We had alot of issues throughout our relationship due to him not being honest w/ me and out flirting and talking nasty to girls on the side. Moved in together - then found out about all of this, broke up....2 weeks after breaking up found out we were pregnant, he is soo excited and cant wait to be a father --- and although we get along PERFECTLY now. its still sooo hard emotionally for me....sometimes I even feel like I'm not excited about this because the situation is so crappy - i thought he'd wanna be a better honest person and maybe we'd find a way to make it work but he tells me he isn't in love with me anymore but he does love me and wants to take care of me and the baby forever. He kisses me, cuddles with me, and makes me feel great - but emotionally its really effing me up. I'm 13 weeks now and want to be excited but I'm so confused at the same time. Any suggestions how to get over him?
2007-03-26 13:12:00 · 24 answers · asked by Jamie B 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Only time will help you get over him. Unfortunately you cannot just cut him out of your life now to get over him since you are now having a kid together, you now will have a lifelong commitment together whether or not you guys end up together. Either you need to make a conscious effort to make things work out together, or you need to talk to him and let him know that you are done and just want to be friends for the sake of the child. Either way, this is something that you will need to sit down and discuss together. You need to figure out if it can work together and if not you will both need to figure out how to make it work apart. Unfortunately you cannot just cut and run.
2007-03-26 13:18:23 · answer #1 · answered by MRod 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about the baby. You shouldn't be sad so much because when you're sad during pregnancy, it can make your baby grow up to be a sad person. Nobody wants that.
If he's being good to you now, take advantage of it. Things seem to be working out now. You'd be surprised how much a man can change when he finds out he's going to be a father. Some take it the wrong way, others are thrilled. In your case, he may be a lecher... but when there's a baby in the story... he might feel as if he wants to give up that whole world of flirting & take on the role of being a great father.
With time, he'll fall back in love with you again once it really hits him that you guys are having a baby together.
2007-03-26 13:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very tough situation because number one it is great that the father wants to be in the baby's life. I think that you the two of you should not be together romantically. Many people work out having a baby and not living together. The most important thing is to put what is best for the baby ahead of everything else. The only way to get over a person is time. Just remember that while he may not be with you he wants to be with his child and that is important.
2007-03-26 13:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your pregnant your automatically are going to want someone with you. Try not to stress out too much about what he's doing. Most of all when he's telling you how he feels LISTEN to him ( not saying you don't but it's a very important key that women miss). Because your pregnant your going to expect more out of him but he's not going to change because of that. Try to keep yourself busy so you don't think about what he's doing too much.
If he wants to take care of you forever he needs to start by not causing you stress and emotional pain while your pregnant. You two definitely need to sit down and really talk about the future and caring for your son or daughter. Being a parent is very tough and if your feeling emotionally drained it can really effect your parenting ability. He said he doesn't love you, once you have the baby try to break off the deep emotional connection you have with him and remain friends. It seems terrible but it will work out for YOU and the baby in the long run. :)
2007-03-26 13:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by taliatalia22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be the father of your baby but it sounds like he's only around for the kid. He can be a good father but doesn't have to be a romantic part of your life. Bringing a child into a world where it's parents don't love each other isn't fair to it or you. Kick him out and tell him you just can't handle it right now. If he wants to push for custody the courts will lean more tword you since he cheated and was the one to mess things up.
2007-03-26 13:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by Owls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks but its probably just gonna take time. I mean cuz u cant really seperate yourself from him if he is the dad, and its good u get along. Just be patient. U will be over him before you know it! Chin up! If it means anything to you, im gonna be a single mom too, and im excited that i will have such a close relationship with my new baby! Maybe later, he or she can help me find a keeper, right! Good luck!
2007-03-26 13:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by ~Kimberly~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to stop cuddling with you or you need to stop him from doing it. If he doesn't really love you then that isn't going to help the situation. He must realize you care for him and it is really crappy of him to toy with you, a woman pregnant with his child. I'm sorry this is happening to you at this time in your life. You have to try to push him away somewhat. Otherwise, you will not be able to move on.
2007-03-26 13:20:16 · answer #7 · answered by lysistrata411 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know enough about your situation to truly give you advise, but from what you have said...I would say that if he is willing to commit to you and the baby for the rest of his life, then, for the sake of the baby, you should keep the family in tact. The fact is, nothing is about "just you" anymore..it's about your baby and his/her future. If your boyfriend is willing to marry you and commit to only you, then I would say that is very impressive. However, if you think he still wants to date other people and not marry you, then you should move back in with your parents and raise the baby in a stable environment. Children need stability so it is your job now to protect your baby and do what's right for her/him.
2007-03-26 13:20:05 · answer #8 · answered by katiebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you to see how he acts once the baby is here. Was boyfriend cheating on you? If so, then I'd say let him go. But, if he wasn't with anyone else, you could give him the benefit of the doubt. But, he says he doesn't love you anymore, find out why? As him why he wants to cuddle with you, if he doesn't love you? Talk with him. Maybe you can work it out unless he's been unfaithful.
2007-03-26 13:17:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of u shud jus lay decrease back and jus take it for what that's good now. the main severe element precise now may be the newborn and if he's gonna b interior the newborn's life as a good father. do no longer enable him rigidity u 2 plenty.as quickly as u initiate gettin farther alongside in ur being pregnant or after havin the newborn then in line with possibility somethin will spark in him 2 make him % 2 stay w u and attempt 2 make the kinfolk/relationship artwork. Bcuz on the top of the day he's gonna constantly might desire to b comin around u bcuz of the newborn.
2016-10-20 12:28:37 · answer #10 · answered by corridoni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋