I have told him on many occasions that I no longer love him, that im also very unhappy and lonley. I just dont understand why he wont leave. We have three children with the oldest being 10. But ive always believed that staying together for the kids sake is not always the right thing to do. I did leave once for three months and It was the happiest I had been in a very long time. But he tried suiside and I took him back out of guilt. Im so unhappy but dont know what to do. Whenever I mention that its getting to much for me and that I want out, he cries and so I stay and pretend to be happy. What can I do?
2007-03-26 12:31:12 · 10 answers · asked by snowwhite 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes arussian he is hurting me. He is hurting me emotionaly and so therefore effects how I live. How can I raise our children to be happy strong adults when their Mum & Dads relationship is an unhappy one. I would love to leave, but I do not want to hurt him . I Just want him to except that I no longer love him. I want him to be happy to, because I know deep down he is just as unhappy as me. He just wont let go.
2007-03-26 12:59:57 · update #1
leave. you deserve happiness. people who attempt to suicide have other underlying problems, so you should not feel guilty about it. plus there is no point whatsoever in putting somebody else who doesn't make you happy above yourself. if you are not happy, you are probably impacting your children as well.
Threatening to kill yourself over somebody leaving is a sign of an unhealthy individual and an unhealthy relationship. If he really cared for you, he would let you go. This doesn't sound like love, it sounds like obsession and fixation.
2007-03-26 12:35:06 · answer #1 · answered by yukidomari 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am from the old school and believe in the marriage vows. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do we part. sorry, but the values of marriage these days stink. You want your happiness. What is it that makes you happy? the greener grass on the other side. The fun, the lights, the romance that is gone from your marriage that perhaps you might find elsewhere. Believe me the grass is not always greener. There is no man that will love your kids and take care of them like their real father. You will run into many problems getting your kids to adjust to being without their father. You need to think about everyone concerned and learn what sacrifice is all about. todays standards...if you are not happy leave. It's disgusting that so many marriages fail because one or the other can't really try reconciliation. It is true your husband needs help. He is emotionally pushing you further away by threatening suicide. I have been through the same. Life can be one big hurt. But you know what? After many years of unhappiness, I am happy now and we are closer than ever before. We stuck it out for better or worse and my children respect us more for it. If your husband has not cheated on you, count your blessings. He is one in a million. Please get some help for all of you.
2007-03-26 22:04:42 · answer #2 · answered by freedomrings 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to Dr. Phil's website he discussions this very thing in detail. You should not stay because someone is keeping you hostage with threats of suicide. Guilt does not equate love.
I would guess that he stays because he loves you and he loves the children and does not want to be without any of you.
Why do you expect HIM to leave? If you are miserable, you should either get couple therapy or get a divorce. You should not have to be miserably married the rest of your life.
Just because you do not believe that staying together for the kids sake is the right thing to do, does not mean that he agrees and shares the same opinion.
2007-03-26 19:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by concerned 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IMO you should BOTH go to therapy. The therapist will help him come to terms with this and if they know he tried to hurt himself last time, you can get help for him and be able to leave. At first the therapist may try to get you to stay with him but stand your ground until they realize you need to leave this unhappy situation.
Kudos to you for realizing that staying together for the kids is NOT always the best answer.
2007-03-26 21:00:57 · answer #4 · answered by TJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both need some seriously healthy doses of counseling. Whats your problem? if you guys have been married this long, It would be foolish to leave now without giving this your all. Why are you unhappy? is he hurting you or the kids? he sounds manipulative, someone taking their own life in jeapordy to get someone to stay is wrong. you need to remember this too, no one else can make someone happy. your own happiness is based on how you feel. no one can force you to feel anything. stop cutting the father of your children down and get your whole family some mental help. your kids too, for what your putting them through.
2007-03-26 19:42:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow! This sounds like a good bloody song inspiration. With themes like this New Wave and Emo music will come back. Maybe The Smiths could get back together and Morrissey and Robert Smith of The Cure could be friends again and play this tune.
2007-03-26 19:37:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you go out somewhere like a party or whatever,and you're not enjoying yourself, do you stay or do you go? Why stress yourself out by being somewhere that makes you unhappy? As for his suisidal threats, if he wants to do it he can do it with or without you. You need to get on with your life . He just uses that for an excuse. Good Luck.
2007-03-26 19:57:11 · answer #7 · answered by seahorse 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have to be strong and do what's good for you and those children. You are not responsible for his suicide actions or his unhappiness.
2007-03-26 19:35:29 · answer #8 · answered by Jewel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was able to save my marriage thanks to my family and friends. I also read a lot about marital issues and tips on how to save your relationship. The ebook on this site helped me a lot http://savemarriage.toptips.org
Check it out it's worth it.
2014-09-26 06:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question is, why do YOU stay when YOU know YOU don't love him anymore and you are very unhappy?
2007-03-26 19:56:42 · answer #10 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋