my husband had an emotional affair, phone sex and cyber with a girl at work he said nothing physical happened. how can i trust him again? and will it ever be the same??
2007-03-26 14:00:22 · 14 answers · asked by musicchic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No it will never be the same simply because there will always be a lack of trust. You can probably forgive him but the least little thing that reminds you of what happened will bring back many of those memories.
2007-03-26 14:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. Well, I think the fact that it wasn't just over the internet with some stranger, but with someone who he actually worked with, makes it a bit more serious.
Do you know why it happened? Were you aware he wasn't completely romantically/sexually satisfied in your relationship? If he didn't bother to let you know, and just went to this other woman, then you've got some major problems. If he's been trying to make things work out between the two of you, and you've ignored his attempts, and he's gone to someone else to get what you won't give him, then I don't think he's to blame, and I think things can potentially be fixed.
Try to find out what led to the affair, and go from there. Some men are just never happy with what they have, others just reach their limit with being deprived and controlled by an asexual wife.
2007-03-26 18:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by Canadian Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an all-too-familiar situation. Will it ever be the same? Probably not. However, that doesn't mean that things will never get better. As long as he is willing to admit to having done wrong by you & is wanting to do some serious damage-control...and as long as your heart is still in it, then you can work things out. Depending on how deeply this has hurt you (and I imagine you felt your world crumble), then you may want to take it one step further & seek out a good marriage counsellor.
The main points to consider are:
-He is truly sorry for having betrayed you
-You both discuss what brought this on
-You both work together to regain some of that lost trust
-Communicate communicate communicat
Best of luck to you...
2007-03-26 14:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by MammaBravo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beware of what you wish for...you may have thought all was fine when he was acting a fool over the phone but now your asking if you could ever go back to the way it was, lets hope not..I understand what your saying but understand what your asking...things need to be different than before, it wasn't all your husband hoped it would be, sure he doesn't need that kind of filth in his marriage but evidently he needs something from you to keep his interest...so don't be like you were or it can become the way it was.
2007-03-26 14:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. It won't. Because you will never be able to let it go. As simple as that. If you want it all to 'be the same' again, you will have to forgive AND forget. And there lies a big, deep hole that we all fall into and never can get out off. Good luck!
Actually, if you really want it to work, you should try therapy. Like a Dr. Phil or something. It works for some. Wouldn't work for me though. That's for sure!
2007-03-26 14:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by green_baby_dragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, once a thief always a thief. I am not sure if you agree but I think you got to be careful and observant the next time round.
2007-03-26 14:04:23 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way for it to go back to the way it was is if it never happened
so invent a time machine or be stuck with the way it is now, and it will never change to anything good
2007-03-26 14:45:37 · answer #7 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can know that. Its different for everyone.
For me personally. It could never be the same.
But I could definately trust again, fully.
2007-03-26 14:05:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe it depends on you though. if he says nothing physical happened you're just going to have to trust him.
2007-03-27 09:03:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im just popping in to say Im sorry this happened to you. Ouch. I have no idea about how to answer your question. Im just sorry for you. Poor thing.
2007-03-26 14:09:35 · answer #10 · answered by Peg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋