MY HUSBAND WILL BE POSSIBLY GOING AWAY OVER A YEAR, AND I AM PREGNANT FIXING TO HAVE OUR BABY IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS. I AM WORRIED WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN? WE HAVEN'T BEEN TOGETHER BUT FOR ABOUT 10 MONTHS. I LOVE HIM WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND TRULY BELIEVE HE IS WORTH WAITING FOR. I BELIEVE WITH EVERY INCH OF MY HEART HE IS MY SOUL-MATE. HE HAS ALREADY BEEN GONE FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS, AND ODDLY ENOUGH IT HAS MADE US HAVE A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP. I FEEL STRONGER FOR HIM THEN BEFORE HE LEFT. I AM WORRIED THOUGH WITH THAT MUCH SEPERATION TIME BETWEEN US, HIS FEELINGS MIGHT CHANGE. WHAT SHOULD I DO? I AM ALSO WORRIED ABOUT OUR KIDS, THE OTHER 2 ARE MY STEP-KIDS AND DON'T LIVE WITH ME, WITHOUT HIM AROUND I SOMETIMES FEEL A GAP IN COMMUNICATION, AND DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BEST RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS FAMILY. I AM LOST?
2007-03-26 14:26:52 · 14 answers · asked by Sleepless In Texas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THE BABY WAS CONCIEVED AUGUST THE 18TH AND IS DUE MAY THE 11TH... I SAID I GETTING READY TO HAVE BABY. WE GOT TOGETHER IN JUNE.
2007-03-26 14:59:06 · update #1
I MOVED IN WITH MY PARENTS. ONE CHILD WAS ABANDONED BY HIS MOTHER AND CURRENTLY LIVES WITH HIS GRANDPARENTS. THE OTHER CHILD IS FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE. HE HAS REVOKED HIS PROBATION THATS WHY HE IS RETURNING TO JAIL. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SAY EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG AS DID HE. I AM CURRENTLY IN REAL-ESTATE SCHOOL TRYING TO BETTWER MYSELF FOR MY CHILD AND I, FOR ALL WHO SAID I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HIM
2007-03-26 15:05:18 · update #2
Sometimes being away from each other will bring us closer, if this is real love believe a year will not change that for him or you. If you honestly think he is worth it then keep hope and stay in touch with him. Your right we all make stupid mistakes from time to time, just not young people but us older ones also. Talk with his Mother and let her see how much you love her son and she will come around to you, just give her time. She has lost a son for right now, so she is worried also. Until he returns take good care of yourself and the baby. Stressing out over this will not help no one, yes, easier said then done, but I have never changed anything in my life by worrying about it.
2007-03-26 16:32:59 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry a guy who gets into trouble with the law?You say you are "soul mates" does this mean you break the law too?If you were his first priority he would NOT be going to jail.You are not his first priority neither is his kid, doing what got him into trouble is his first priority.Start thinking with your head NOT your heart.If his feelings change you cannot do anything baout that.If theyre going to change they will change whether he is in jail or not.You need to work on getting on your OWN 2 FEET.Once your baby is born start taking some classes so you can get a good paying job if he doesnt starighten up oncehe gets out, then at least you can support yourself.I hope and pray he does change,but if he doesnt, then next time pick a guy who works,pays his bills, stays out of trouble and will worship the ground you walk on and support you and your kids.Another question, why did he get into trouble with 2 other kids from a previous relationship to take care?He doesnt seem responsible and those 2 other kids were NOT his first priority, what got him into trouble was his first priority.Think about it.It takes more than love tomake a relationship work and youre going to find that out soon enough.
2007-03-26 14:46:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have only 2 choices. The first is the one that is probably the best for you and your child given the fact that you don't have good support from his side of the family and that is to divorce him. Make a clean break.
The alternative is to remain married. Live your life to the best of you ability until he comes out.
Being a prison wife is a tough life. Be careful not to get sucked into bringing in or sending things that are considered contriband. Go see him on visiting days and write and call.
I don't think it is worth it. The difficulty isn't only the fact that he is an inmate but when he returns (if he returns) barring incident reports increases in security levels and good behavior ; He will have the stigma of being an inmate.
It will follow him for the rest of his life. It will make it difficult for him to get employment and to provide for his child and his wife. There are a host of problems.
Inmates have their own society. It changes them. They experience and do things they may never have considered on the "outside". There is drugs, alcohol,gambling and yes sex. Sex w/inmates , sex w/staffers, sex with women. The saddest thing to witness is a child visiting at a prison.
2007-03-26 14:37:29 · answer #3 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Um, if you haven't been with your husband for 10 months, and you're getting ready to have a baby in a couple of weeks....I've got a news flash for you....
It's not your husband's baby. So his being in jail might actually be a good thing. Either that, or hope he's as bad at math as you are.
2007-03-26 14:52:19 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's good that you are commited to your marraige, but why unsure of his love for you? just stay healthy and well, take care of yourself and then the baby, please go to a good church, make new friends there, visit him and be happy but--[i don't know about these things] if he ever tries to get you to contact any former prison inmates or do anything like that, tell him no, do not let anyone use you or implacate you in anything because he will meet some bad guys there .
let him know once he leaves there he breaks off all contact with those guys. As for you; stay around happy, well -adjusted people, don't worry about his family, who cares what they think, no you are not lost, of course not.
2007-03-26 14:40:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jail is a funny thing. It's so political who goes there. It can become an environment for a "fictive family", otherwise known as a cult. This could become a problem. Cults take you away from your family. However, they might disguise this by just changing your family beyond recognition and calling it "moving on".
In society, there is one force that keeps people thinking that bad things might turn out to be a good thing. It's called mythology. It operates as a state of tension between hierarchy (rule by priests) and anarchy. The priests are the ones who believe in magic, like counting, measuring, tapping on furniture and determining health by means of body fluids. They also have issues with impotence and constipation due to the fact that the blood in their bodies can tend to be concentrated towards purifying actions. The anarchists have more imagination about sex but possibly not so much recollection of whether it happened. They are fuelled by anger which they will never admit to. They can flirt. Their eyelids tend to flutter while they're self-hypnotising.
Outside of this genre is Jesus. He is the light of the world and there is no prison he can't see into or prisoner that he doesn't love.
2007-03-26 14:34:15 · answer #6 · answered by courage 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
first of all im sorry that you have to go through this im sure its really tough on you and being pregnant but stay strong. and BELIEVE ME his feelings WILL NOT CHANGE.. he is in jail.. hes not thinking about any other women of about leaving you when he gets out, thats the last thing on his mind. the only thing he is thinking about are you and the baby and his other children and getting home to everyone and being with his family again. i knoe i million things must be going through you mind right now but be strong and knoe that he loves you and cant wait to be home. i hope the baby is healthy and things work out good for you and your family, stay strong.
2007-03-26 15:28:56 · answer #7 · answered by Manrae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well while he is gone, you have 1 very importtan thing to do and that is taking care of your soon to born child. how will you take care of your child and yourself? that is what you need to think about.if no income/support then it is either get help from your parents or medicaid-housing,food,medical care for your child. another big thing is what did he do that will put him in jail for over a year. is the time to serve be longer than an year or closer to 2 yrs plus. another thing that you will need to realize is that while he is in jail if he does not join up with an gang he can be betten on,cut up,or be made as an another man woman(gay).
2007-03-26 14:47:15 · answer #8 · answered by larry r 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you got lost the day you got pregnant by him.
you really picked a winner.
now you and your baby will pay the price for your well thought out life with this guy.....
you have been together for 10 months and he has "been gone now for 6 months". if i did the math right you have been with him for a total of 4 months and he is your soul mate.
you mentioned "our kids". those are HIS kids.
you truly have your head in the clouds and are headed for nothing but disaster.
i feel so sorry for your baby because you have no concern for him at all.
good luck, you are going to need all of it that you can get.
2007-03-26 14:44:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust me when I tell you that his feelings won't change for you while he's locked up. In fact, it might just be the opposite...your feelings might change. When in jail, the significant other is the most important person in the world. You will become the glue that holds him together. You, on the other hand, might become tired of being in love and being alone.
If you stay strong, you'll be fine when he is released.
2007-03-26 14:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋