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Basically this was a very small lie.
My freind Barbra called me during my friend's Tammy birthday party. Well Barbra HATES Tammy for something than happen nearly 2 years ago (Yes, Barbra can hold a grudge) and due to a recent event in Barbra's life, she has given up drinking.
Barbra has told me that she isn't going to hate me for being friends with Tammy but I get the feeling it bothers her, even though she says it doesn't.
And Barbra has said she doesn't care that I still drink, she doesn't expect her friends to stop because she wouldn't either.

So she calls me during Tammys birthday party and I would rather not answer and say I'm having a blast at Tammy's so I don't answer. She calls again right after, and again I chose not to answer.

The next day she ask why I didn't answer and I said I left my phone at home. Well I NEVER leave me phone at home so she asked somoene at the party and they told her I had it.

What can I say to her to help her forgive me?

2007-03-26 15:32:15 · 13 answers · asked by simply_college 3 in Family & Relationships Friends

I did not have enough room to type everything so I tried to make it sound as close to the situation but this is cool with the additonal details.

First off! Wow! Thanks for all the comments! I wasn't expecting any and I have like 20! Thanks again.

Second, I tried to make it sounds like I had already confronted her about Why I did answer my phone. I did tell her the truth. I was honest. But put yourself in her shoes.
She has caught me in a lie and she doesn't know what to believe from me anymore. I don't think she is as mad as she was at the beginning of the conversation when she called after she found out I had the phone. Anyhow, she has agreed to let me take her out to lunch and we are going to discuss it more tomorrow, I just don't really know what to say to someone to regain their trust when they've caught you in a lie.

Third, Barbra isn't just the girl next door, she has been an incrredible friend to me for years...It's just the grudge thing (i know)

Thanks again!

2007-03-26 17:16:39 · update #1

13 answers

Tell her the truth. Just explain that you didn't want her feelings to be hurt. It's really not that big of deal so if she's you're real friend she'll let it go. But be honest, lying is what got you in this mess.

2007-03-26 15:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by CHICK 3 · 0 0

First off, your friend Barbra should have realized that you had your cell phone since you answered her call during Tammy's party.

Second, Barbra's grudge against Tammy has nothing to do with you.

Third, the only reason she kept calling you was because she wanted to ruin your fun by making you feel guilty about being at her "enemy's" party.

Fourth, the only thing you can do is apologize.

You are not Barbra's friend exclusively. You were at the party to have fun. You didn't answer your phone again because you didn't want Barbra bringing you down.

Now when she confronted you about not answering your phone the right thing to do would have been to tell her the truth. The only reason she asked someone else if you had your phone was because she already knew you did. It's her way of laying a silent guilt trip on you.

Just let your friend know that there are times when you want to hang out with Tammy. If she has a problem with that then maybe the two of you don't need to be friends anymore OR maybe your friend Barbra needs to get over it already.

Good luck

2007-03-26 22:54:58 · answer #2 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0 0

Explain to her that you thought that she wouldn't like it if you were having fun at Tammy's (what kind of fun, huh, huh, huh? I'm only joking) so you decided not to answer to avoid telling the truth then. Say you messed up because the truth always comes out so you should have known better.

2007-03-26 22:39:33 · answer #3 · answered by Icebox -0: Never Again 5 · 0 0

I know that it will be hard but explain to her that when you are around Tammy and or you are out having fun you feel a little uncomfortable letting her know about it....But You must show her that it hurts you that you hurt her by lying and that you just panicked and didn't know what to say.....But you must talk to her... that is the only way..... :)

2007-03-26 22:38:19 · answer #4 · answered by Marilyn Denise Y 2 · 0 0

just tell her the truth and that you weren't comfortable with the situation and if she holds a grudge then tell her to f off besides Tammi sounds like more fun i hate people that hold grudges!

2007-03-26 22:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Why is this woman so possessive and in your business. You shouldn't have to explain yourself to her. Let alone be put in a position to have to lie. Just be honest. If she has a fit about your friendship maybe she isn't someone you want to be friends with.

2007-03-26 22:41:24 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea G 2 · 0 0

I would come up front and say tammy i didnt want to hurt your feelings i knew if you knew i was at tammy's party you might get angry even if you said you werent so please forgive me i just didnt want to hurt your feelings.

2007-03-26 22:37:34 · answer #7 · answered by iLoVe HoRsEs 3 · 0 0

You are so cute!!!!,, you have the best intentions have fun at tammy's and don't ruin barbara's night? can you be blaimed for been nice????
if you can be punished you will be in jain at this moment. lol
good luck

2007-03-26 22:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by ups2005 2 · 0 0

I would just be honest and tell her that you didn't want to hurt her feelings so you lied. Just apologize and it should be okay. It isn't like she has never told a lie!

2007-03-26 22:39:06 · answer #9 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0 0

tell her that your sorry and you honestly didnt want to bring her down about drinking and havinga good time. you thought it might make her not want to quit.

2007-03-26 22:38:12 · answer #10 · answered by Me 2 · 0 0

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