My new husband still speaks with his ex-wife (approx. every other month she will call) about silly things like "the digital camera stopped working, what to do?" or "who was our mechanic?" and things like this. He is an amazing guy and I have no (let me repeat, NO) doubt that he only wants to help her like he would help anyone else who requested it.
I have never been married, so I do not pretend to understand the connection or sense of responsibility one might feel toward an ex spouse, still, I can't help but feel that his connections to her should sever entirely. They did not have any children, so there is nothing/no one tying them to each other. In an effort to not sound like a child, it's my turn now.
Is it fair of me to ask, that, in the case of this one person, I wish he would not be so helpful, or should I embrace this wonderful quality in him?
If you have experienced something similar to this, please share your insights.
2007-03-26 16:06:23 · 15 answers · asked by Heather H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would like to think he has a big heart, and just helps her out. Although it would definatley bother me. My guy talks to his ex all the time but they have a son together. So I try to blow it off but somehow still feel insecure about the situation.
2007-03-26 16:15:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been divorced from my ex for 26 years. Every now and then she calls just to see what I am up to. At times I have been in a relationship, at other times I have not. Bottom line: We have remained good friends over the years. We found out about 6 years after we were married that we were not meant for each other. Nothing wrong with that.
In answer to your question, I think he is lucky to have a woman like you.
Some men need to be needed, others like to be needed. The more people that need them, the happier they are.
She will eventually disappear from his life, and you will be all he will need in his life. In the mean time, be grateful she doesn't call more often.
2007-03-26 16:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by J j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't like it. Especially if there are no children involved. IF there are children, you have to live with it whether you like it or not, but this is not the case. My ex's wife put him through hell, lying to and about him and cheating on him.
Sometimes I think he is being way to nice to her. How can he get over those things? They have a child together though and I have to put up with this. I think your husbands ex is just trying to hang on. I wouldn't dream of calling my married ex husband for little things like that. I think you deserve more from your husband.
2007-03-26 16:40:20 · answer #3 · answered by Karen H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With contact every other month I don't see this as a big problem...one person really doesn't have the right to ask another to stop a relationship if it is not a case of adultery emotional or physical...you could tell him that it bothers you a little and ask him to help you understand what you are feeling..
2007-03-26 16:30:37 · answer #4 · answered by burgandywine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a great new spouse. I am sensing his relationship with ex did not end badly. Occasionally two people divorce and remain friendly. His ex may have boundary problems. Frankly if she was sensitive she would back off. But some people are blind to what is going on around them. You may want to express, in a gentle manner, to your spouse you are uncomfortable with her contacts. Let him decide how to take it from there. If he is kind and considerate he will handle it.
http://www.predator-awareness.com
2007-03-26 18:02:40 · answer #5 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, I applaud you for placing up with him and her for this long. They the two seem to have lots of needy themes with one yet another. there is no longer something incorrect with him holding a friendship together with her, yet they flow a splash above the norm. that's obvious that he would not admire your thoughts approximately their relationship and he might desire to. you're meant the priority, precise? It sounds like if she says leap, he will ask how severe. It sounds such as you have achieved each little thing you may to make him see how disillusioned you get with the help of her constantly getting in touch; and at this element, you have each precise to be disillusioned. It has no longer something to with trusting him or loving him, it has to do with admire for you. besides the fact that it form of sounds like he's made his determination, to proceed his friendship together with her in spite of you're thoughts. you may the two stay with it, or provide him the Ultimatum; or purely hit upon a clean ideal pal of your very own! i've got faith for you, I certainly have had to handle the EX in the previous additionally. good success!
2016-10-20 12:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should embrace this wonderful quality that allows him to be on speaking terms with his ex.
I think most people, whether they were right or wrong, feel sad at having failed in a relationship. Or maybe it's just your husband's good nature. Or maybe he feels he won in the divorce and therefore feels some obligation to help her.
Don't make something out of nothing, or you could find yourself in her situation....
Good Luck
2007-03-26 16:14:44 · answer #7 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This kinda sounds like the whole " I can't have him so it makes me want him" kinda thing...... I used to call my ex to ask stupid questions because it got us talking again and i wanted to get back together. but hmm then again, she really could just want advice or maybe shes lonely. but i would talk to him and explain your feelings about this. i would get jelous because i wouldnt like the idea of an ex- wife calling
2007-03-26 17:20:59 · answer #8 · answered by ♫Country Girl♪ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a weird way, this is a good thing, this speaks to your husband's ability to forgive and get past things that may be difficult. As long as it is as infrequent there is no reason to be jealous. It also says good things about his ability to commit, so I think it is something you can feel good about, rather than feel bad about.
2007-03-26 16:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by mliz55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think you are absolutely right in wanting him to sever all ties with her. If the two of them have moved on I don't think there is any reason to keep in touch. I personally don't beleive men and women can be friends, with exception of other sexualities...There are a lot of people who wouldnt agree with me, oh that gives me a question!
2007-03-26 16:12:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋