still find him hot. Although my boyfriend knows I do find him super hot and he looks great for 52, I guess it s just not enough for him. Bottom line is you have to make him understand that it s disrespectful to you, especially when there are other people around noticing his behaviour. If he truly loves you and respects you he will at least try to control himself. Look, but do not stare! Good-luck! :)
2016-06-30 04:48:00 · answer #6 · answered by Rita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shame on you. You let him keep on looking for the past 5 yrs, then wonder why he's always looking. Blame yourself for what he does. Men will only do what you let them, and you let him do it, It's like trying to correct a child after they get older. You have to correct them immediately. Gool luck with this one!!
2007-03-26 16:32:36 · answer #7 · answered by David J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stare at younger men and when they walk past go gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr what a great butt that will get hubbys attention
2007-03-27 01:29:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel about it, and if it doesn't stop then do the same thing to them. it's like the old saying, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
2007-03-26 16:19:09 · answer #9 · answered by mrs garfield 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋