Marriage help please??

Question

My husband and I have been married a little over a year. We are expecting our first child. His job requires him to work odd hours and he usually only has one off day a month, which he usually spends fixing things around the house. I am so lonely. I no longer work due to pregnancy and I am by myself all the time. I miss my husband so much. He works 12 hour days so by the time he comes home and eats dinner and showers it is time for him to go to bed so he can get up early. We are doing GOOD if we have sex one time a month. We are both young and healthy as well so there aren't health issues affecting anything. I love him very much but I feel SO alone. Any advice will be much appreciated. Thank you.

He doesn't want me to work. Money isn't an issue. He makes PLENTY of money for the family to be quiet comfortable on. His job just requires ALOT of hours. It's just the way it is.

Answer 1

sounds to me that you have a real man.....hard working man who takes care of his family.....he's doing all the work for his family, yes he's tired a lot after all he's putting in all these hours so you don't have to work... honey i know you feel alone,call him sometimes on his breaks, and on his off days that is probally the only time he can do some work around the house.......but sometimes the house will have to wait, and you need to make some plans for you two to spend together on some of those off days....keep the fire in your marriage and never let the flame burn out....a lot of women want what you have......you are very blessed to have him....everything he does he do it for you (smile) so do something about the lonliness, make plans for u and your mate, maybe a date, or movie or something

Answer 2

You're overdue for a long talk with your husband. Is there a different job he could get, where he wouldn't be working such long hours? In the meantime, you should try and find some ways to get out of the house more. You need some human interaction! See if there are places where you could volunteer. If you're limited in mobility due to the pregnancy, you could see if there's even an old folks home or something, where the residents would just appreciate someone to talk to. Don't forget, you'll be craving time with other adults after the baby is born, too!! Good luck, and hang in there!

Answer 3

wow...looks like the two of you are getting caught in life. That happens. It sounds like you really love your husband. That's great. Does he have to work these hours? Is there an alternative?If not then learn to make more of the time you have. Break him off a few times when he does get off of work. He may be tired, but he will feel good knowing you tried. Also does he get lunch breaks? Maybe the two you can have lunch together or a nice quickie. On the days he does get off plan things. don't just stay at the house. You said he takes showers so why not hop in with him. Talk to him too. I hope this helps!

Answer 4

And how did you think this was going to be different? Enjoy this quiet time and get ready for the baby. Once it is here you will be praying for 4 hours of rest.

Would you rather your husband get a new job and most probably less money? Then tell him that. (By the way most men are useless around a new baby, so don't expect any help from him)

There are no other mommy's to be in your area? You need to pal up with another mom in your same situation.

Answer 5

Pregnancy does not prevent employment. I don't understand this. I have a husband who works long hours and it does get better, when the kids are around 5 or so after spending plenty of time flat broke because he tried another job that didn't pay the bills so he could be home. You have to get a job and relieve some of the pressure or let him be. You also need to find a hobby or activities with other adults. It took me until my youngest was 5 to accept this. It's a long road - a tough one - either change your lifestyle, or accept it. It's your choice.

Answer 6

I would tell u that first congrats on ur marriage and on ur baby. I myself am just married for less than a year. I would have to say as far as being feeling lonely I understand my husband works 3rd shift and sleeps during the day and isn't around much when I need him to be so I go out and involve myself with his family and my family and do things in the city just to get away from home and to stop feeling lonely. I hope this helps if not u can always message me on yahoo.

Answer 7

You need to talk with him about how you feel. I too am experiencing this with my current boyfriend. He is just getting a business started and it requires almost all of his time. He says it is so he can make good money and build a future for us in the end, but anymore I feel so lonely and miss the time we used to spend together. There is a fine balance between work and family. You want to have enough money to enjoy life, but you also want to have time for each other. Like I said, talk with him about it. This is especially hard on you because you are pregnant. If possible, he should cut back on work a little and be there for you during this stressful time. And once the baby comes, you'll want his support even more. Good luck to you and congrats on the baby!

Answer 8

Talk to him, all work and no play wears you out. At least once every two months you tell him to take a weekend off for the both of you and spend time together. While he is still young it is a good time for him to make as much as he can before the baby comes so you two will be comfortable.

Answer 9

I think you and your husband should have a serious talk about this. I believe that your husband needs to find a different job that allows him to have more days off. One day off a month is terrible! You will even want him home more after the baby is born. Even if it means less money, he should get a different job. If he continues to work so much, your marriage is going to suffer terribly. Plus, he will get burnt out at his job. A baby will put even more stress on the marriage.

In the mean time, spend time with friends. You need to keep busy so that you don't think about how much you miss him all the time.

Answer 10

I totally understand how you feel. Been there, done that (12 hr days, not being pregnant). Well if you want to suggest to your husband that you're interested in his intimate company, put on some lingerie for when he gets home or a long slip depending on the month of your pregancy. I remember my wife looking so sexy when she was pregnant. I think your husband is so concentrated on work and supporting you that he is forgetting about you and maybe you need to remind him that you need more than just financial support. You really need being close to him as well. When he comes home, fix a fav. meal for him and give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you WANT him. I hope he responds. I know I would. G/L and Congrats on your upcoming edition to your family.

Answer 11

sounds like u both feeling the pressure of a new marriage, new baby, and a house that needs some work. u 2 need to find a why to relax together.

or u can try doing something totally unexpected surprise him with a hand delivered lunch ( not mcdonalds) . Something he loves but rarely gets. it will let him know u appreciate him. or just let him know u miss him but understand he is busy but you need some alone time before the baby gets here at least. cause then although u will have a cutie they tend to bring a whole new bag of issues to the table.