Does my wife still love me?

Question

Yes I know she is busy all the time. Long hours at the hospital and all, (Dr. Type). But still, I do a ton around the house with cleaning, laundry, clothes, cooking, yard work, babysitting, dropping and picking up the kids, etc etc etc, plus work a 45hr/week real job. You would think she would make some time for me and our relationship. I've given her everything she has wanted, but it seems like she never listens to me now. I don't feel like a husband anymore, more like a roommate? I want to keep loving her, but I need to feel loved back. Hell, even a "Thank You" and a hug would be nice! Or am I just being to self centered and clingy? The situation is really, really, really starting to effect my moods. No I don't smoke or drink, just cuss to much now. Ladies, what is your perspective? Or should I just turn it over to God and let him deal with it? Thanks for your inputs, even the bad ones.

The Mrs does a lot with and for the kids! She is a good mom who's first priority is the kids. She is a 2nd yr resident physician, so the long hours are to be expected. Man she is a great Doc though! It's the little things that annoy me the most. Not putting things back where they belong, not putting clean clothes away, leaving dirty clothes laying around. I know it's the military in me folks! I am proud of her and use to compliment her all the time, but not within the last couple of months. She doesn't usually return the compliments, so I guess I stopped for my own reasons? Maybe I'm just tired of the residency program and all it entails? A vacation is a great idea, oh wait a minute, who has time for a vacation? She's a resident! I guess it could be a lot worse? I just don't want to lose her, but won't be stepped on either.

Answer 1

these are the results of the demands your wifes occupation creates for her...by you doing all that you do balance things out for her, but I can understand they are not so balanced for you, this is where God comes in, yes turn it over to him, listen to what may help you out, perhaps its in the form of reward ing yourself but not to the point that you are indulging outside your marital boundaries...you need to treat yourself as well as your treating your wife..and perhaps she will realize she is the one that should be rewarding you...good luck.

Answer 2

"Or should I just turn it over to God and let him deal with it?"

yes and a yes. it's tough to divide your priorities especially when there are so many of them. In God's heirarchy of priorities, a husband's Should be:

1.God
2.Wife
3.Family (kids)
4.work
5.etc......

As for your wife, it should be the same. What I've learned about marriage is that GOD MUST be the Center and focus of BOTH of your lives. It takes two to make this work. You have to be able to communicate with her and viceversa. Wow. It's amazing how you can do all the chores and still work. Don't be discouraged.

Tell her how you feel and give her 3 chances to do something about it. If she still won't give up her long hours at work to spend time with you. You need to demand it. She has a responsibility as your wife to please you and be obedient to you. You are doing more than what your Role as a husband/man require. PUT THE FOOT DOWN! God gave you the authority as the Head of the House. Be honest with her but kind words stir away anger. God Bless.

Answer 3

wow, it sound like youre wife is treating you like a slave to do all the things for her. well dont you evern feelike she had been useing you by doing all the house cleaning and taking care of the kids for her everyday. i bet youre sometimes feel tired and stressed out after the kids went to bed. i think that both of you and youre wife should sit down and start talkin about how youre guys relationship had been so far ? and you should always ask youre wife even she is always wanted do this forever like does she want to keep up with all this craps with you doing all the works and not having her helping you out with the kids in other wise in future youre marriage wouldnt able last forever. so i would let you talk to her if she does or doesnt still live you or even still in love beingin with you as her husand . she must be trusted honestly ? plus i think it should be other way like have her stay home with the kids for once and have yourself go to work or you and her can find some one else to watch the kids til youre both comes back home from works . by doing house chorses you can hire a nana to clean around youre house least gave a chance .

Answer 4

Gah, I'm so sorry. Try sitting down with her sometime and let her know how you feel. Communication is key to any relationship. You're both busy, but you are right that members of a couple need to make time for each other. Try scheduling activities where you two can spend some alone time together.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Are you my twin? Listen man, all that stuff you do is part of life. I did the same thing and then I felt unappreciated. I let it eat me up inside, feeling like I was just the maid and cook and gardener. And by the time I told her, it was too late. Well guess what? I had to file my response to her divorce summons today. But, I was the one who NEVER told her how i felt until it was too late. Now my marraige is destroyed, and I am one lonely man. You BETTER sit her down and talk to her now, or you may not get the chance and you will be a lonely man like me, sitting in a hotel room, wishing you could start over.............

Answer 6

First of all cursing is just as bad as being a bad husband. How can she feel close to you if your mouth is chanting bad words. Try to stop because it is a turn off for most women. What did you mean you have a real job, is hers not a real Job? Do you compliment her on all the things she does? If not why not? Answer this questions be truthful to yourself and start by talking to each other and complimenting each other. I am sure she would love it if you took the time to tell her how beautiful she is and how lucky you are to have her, if you do this she will respond with the same you watch and see. Try it okay? Good luck

Answer 7

of course she still loves u!!!!! U two just need to find time together. If ur wife is a doctor at the hospital i know that it will be pretty hard to find time with her and everything but just chill out! Remeber she loves u and ur kids! Shes working for ur family bringing home some bacon- i know u do to but dont worry about it! if she didnt love you any more she would of divorced u by now!!!! Just think about how much she cares about u and ur family to keep things together.
Hope that helps!

Answer 8

You need to pray first. Then get all your thoughts together and have a long talk with the wife. What is going on is not healthy. A couple CANNOT sustain a relationship for any length of time with your work conditions. Boils down to priorities, both of you are going to have to get them in order.

Answer 9

As a wife, who has a husband like you, I must say I think it is more about taking you for granted and all that you do. It is easy to take your spouse for granted when you have someone who does it all. Because she knows it will get done. My husband will take the time to remind me once in awhile that we are married and there are two of us. Then he will back off from doing all of the things he does to get me motivated to participate in our life. Communication. It sounds like you guys need to come up with a schedule that you both can share and be happy about.

Answer 10

No, you are not being self centered. Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated.

Have you told her how you feel? I mean EXACTLY how you feel? Start there. See what she says. Maybe this has become the "norm" to her and she doesn't see a problem with it.

Also, cut out the cussing...especially if you have kids!

Answer 11

ok, i'm a guy but I went thur this with 2 wifes, the first one was my high school sweetheart and we moved to Florida and such, she enrolled in night school after awhile when we were down there, and i was working 50-60 hours and went to the house we rented and got the mail and seen she was kicked out of school, cuz she was'nt going to school at night I took care of my daugthe2-4 years old, and when i seen that letter tore me up, but she use to come home at 12-1-2am in the morning and said she was studying with her friend, well called her and said well come home at 11 after school, after i new she was'nt going, i made a nice candlelight dinner, put my daughers to bed early, and she did'nt come home till 3am! i was crashed on the couch with the dinner on the table and she said she was sorry, and told her about the letter from the school and she was honest about cheating on me! So she told me the truth she was cheating on me.....and such, well that was it, don't beleive in that.....and we seperated and got divorced, and i had full custody of my girls, well after that, got re-married 2 years later, and she got pregant by one of my friends well we were still married.......and of course got divorce, but bottom line, look her in the eye and tell her to b honest, cuz if u don't have that, it will never work......hate to say that, but life goes on, and how bad it feels, u have to have honesty cuz nothing will work, counseling and stuff, will never will, cuz been thur it, and just giving u advice! hope i can help!