I'm asking (here and in the single section) because my current date makes me realize I don't feel comfortable when my boyfriend (or husband) has a lot more money than I do. The reason why I feel bad about it is that I don't want him to pay all the time, but I can't afford eating at the same places as he, at least not now. We don't live the same kind of lives in that way. How would you/do you deal with problems like those?
2007-03-26 11:04:00 · 19 answers · asked by Kerosa S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you all for your answers! I want to add that I definitely think that a woman should make her own money and that's probably why my pride doesn't want me to be in this situation.
I have recently graduated from college (M.Sc. in EE) and am looking for a better job than the one I have. My date has been working for a few years and has different habits according to his financial situation. However, I don't think this will be a problem in the long run, as soon as I get a better job.
2007-03-26 11:27:10 · update #1
it's okay once in a while to have him pay for your stuff but ask him if he can only do it on speacial occasion. that way you feel like there is a propose. other wise ask him if you can help pay for your own stuff. i'm pretty sure that he would be understanding and love you even more for wanting to be a bit independent.
2007-03-26 11:10:59 · answer #1 · answered by ynguyen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THe only reason I would say its okay for the husband or boyfriend to be rich or have more money is because they had to get it someway. Mostly by working hard, staying commited, focused and value work and money. So if they can do that then marriage and being a husband should be right up there for them. I think that you should go halfway or in the beginning let him pay since its dating etc. Then once its more of an established relationship and commitment then you can decide to go halfway on everything. Or say I'll take you to lunch my treat, or i got this. But I would recommend going half on everything because then you won't have the whole well I paid this and that one day when you break up (if you do).
ALSO ...I think women should stand up and earn their own money and not depend on guys so much. I dont think we should look for rich husbands or depend on them instead talk about your financial problems and work things out.
2007-03-26 18:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been out with a "rich" guy. My husband makes several times more than I do, and can afford much more than I ever could - but it doesn't make me uncomfortable; we're not dividing up the finances into "mine" and "yours". I don't know how I would feel if he was making 100 times more than I was - this would put him into a totally different lifestyle bracket, and I might not have been comfortable with that. But for as long as our lifestyles are generally similar, it doesn't matter to me if he can afford to buy a house and I can't - because once we're together, everything's "ours", and we both contribute to the relationship in many different ways.
2007-03-26 18:13:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is that a problem? So one night you all eat at a fancy restaurant and the next time you eat at taco bell. Having a spouse or boyfriend who is rich is like a cherry on top of a good thing already. Don't worry about it. Just offer to pay whenever you can afford to. I'm sure he understands that you aren't as well off as he is. I'm sure he thought about it when he started dating you. Obviously he is fine with it if he is still with you.
2007-03-26 18:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Silly, if your partner has their own $$$ then it's not a problem. It's only a problem when the money comes from the head of the family. as in a parent or grandparent. Otherwise, the only thing you have to watch for is them trying to act like they own you, but if you put it down right, they won't want to lose it.
2007-03-26 18:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by Super D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing to feel uncomfortable about, he wouldn't be paying if he didn't want to. I'm sure he realizes that you can't afford the same lifestyle as he has but that hasn't stopped him from wanting to date you. Relax, enjoy the ride and be pampered for a change!
2007-03-26 18:10:29 · answer #6 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel if he really cares about you he will try to change that yall go someplace that both of you can afford
or it might be that he wants to show you want kind of things he can give you if that is the case you are on your own i think when they try to hard something else is wrong
2007-03-26 18:09:43 · answer #7 · answered by lorileerdcm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him out too but at places you can afford on you salary!
Eating out is expensive. Maybe you can cook at home together. It can be fun and romantic.
Also, make your own money. It's not the 50s. Relying on another person's money forgoes your own freedom-don't put yourself in that position ever!
2007-03-26 18:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't feel comfortable.
Also tell him you'd like to pay some times but can't always afford the same places.
I doubt sincerely he wants to show off, or that he wants to shame you.
I paid most of the time that I was dating and engaged to my wife... because I wanted to. I wanted (and still want) to do things for her because I love her and cared. While I'm not rich, I do like to spoil her when I can.
2007-03-26 18:08:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ummm.... Let him pay that's ok if you don't have as much money.. (when i first red this i thought you were being a gold digger) Just talk to him about it.. he will get a kick out of it.. and say it's okay i like to pay for you GARINTED
2007-03-26 18:08:31 · answer #10 · answered by brandon c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋