Can you please help me understand what it is I'm going thru?

Question

I've been going with this guy for more than 2 years. I love him alot. However, we are currently in a long distance relationship. He is in school in Florida while I'm at school here in the Bahamas. He use to live down here but had recently moved last year August. Sometimes I feel like we're drifting apart and I don't really think about him as much. Before he went away I was very upset. I literally cried myself to sleep some nights. But like at the beginning of last year before he went I worked on some coursework with another guy and I became attracted to him. And in October I think when I went back to school I saw him and well my boyfriend was away to school. I felt attracted to him again and I told him that I liked him and he told me he liked me too. Since then we've been good friends and we talk alot. I get to talk to him more than my boyfriend and see him everyday in school. I don't want to like him but I cant help it. I don't want to break up with my boyfriend.

Well see its more complicated than that the person that I'm liking is my boyfriend's friends from when he use to live down here. Even if I do break up with my boyfriend, it wouldn't be smart cuz I wouldn't go with his friend. That's just wrong and neither of my friends would agree with that either. And when I talk to my boyfriend about the whole long distance relationship, sounds like he is ok with it. The other night I asked him how is our relationship now compared to b4 and he was like of course it was better when he was down here. He sounds like he wants to make it work and I want it to work too. I just hope he is being faithful and not afraid to tell me how he truly feels.

Answer 1

A long distance relationship is very hard to keep up. Of course, you missed him but now you realize that there are other options and guys out there that interest you. I think that a lot of relationships just sort of fade away for many reasons -one being it is hard to talk/share what's going on in our lives when you can't talk every day. When you start to loose that type of intimacy other things crop up. No one wants to stop loving someone and the thought of breaking up with someone we thought we loved is almost an impossible one. But....I think you know you must. You might find you love several others before you are ready to choose - there is nothing wrong with that. So, in the meanwhile recognize the signs and don't string him along. Good luck

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Well you're probably rather young. You're going to be attracted to a lot of young men. And vice versa. Just have fun. You didn't say whether or not your boyfriend was dating other girls. But he's young also, so you never know. Why not have a talk with your boyfriend. You can assure him that you still love him but due to the distance, that perhaps it would be in the best interests of the both of you if you had an understanding that you could date others. If your love is as strong as it appears to be then your long-distance relationship will survive. The same with your boyfriend.

Answer 4

Honestly I dont believe that long distance realtionships work. You really need to think what is more important to you, either you stay in a long distance relationship or take your chances with the other guy... You cannot have both. Cheating on someone is the worst thing you can do to a person. Think about the future of your relationship, and if you believe things are not working out very well, just let it go. Life is all about decisions....

Answer 5

You need to break up with your boyfriend. Long distance is incredibly hard to do.
If you are attracted to this guy, you are ready to move on.
Just call your boyfriend and kindly tell him you don't think the long distance thing is working. He's probably having the same thoughts. This will be easier on both of you.

Edited with additional details: If you both want your relationship to work, then you have your answer. You can stop considering this other guy and work on the relationship you already have.

Answer 6

I think you really probably should break up with the long distance boyfriend. This attraction to your classmate sound normal and productive. I think I'd choose to make the break up and pursue the current friend. Be sure it just isn't a habit of convenience. Consider your true feelings for the long distance BF. If you realy care for him, you need to step away from the one turning your head right now. Either/Or

Answer 7

People are going to be attracted to one another, it's only natural. Even if you got married you would still find yourself attracted to other people occasionally. If you really want to stay with your boyfriend just forget about the new guy, even if you have to stoop hanging out with him. If you really feel like this is something you want to explore, cut your old boyfriend loose before you do something you'll regret. If you break up first there's a better chance of getting back together than if you cheat.

Answer 8

This is an old story, it happens all the time. the fact that you are attracted to this other boy shows that you are not committed to the bf. you need to break up with the boyfriend, and get on with your life. Do you think the boyfriend is over there in florida just sitting around pining for you? no, he's out there dating and having fun too! Chances are if you don't break up with him, he will with you pretty soon. That chapter of both your lives is over now. It will be a happy memory for both of you in later years as you sit there with your spouses watching TV

Answer 9

It's natural for you to be attracted to other guys, especially since your boyfriend is not with you right now.
How much longer do you and your boyfriend have to be apart?
If it's going to be a very long time, you really should think about whether or not you want to "waste" that much time waiting for him to come back. If you really love him and you are willing to suffer, that's fine. But if you're really unhappy and you are genuinely attracted to this new guy, why not take a break (or break it off) with your boyfriend to see what else is out there, or to have some time to yourself to think about what YOU really want?

Answer 10

Sounds to me that you're feelings for your boyfriend have died down since he moved away. Long distance relationships usually wind up not working out and it sounds like that yours isn't. you should search your heart and find out what you want. If your attracted to another guy then it sounds like that your feelings for your current boyfreind are dieing out since you don't see him as often and that's normal in a long distance relationship. Of course you'll still love him but if you feel that your feelings for him are gone since your attracted to another guy then break things off with your boyfriend and don't cheat on him. You need to search your heart and find out for sure. That's my advice for you. Good luck. let me know if I can be of anymore help.