How can you make my stubborn and lazy husband do a difficult task ?

Question

-difficult task: as in planning and working on a new house.
- please no sex suggestions, thanks :)

oh and #3: -stubborn: as in pushing (in any way) will only give opposite results

- I did ask 'nicely' several times.. he didn't do a thing
- I never use those words to his face. I respect him greatly, but that that's basicly the description that fits his situation most.

Answer 1

Actually, planning and working on a new house is not a difficult task.

But just to satisfy your question - if indeed planning and working on a new house is defined "difficult" for you and your husband then... here's my two cents.

If you have been married for a long time and he can't do, or hasn't done, a difficult task... then chances are - that he won't do it ever.

Check out his motivation. What would motivate him to do anything. You said he's lazy, but at some point in his life - he does something. Why does he even do anything - if he's that lazy (as you said)?

The bottom line is motivation. If it is a matter of life and death - then - he'd probably do it. For example - if he does not get his lazy *** up everyday to work - then you won't have money to buy food or pay for the basic necessities in life.

Perhaps for him - planning for a new house is not a matter of life and death - therefore chances are - he'll never do it... unless you make it seem like it's a matter of life and death.

Answer 2

First off the approach is wrong. If he knows you think he's lazy and stubborn then he's just going to be more lazy and stuppborn. If my wife called me Lazy and stubborn after putting in a 40 hour work week, coming home and on most nights cooking and cleaning the kitchen I'd say "I'll show you how stubborn and lazy I can be b****" and the task would stay undone until hell freezes over. The old phrase, "You can attract more flies with honey than you can with vinegar" applies here. How would you feel if he wanted you to do something and was calling you a "lazy cow?" I'm sure you'd be a bit upset now.

Also, what is the difficult task? Building a 40 ft. brick wall by hand? Glass Blowing? Is this something that is needed to happen or you'll lose the house or is it something you just want done? If it's the latter, combined with the fact that you've labelled him stubborn and lazy you might as well strap on the tool belt and start the project yourself. If it's needed for a rational reason then sit down and explain to him why it needs to be done and when it needs to be done, with just a little bit more respect than you showed him here and he'll probably do it. Respect and kindness actually can help.

Answer 3

You can't dear,

You cannot change others. And if you are calling him lazy to his face chances are he really doesnt want to do anything for you then. However there is some really great news!! I found that the Lord God actually can get a stubborn husband's mind to change. Why dont you pray to God about what you need done and ask Him to change your husband's mind about it, instead of trying to force him to see things your way and probably calling him names and then going off in a huff. Watch God whip your man into shape. Wanna know how I know this works? Been here done this tried it and God does everything but fail.

Answer 4

First of all, change the way you're thinking about him. No man wants to be thought of or described as lazy. Why should he work hard for a woman who calls him names to a bunch of strangers? Be nice, be kind, be respectful, and you might be surprised that he returns the favor.

Secondly, ask another man to do it. Call a contractor or an architect and get to work on it yourself. Sweetly tell him about the people you're bringing in and let him know that you're on top of it. Either he'll decide he wants to be involved and will take an interest or he won't, but either way, you won't be waiting around being pissed off.

Answer 5

there are 2 covert incentives i have used........

1) start the project myself. hubby inevitably gets curious about what and how i am doing then takes over because
"that's not how you do it.....THIS is how you do it !"

2) make an appointment with or hire a professional.
hubby uses the following excuse
"i'm not paying someone for something i can do myself AND it'll cost double the amount!"
but i'm 100% positive it's more to do with territory & testosterone

Answer 6

get an estimate as to the cost of the project done by a professional. Show your hubby the estimate a and then see which way he wants to go.

May be cheaper and better to have the job done by someone else.

Answer 7

News flash, sweetheart: you can't *make* anybody do anything.

The only thing that would have the slightest, most remote chance of success, would be to somehow take away something he enjoys, and not return it until he does what you ask.

Of course, there's the chance he may let you have one upside the head, so... good luck with that.

Answer 8

I always start the project myself. He'll usually step in and tell my how I'm doing it all wrong. Before I know it, it's all done!! Works every time. You'd think after 10 years he'd catch on. :p

Answer 9

It's a Guy Thing.
If at all possible don't mention whatever it is for awhile,
when the subject comes up don't nag but, let him think it
was his idea when he suggests doing something.
It's like this, if they didn't think of it first it can't be done.
Imagine that!
LOL

Answer 10

ok so do what you think his opposite answer will be. if you tell him ok we wont work on the bathroom this weekend, he may just jump in and say no I'm going to do it. sometimes you need to use reverse phycology(not sure if spelled right but hope you get idea) on them and it will get done. other then that I'm not real sure what else to tell you. good luck :)