divorce......?

Question

My dad and all his brothers and sisters are divorced. do you think this means they came from a bad background or a good one?

Answer 1

That isn't necessarily either. It goes on many different levels. If the marriage isn't working, and help has been seeked out (because nobody knows what they are doing in marriage right off, it takes a lot of time and a lot of compromise) then sometimes it is better to break things off before it gets worse and people get hurt. If their parents were in a bad marriage it could be because they had a bad example for what marriage should be, or it could be that the parents' marriage was so great that whoever they chose, they didn't measure up to the expectations from their parents.

Answer 2

Everyone seems to be following a common theme here, but I offer this: I feel they probably came from a good background, one that was loving and taught the gains of sharing your life with someone else. This created the desire in the children (your dad and his family) to get married themselves before they realized who they were or what marriage really means. I think the divorce rate has gotten so high, because people were taught you're nothing if you aren't married with kids, which is a load of crap. Sure a marriage can enhance who you are, but you are your own person with or without a spouse. I don't buy into that whole "people change" garbage either- it's a cop out in my opinion- I think the real truth behind that is people don't take the time to truly find themselves, and often can't in today's high pressure society. Stop, smell the roses, decide if you like roses, if not cut them down, if you do grow more. Then ask your dad rather than a bunch of people (although we are very smart) who don't know you or him. By the way, I am married very happily. I didn't get married until 30, after living with her for about 4 years. We had a lot of arguments in the beginning, but I am a far better person with her than I was before. I had a good grasp on who I am as a person- she enhanced that. any changes to who I am are done with her and vise versa as she is my best friend too... good luck

Answer 3

It's not that simple chick. You'll discover, if you live long enough (and I sincerely hope you do), that people change over time. Ten, 15, 20 or more years down the road, you discover the person you married isn't the same person at all. Of course, it works both ways. I'm not the same person I was 30 years ago either. Times change, people change. I suppose it was different a hundred or more years ago, when the average man was dead by the time he was 50. People are living longer, and the longer you're on life's road, the more changes are going to happen. Divorce doesn't mean you're a bad person anymore than it means you're a good one. People are complicated. Life is complicated. I wish I had some profound statement to sign off with, but I don't. Nothing in the complicated web of human relationships is simple enough to fit on a bumper sticker!

Answer 4

I think it's just a coincidence. My father has 3 older sisters and 1 younger brother (who just turned 40). 1 sister was unfortunately widowed, but remarried. Another sister was divorced and then remarried, and the eldest is on either her 3rd or 4th husband (I lost count). My 3 Aunts are wonderful people, sometimes they just made choices that turned not-so-great. The one who had the most marriages just let her beautiful heart get taken for a ride. As for my Uncle, he's never been married. He's a serial dater, and I seriously doubt he'd ever settle down.

My Mom only has 1 sibling, and that's a younger sister (about to turn 40 herself). She used to be a social butterfly-serial dater. About 4 years ago, she met someone who isn't a deadbeat. 3 years ago, she got pregnant. They aren't married, but they are committed.

Over 10 years ago (just before I started the 5th grade), my parents separated. It lasted for 2 years, then my parents were suddenly together again. They've stayed together ever since and I see no signs of them ever stopping. They'll be celebrating 23 years of marriage this June.

So life's just a series of interesting coincidences and happenstances. I wish we could all make the right decisions in terms of family, but we all make mistakes and--hopefully--try to do what is best in the longrun. I seriously doubt anyone goes into a marriage with "Until DIVORCE do we part" in mind. Divorce is just an unfortunate and ugly reality.

Answer 5

Hi Cagsy, It's just something that happens to marry couples. It doesn't mean that a person is from a bad background because they are getting a divorce. There are many reason for a couple to get a divorce. In my case it was physical abuse, verbal and mental abuse.There could be someone is seeing another person while marry or one of the couples health has gotten to a point that the other one just cannot deal with it anymore and the list go's on. A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 6

HI, my opinion on this matter is simple, its people in general, we all lead hectic lives these days more so than ever, the grass is always greener on the other side of the mountain, we all tend to want what we can not get sometimes, you think its better at the top until you see what is on the other side, and before its to late someone has been hurt, people destroy there own lives by making the wrong decisions and as usual other family members are drawn in, its not backgrounds at all it certainly doesn't help if there are bad members, but we all have our own minds regardless of circumstances at the end of the day, and its a shame that humans sometimes forget that.

Answer 7

50% of all marriages end in divorce. But 80 to 90% of second marriages result in a divorce. The fact that all of the marriages in the family resulted in one or more divorces is obviously on the heavy side. I wouldn't go so far as to say that they had a bad background, but the numbers might very likely say something about their background. Some things happen in a marriage that a person can't control; e.g., maybe religion got in the way, maybe the spouse was unfaithful, maybe mom or dad caused the rift. You have the benefit of knowing something about your dad and his siblings; are they whacky?

Answer 8

i dont think it has anything to do with their background. Divorce is too easily done these days!
If you choose to marry someone you should make the effort to stick through the problems and work at them to resolve them. I believe in divorce for two reasons 1. An abusive partner and 2. An affair. Other than that i think everything else can be worked out if you chose to marry that person.

Answer 9

Just because everyone in the family is divorced doesn't mean they had a bad background.
Because they do not teach how to show affection, appreciation, acceptance and attention in school we tend to learn how to love from the behaviors our parents display. It sounds to me like the family in general did not have good role models in the art of love.
This does not suggest either a good or bad background just one deprived of love.

Answer 10

it doesn't mean that they come from a bad back round it could just be that their SO wasn't the right person to be with. this happens all the time now a days