6mo old constantly crying to be held.?

Question

What do I do with him? I'm not able to get anything done. He's just been fed and changed, he's not tired, cold or hot, and he's not being overstimulated in any way.. he's just wants to be held. He's too big to put in the sling anymore, and he's uninterested in the swing anymore. So, I put him in his crib to play so I could do some things I need to do around the house and he just started screaming. He does this often when he's bored. He has toys to play with and stops crying after a couple of minutes, plays for a few, then realizes he's not being held and starts screaming again.. especially if he sees me walk by! I can't stand to let him scream, but he's getting to the poing where he cries if others hold him and stops when I take him, and I DO NOT WANT A CRYBABY! Do I just let him cry it out? I don't want him to think that I don't WANT to play with him, because I do.. but I have to get some things done.

ooarleloo- You just need to calm the hell down! Don't EVER accuse me of being capable of shaking my baby! I am a DAMN good mother and I am there with my baby constantly and know what he wants before he even has time to cry about it. What I meant by not wanting a crybaby is not wanting a child that just can't be held by another person for five minutes because he wants me. My son is not sick because I just went in there and picked him up and he started laughing. HE JUST WANTS TO BE HELD BECAUSE I HAVE SPOILT HIM TO IT BY DOING IT CONSTANTLY BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND CAN'T STAND TO HEAR HIM CRY. Oh, you're good at pissing people off, aren't you??!! My son is never wet, never hungry, always played with, sung to, read to, etc. etc. etc.. but he's also always HELD and all I want to do is break him of NEEDING that. THANK you VERY much. Now do me a favor, after you apologize for accusing me of being able to EVER harm my son.. NEVER answer one of my ? again!

Also, I'd hate to be one of your patients.. are you so disrespectful of them, too? OMG I can't believe you told me to put him up for adoption! Who the hell are you to judge my parenting abilities based on ONE sentence. My son is very happy and has a loving him and is VERY well taken care of, without YOUR help I might add!

Answer 1

My son is a lot like yours. I hold him often and of course he wants to be held often. I find that it has gotten a little worse lately, I think it's the emerging seperation anxiety. Sometimes I can put him in hi highchair and get stuff done. He can see me, I can talk and sing to him, and even dance goofy which always gets a laugh. I also have one of those jumpers I hang on the doorjam, that usually buys me enough time to take a shower (we play peek a boo through the shower curtain if needed). Other than that, I don't get much done until nap time. I also try to enjoy it while I can, one day I won't be the only thing that makes him happy and will probably wish I were!

Answer 2

I know how you feel. It can be very hard to get things done. The fact is you can't spoil a baby. Some people say you can but you really can't. He cries because he really needs you. He seams like one of those kids who really needs to feel safe. Think of it you are every thing to him right now. You are the one who gives him all that he needs. He doesn't want to lose that in any way. You are doing a grate job. As for getting things done you could let him cry for a little bit if you have to. You also could have someone watch him for a little bit some were away from you so you can get some work done that way. He will cry but he will get over it and still get held just by some one else. If he doesn't see or hear you he will settle for who he has. It will be OK.

Answer 3

I would recommend getting a front of back carrier. He might be too big for a sling, but he'd probably fit in one of those, then you would have both hands free. Your back might hurt for awhile in exchange, but he's probably only going through a stage. My son is just now becoming a mama's baby. And when he wants me, I hold him, no matter what. Yes, that means I can't always wash the dishes or make the bed, but I have the happiest baby in the world. And he's the most important thing in my world - not housework. I understand how tough it can be when you can't get anything done, but he just needs and wants love. I think he's too young to be spoiled yet, he just needs reassurance that you're always there for him to love on him and hold him. So hang in there, look at front or back carriers, and remember - it's probably a stage. He'll grow out of it before too long.
Any by the way, I think it was horrible of that so-called nurse to tell you she things you should give up your child. You're obviously a very good loving mother if you're at the point where nothing's getting done around the house because you're always holding him. If you didn't give a darn about your baby, he would be off screaming in his crib while you watched soap operas. She needs to get a clue. Sorry people like that even bother answering.

Answer 4

You pick him up. Even if you cant get anything done.
What is more important having a clean house or having a happy and contented baby?

It's just a phase he is going through right now and all you can do is deal with it till he gets over it. Just pick him up and try and do things whilst holding him. Most things you can do while holding a baby. Some you cant but they can be put off till he is asleep.
If its something that has to get done NOW, then its alright to let him cry for a bit while you do it.

Is he crawling yet? If so then just let him crawl around and follow you. Or put him in a rocker and take him where you go and talk to him, explain what you are doing, sing to him.
I had a cupboard in my kitchen that I filled with all plastic things, like plates and cups etc. So that when I was in there washing dishes or preparing food, my daughters could play with all the plastic stuff. Or give him a pot and spoon and let him bang it. Fill a bottle with rice and and let him shake it. Make sure the lid is on really tight.

Get him involved with what you are doing, that way he wont feel like he is being abandoned. He thinks that when you leave his sight then you dissappear forever. And you walking by and not picking him up is devastating to him because he doesnt realise that you are busy or that you will come back.
He will soon learn that you are still there but it takes a bit.

He doesnt want anyone else he just wants his Mummy. This quite normal and all kids go through this phase. In a few months it will be Dad or Nan or Pop.

He is not going to be a "cry baby", all babies need to be held. Some are quite happy to be left alone and some need constant attention and physical contact.

Please dont "break" him of the "need" to be held. Do you still need to be held on occasion? Do you need love and affection when you feel down or sad or scared? So does your baby. They grow so quickly and soon he wont want a hug or a kiss when you do. Its very sad and it hurts when they are happier playing by themselves than getting a hug from you. So enjoy this time NOW while you can. Leave the housework till he is asleep or get someone to come and help out if you really need it.

Really think about the importance of things, is it more important that your house is clean or that your baby is getting the love and attention he needs NOW.
I know its frustrating when you have a million things to do but you really have to put your kids needs before anything else. When he is older and able to entertain himself, then you will have time to do things. But for now he needs you and hugs and kisses.

Answer 5

i suggest you vaccum your floor just to make sure all the tiny peices are up and then let him play on the floor it will be a good learning experience you didn't say how old but if you scatter some toys around and maybe some cherrios then hed probably be pretty happy learning how to crawl or if he already knows how you'll have to vaccum the whole area and he can follow you at least he'll feel like he making some sort of accomplishment pluws he'll feel free the other thing is see if you can pick up an exsosaucer then you can have him with you where you need to be dishes or cooking whatever and he can stand (sorta) and play with toys and feel like hes part or the room

ps any uptodate literature says its impoosible to spoil your kids by holding them too much and paying attention to their needs in the first yr so don't think you are spoiling him but when you have to do stuff you have to so hopefully one of these things will work for you

Answer 6

Kids go through stages when they are clingy. I wouldn't let him cry it out. My 12mo old sometimes needs an entire day of being held- while it's exhausting you just have to deal.

I usually put him in the belly pack and do my chores around the house with him.

Answer 7

OMG Lady, consider giving this child up for adoption. I can't believe you actually said that you DO NOT WANT A CRYBABY. Are you for real? How OLD are you anyway? You need to SERIOUSLY consider going to your pediatrician or your usual doctor because I can see shaken baby syndrome written all over it. Ever consider maybe having your boyfriend/husband/aunt/uncle etc taking the baby for a while? Another consideration is an ear infection....if the child wants to be held all the time. The heat from your body and the upright position makes the ear drum feel better because of the heat and the direction the fluid is behind the ear. Get your child checked out and get yourself checked out as well. ASAP And for god's sake Lady HE'S 6 MONTHS OLD. Babies cry....thats what they do!

Answer 8

I think if my child were to act like this, I would make it a point to try to train him out of this. He seems to be very demanding. You know he's not in need of anything, just not wanting to sever the umbilical cord. A good test is to walk near him when he's crying. If he immediately stops and then gets excited because you are near him, he probably just wants held. Have you tried an exersaucer or a walker so he can explore or keep himself busy? What about some baby einstein videos?

In my personal opinion though, the best bet is to have daddy take your son and stick through it through for an hour or two. Let him cry with your husband sometimes and be comforted by your husband. It is going to drive you nuts, and your husband too, at first, but your son needs to learn to calm down with dad. Leave your sons eyesight and do not come back until he is asleep in his daddy's arms.. which will happen. You son will be upset that you're not holding him and will cry and soon fall asleep. Sure your son is going to get mad, going to scream, going to throw a fit, but the point is, he is ok. Dad can certainly provide for him. The main thing here though, is that your husband hold your son and not just pass him off to you because it's easier. Your son NEEDS to be held and comforted by daddy. Your husband needs to put your son to sleep so that your son can learn mommy isn't the only one who can help him with this. You and your son both need some time away from eachother. It is healthy. Go out and get a hair cut. Buy a new outfit. But leave your son in your husband's arms and give them a chance to get better acquainted with eachother. Eventually, your son won't even cry when daddy takes him.

From my own personal experience, my daughter was the same way and in fact when she started to crawl, she would follow after me and scream when I left the room or closed the bathroom door. I understand how hard it is to hear those screams, but its hard also to deal with it day after day knowing that your child is perfectly fine, just upset because you left for 2 seconds. This is when its good to have your son willing to accept comfort from dad. There are times you need to take some time for yourself. I am not suggesting that you ignore your son, I am just suggesting that you let dad get in on the action too. Let him help soothe your son so that your son can learn to be held and comforted by daddy too. He has two parents and it probably hurts your husband to not be "wanted" by your son. I am suggesting to you that you help strengthen their bond by giving your husband a chance. Your son is going to cry but eventually, he will learn to spend time with daddy too thus giving you some down time.

Answer 9

what about gas? have you heard of the 5 basic baby cries to communicate with you? it's a book written by a woman from england i believe.. she was also on oprah. for example: "neh" means baby is hungry. check it out!