Is it cruel to not hit your kids?

Question

Apart from letting them know that you care enough to get mad enough to give them a slap, surely it teaches the kid that there are boundaries that should not be crossed?

A kid who gets a slap now and then is going to learn that people can sometimes be physically violent and that there are some situations that you need to handle in certain ways, or you're going to get a good kicking.

How does a kid who is brought up to think that violence is not the answer, that people can always talk things over, that you can reason your way out of any confrontational situation etc. going to cope when some street thug mugs them?

If you are brought up to learn to recognise the signs of somebody getting to the stage where they are going to be a physical threat to you, you're going to be a lot more streetwise than some poor sap who thinks that turning the other cheek is going to get you something more than two bruised cheeks.

I know it's not a popular view, but i've got a point, haven't I?

Answer 1

i agree but go further. Perhaps when they do something right they need a good slap aswell.

Answer 2

Let me see if I got this straight:

You are saying to "slap" your kids around because some guy on the street who may mug them when they are older are going to slap them around anyway, so they need to get used to being "slapped" around?? Does that make sense to you?

I am not completely and totally against spanking (although I mostly am), but I have to say that is the most absurd and ludacrous reason for "slapping" a child I have ever heard of.

Let me ask you this. If you "slap" your child, are you going to allow your child to slap you back so that he can get practice handling these street thugs? No, more than likely, you are going to dominate him to know that you are the boss, and you mean business, and you are not going to allow any back talk or any lip back, correct?

How is this going to help the child in a mugging situation? He has been conditioned by you to be dominated, so when a mugger comes to him, naturally, he is going to allow the mugger to dominate him, because that is what he is used to, and this is how you have trained him to react. (trust me, I speak from experience.)

To me, that reason for "slapping" a child is in no way related to the situation you are trying to prevent, and if anything will not cause the desired results you seek to produce in your child in a mugging situation.

If this is what you are practicing on your child, you are not going produce the desired reactions in the child, and your child(ren) are going to grow up to at least resent your actions, or at most, totally hate and avoid you.

Answer 3

"Spare the rod and spoil the child" - we have heard this phrase many times before and to me, it is not cruel to hit your kids as a punishment for doing something wrong if it is done in love and with the right intent. When I say hit here, I don't mean abuse!

There are times when parents need to spank or hit their kids as a disciplinary measure but parents must first explain the reason for the punishment before doing so. However, anyone who goes berserk and starts whacking the kid for doing something wrong without first talking and explaining the mistake to the kid is themselves in need of counselling.

As a parent myself, I believe that the best way to handle discipline with my kids is to talk it out with them and only as a very last resort, when all else fails, should we use our hands!

Answer 4

You do have a point and then you don't. Spanking or smacking your child for a misdoing may indeed work for some children, but it doesn't work for many others. Children are individuals and parenting techniques need to be adjusted to that. I have seen children that have been hit for doing something wrong that have not done it again, but I have seen many that continue to. In my opinion it's much more effective to take away your kids favorite toys, games, and activities for an extended period of time as opposed to just hitting them. Think about it; you hit your kid, he/she hurts for a few min. and then it's done. You take away what a child likes most for a month and they're regretting what they did for a solid 30 days. If a parent is going to do this they need to stick with it for the full legnth of time, and if they do I think it works better. I don't think hitting is abusive by any means in this sense either, I just think that it's not very effective for many kids. Also, you can not hit your kids as a punishment and also not coddle them into thinking everything can be talked over. Ever heard of a martial arts or self-defense class? I think those would be more effective in teaching a child to defend him or herself in a violent situation than just smacking them. Again, parenting is individual and what works for one child might not work for another.

Answer 5

My dad beat us all up and now none of us speak to him so I don't think it is the best way to bring kids up.

I treat and speak to mine like adults and explain to them why they should or shouldn't do things. I have a good craic with them, they are really well behaved and know how to act in adult company.

That said, when one of them started to get bullied at school I told her to **** the other girl next time anything happened. Guess what? No more bullying. The school wasn't very impressed but that's the only way to deal with bullying.

So - to answer your question.

An adult hitting a kid? That's abuse.
An adult hitting an adult? That's sport.
A kid hitting a kid? That's part of growing up.

Now stop asking provocative questions you f**kwit and go to bed!

Answer 6

You do have a point. The world isnt all that kind and considerate so kids shouldnt be taught that either. Next thing you know your sweet baby son will be some fat 40 year old loner making mailbombs while watching porn and typing stuff into Yahoo answers.... uh oohhh.

Answer 7

You can send your children to self defense classes without slapping them around. Hopefully my children don't spend a whole lot of time on the streets. Raising them to be hard will just make them one of the thugs on the street.

Answer 8

previously I answer, i'm hoping that your undertaking improves. I have no theory what your ordinary undertaking in the kinfolk is, so i can't arise with concepts to advance your cutting-edge state. Please locate a help device that may aid you triumph over this, be it your college's guidance counselor, an older individual whom you have confidence, or every physique else. i might choose to signify which you verify that that individual is truthful, yet i think of recuperating your undertaking must be your first situation, so i'll in basic terms desire which you do locate a truthful individual who can aid you. to respond to your question, in accordance to my source, listed here are the achieveable the explanation why some mum and dad hit their childrens: > They have been abused or disadvantaged as little ones. > loss of parenting understanding > watching for too a lot from little ones, and not understanding the developmental ranges and desires of little ones > economic issues and unemployment, which create frustration and rigidity, that are then projected (the unique notice replaced into transmitted) to the new child > lack of self belief and immaturity, extremely between teenaged mum and dad > Alcohol or drug issues, or different varieties of habit, including playing > lack of ability to administration little ones single handedly, as regards to single mum and dad > Their self-photograph is improper. > They see actual punishment as a potential of disciplining new child i bypass to characteristic my own opinion here: > they have a skewed theory of what's appropriate and what's incorrect, so as that they choose issues in yet in a diverse way from the common individual. > rigidity launch > they don't think of they are being cruel because of the fact they think of it rather is common (they have continuously considered it from people while they have been youthful). > they don't think of it hurts that a lot. > they think of their little ones are the source of their undesirable success or a burden to them. > They on no account had to have a new child. consistent with possibility there are different motives, yet this variety of factor in basic terms pisses me off while i think of roughly it so i'm struggling with appropriate here. I in basic terms desire you will have a good existence inspite of all this.

Answer 9

Hitting your kids would be cruel in my view, it could damage them mentally and emotionally.
They might become accustomed to violence and be violent themselves, brawling or beating their wives.

Answer 10

No it is not cruel to spank a child if they misbehave. Note that the bible in Proverbs instructs the parents to teach their chidren the right way by spanking the child if they do wrong so that they grow up with displine and good character.

Answer 11

Your question is too long so I haven't read it all. For me anyone who has to resort to violence to discipline children has very poor communication and parenting skills. you can set boundaries without violence.