How should I act around my Japanese schoolmates when I am in Japan as a foreign exchange student?

Question

I am going to be living with a host family in Japan I don't know where yet but probably outside of Tokyo. I will be submerged in culture and I will be the only American foreign exchange student in the whole entire school. I just don't want to have big farewells and I don't want to have to attend plays or anything out of the ordinary, hopefully you will see where I am going with this.

I really want to make friends and things I just don't want to bring attention to myself to much.

Answer 1

Just be yourself and you will be ok. Be kind, polite, respectful especially of the elders.

Answer 2

I would talk to the people that run the exchange program. They always have really good tips for the students that are going to other countries. We had several exchange students and they would always comment that they were told about this or that by the coordinator. You should be able to participate in the events that you want to and be able to decline in the ones that you feel are of no interest to you. I know that the people of Japan expect their children to be respectful and that is something that a lot of American kids need to work on. Any time that you enter a new culture you need to adjust to them and do NOT expect them to adjust to you. I am always bothered by people that come to the US to live and then expect to keep their culture. The US is called the melting pot because you are expected to get rid of your old culture and adapt to your new world. This is the same principle that you need to use when you are in their culture. Remember that you are there to experience a different way of life and if you do not participate you will miss all of the experiences that they have to offer. Go in with the mind set that you will have some huge adjustments and then if you don't it will be a pleasant surprise.

Answer 3

Hi! I'm actually an exchange student from America, living in Japan for this year. I came in the middle of August. At first, all of the students will be really friendly, and say hello in the halls (in English, it's so cute) and try to talk to you as much as they can. I didn't know any Japanese when I came here, so things might be different for you if you do, or if you actually are ethnically Japanese, because then they'd assume you were Japanese!
You'll probably be suprised at how unlike the stereotype the students are. They're quiet with adult strangers, but in the classroom, it's an entirely different story! So don't try to be quiet or go unnoticed, because it wont work, and you'll definitely feel lonely! You'll make lots of friends, really fast. Try and take the initiative and talk to people on your own, and then they'll be more than happy to talk back!
As for not wanting to do anything out of the ordinary, Japan isn't the place to live like that. I'm sure that you'll be dragged to onsens (public baths) and made to eat things that will be totally disgusting at first, but you'll love later on. Don't be so taken aback by how different everything is, because your time in Japan in measured by what you accept, not what you reject. Feel free to email me if you have any questions, I think you can just click on my picture, or lack thereof. lol.

Answer 4

I agree with Ny. You will get a lot of attention especially if you are the only exchange student in the school. I have spoken to several exchange students in my time, and the ones that make friends the fastest are the ones that try to submerge themselves in the Japanese culture. Just being here doesn't mean you are submerged in Japanese culture, it just means that you are in Japan. By submerge, I mean try to participate in cultural clubs. in High School, there are clubs that practice cultural arts like Flower arrangement, Tea ceremony, Kimono dress, etc. Then you also have your martial arts clubs, you know, Karate, Judo, Kendo, Kyudo (J. archery), etc. There will also probably be an ESL club where student like to talk English. Exchange students that had a successful experience usually joined at least 2 of these clubs. I guarantee that if you join clubs, you will have a ton of friends and never a boring weekend.

Answer 5

First, query the International Schools there and try sending some emails to other students who may have experienced your anxiety before they arrived in Japan.

Second, execute your own research into their culture. I live in Korea and the cultures between the two are slightly similar but are very similar when it comes to families. Family, respect for elders, maintaining your cool in public and remembering that your daily experiences in Japan will be DIFFERENT NOT WEIRD from your daily experiences in America. Bottom line on this one: people are people wherever you live and work in the world and we all share the same emotions and feelings inside, how we express them is another matter.

Third, in Korea we have a book titled "Ugly Koreans, Ugly Americans" (ISBN89-7512-122-4, by Min, Byoung-chul, BCM Publishers, Inc., Seoul, Korea). You may want to scout the online bookstores for something similar that you can study and refer to before you arrive in Japan and while you're there.

Fourth, you can try contacting the American Embassy in Japan for further cultural "do's and don't's" for Americans in Japan - good info and worth your time to become familiar with it.

Lastly, I presume you were selected to be an exchange student based on your academic ability, character, and manners. If you put forth the good manners you were taught (at home and from friends and others who influence your life) then you should be able to make a good impression on your host family. If in doubt about a cultural behavior, use your intuition or ask how to behave - you should do fine.

Open your mind and look at the world - don't just see it - or you'll miss many things worth implanting in your brain's memory.

Have Fun!

Answer 6

I was an exchange student with Youth For Understanding in 2005.

I went to Japan, too. I found that they were all very nice to me the first few weeks and showed me all sorts of attention, but then after a while I was just a novelty. If I had stayed longer, I might have been just one of them.

Your school might have a "big farewell", though. Mine was part of a regularly scheduled assembly.

Just be yourself and try as hard as you can.


If you have any more questions, contact me!

Answer 7

Just be yourself ! Don't put on a phony act. Japanese kids are pretty much like American kids. Some are good, and some are little brats. But for the most part I think they will be good.School work is very important to them. It means getting into a good college and having a future in the work market. I really doubt if you'll be going to any plays. Be thankful you can do this. There's many kids out there who would love to trade places with you.

Answer 8

Being an American exchange student, you will get a lot of attention, if you are friendly type, they would do the same being nice ..and if you are the shy type, it wouldn't be easy for them to approach you but this is normal for first time around, until you get used to everyone, you will know where you stand.. Being in another culture, sometimes you would have to learn different things and it is up to you how you would like to benefit on this experience.

You'll be fine..most students are shy and it takes time to get to know them, by the time you have to leave..the more you want to know them, but the attention is always around you.

Answer 9

How SHOULD you act? Well it would be polite to try to act like them, to fit in and respect their culture by conforming to it. But it sounds like you're saying you don't want big farewells and to attend plays - I never thought of those things as particularly Japanese, but I guess that's what you mean? YOu don't want to do things that would pull you out of your comfort zone just cause you're there and should?

If that's what you're saying, then I'd say it's up to you how polite to be. But you're not going there to eat at McDonalds and watch Idol, right?