My b/f and i broke up about 3 weeks ago because we were not working out. The understanding was that even before we broke up he was to come see him whenever he wanted and to pick us up on weekends because iam breastfeeding and we both agreed that breastfeeding was the right thing for our baby since we saw how bad of gas he had to the formula. Now he doesn't want me comming over on weekends so he wants to go to court for weekend just to hurt me and wants to give our child baby formula because his mother put into his head that he should not have to drive 20 minutes to come see his son. shes only doing that because shes not willing to come over to my house to see him. My son is only 3 months and i told them until i stop breast feeding prob in about 5 more months he will be over the ever weekend without me and whenever the father wants to see him. I dont see a problem with this i think they might try to secretly take me to court. What can i do to prepare what can they sy to take himfrm me
2007-03-26 12:36:33 · 4 answers · asked by JJ 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
First, let me say they can't "secretly" take you to court. Either the court will require them to notify you (and there are very limited ways the court allows for this, all of which require your signature) or the court will do it itself.
The best way to protect yourself, and your child, prior to court is to ensure that all the child's needs are being met. Do you have a steady income? A stable home? The ability to feed and clothe your child? If you can provide a livible atmospere it will be difficult for you ex to simply take your child away. In most states he'd have to show that the child was either not being properly cared for or was somehow being endangered before the courts would give him full custody.
Now for the bad news. Most states currently recognize the rights of a father to have have equal custody and access to his child. Whether you were married or not is irrelevant. You had an agreement before you broke up when things were nice between you. Now you've broken up and things are not so nice. You can choose to continue to honor that agreement, make a new one, or let him fight for some form of legal custody. Remember, until a court says otherwise, he legally has a 50% say on everything concerning the raising of the child. The law doesn't recognize a mother's trump card. If he wants to feed the child baby formula when the child is in his custody that is his right unless you can show that the child's life is being endangered by it, which would be difficult if the only problem is gas.
I would focus on making yourself as close to the perfect mother as I could. You can't control if he takes you to court but you can be prepared for it. Try to talk to him without his mother and work out an alternative arrangement that is fair to him now, not in 5 months. Remember, in a technical sense, he has just as much right to see his child whenever he wants with or without your permission. I would also be on guard against possible kidnapping if you think he's that desparate to get custody. Parental kidnapping is difficult to prosecute when there's no court order naming custody to one of the parents. If he takes the child and flees you may not have legal recourse.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I do wish you the best. Good luck.
2007-03-26 13:09:02 · answer #1 · answered by yn_tennison 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, stand your ground. He could just be bluffing. If he does take you to court, be sure to have a doctor's note saying your baby should only be breastfed because he reacts to formula and it makes the baby extremely uncomfortable and in pain. When your son is no longer breastfeeding and can drink formula, then he can start taking him on the weekend... but until then, he can wait. If he is still awarded the weekend visitation without you, then you can always pump and store and send that with him on the weekend and make sure your ex knows how to prepare the breastmilk. Good luck to you! Don't back down, though. A lot of times, people just blush when they bring up going to court just to scare you into getting their way.
2007-03-26 12:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who has the baby?
I don't think there is any court in the United States that would give the baby to the father, especially if you are breast feeding the baby.
Unless, you are not doing the right things as the mother. I don't know your situtation, so it is just speculation on my part.
2007-03-26 12:51:36 · answer #3 · answered by Little J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is the kids father, you need to work out something as soon as posible.
2007-03-26 17:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋