she started getting mad at me for little things. Her favorite way to handle it is to totally ignore me. We are around each other quite a bit so her ignoring me is very hurtful and upsetting. I never even know why she is mad. She has told me that she doesn't trust people- there are a lot of people she doesn't like for ridiculous reasons. When she ignores me, eventually I will confront her and we will work it out but I feel that the constant drama has damaged the friendship because I am always worried about making her mad or hurting her feelings. I also feel that deep down she is not over it.Any suggestions on how I can improve this friendship? I really care about her and we have a lot in common (job, kids, etc.) so I don't want to just give up. I have never had this experience with any of my friends and I don't know how to handle it! My husband and other friends tell me to distance myself but it is so hard to do that because I miss her the way she used to be.What should I do?
2007-03-26 13:17:34 · 5 answers · asked by Jenn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Wow, your friend could of been me. I do the same thing she does. You made me see a totally different perspective about myself and how I could of hurt a long time friend of mine by ignoring her, that I also worked with. But here is my take on her side, or how I feel about what caused me to quit talking to my friend at work.
1. She use to tell some people personal stuff that I would tell her, at work. Because it wasn't a big deal to her, what I had told her, but it was a big deal to me.
2. If I had problems at work, and she seen them and knew about them, and had always sided with me, because she would see the problem, until one last time, I told her about a problem, I couldn't get past, and she agreed with me, but then all of a sudden she and another person who always took their breaks with me another suppose to be friend, decided not to say a word to me, and never came out to the usual spot for break that day. So, I then just payed them back the same courtesy they showed me, and ignored them, which they did to begin with, the only problem is that I can hold it for ever, and I eventually did. Because it hurt me so much, them ignoring me and then my trust issues, and my problem that seemed so big to me, and every time they had a problem I would speak up for them, it hurt me that they just wanted to shy away from the problem and point the finger at me like the rest of the people were doing. Too long of a story. But this is the outcome of how both side mis-understanding, trust issues come to part friendships in my mind.
The best thing I can say is if she is like me, she will hold it in for a long time, she does like you and miss you just as much, but is so tired of being hurt by people, and trying to figure out if she can or cannot trust you completely, and I am understating the word completely. Once she figures it out, you'll know. But to me the best thing that a real friend could do to get me out of that prediciment I am in is to say hey, let's go somewhere today after work together, it might not work the first few times, but the third time it might, she has to build the trust up again, real slow. Hope this helped.
2007-03-26 13:51:31 · answer #1 · answered by K_Seeks4Answers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she's bipolar.
that would explain the light-switch friendship she has going on. good mood. bad mood. but what i would try to do, is to talk to her. not about all of the little things, but this one big problem. next time she "shuns" you...tell her that you're tired of going through this whole routine every day. tell her that you would never hurt her feelings on purpose, but this drama queen act has got to stop, or you're not going to put up with it anymore.
be firm. don't be all wimpery and second guess yourself..then she'll think that YOU'RE just in a bad mood, and this will blow over. so say what you feel. don't let her get away with it again. or it wont stop. goodluck.
2007-03-26 20:31:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes people have things they have to deal with on their own...sounds like you tried to help her and it didn't work...tell her how you feel let her know you've never had to deal with this kind of thing before and you really like to help her if you can but a friendship shouldn't be stressful and you think it's best if maybe y'all didn't talk for a while.
2007-03-26 20:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would move on or tell ur friend to act a little more mature or u will bail on her.
2007-03-26 20:29:34 · answer #4 · answered by david w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick her a ss
2007-03-26 20:23:33 · answer #5 · answered by flipskater_3125 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋