Does any one have a high functioning autistic child?

Question

I would love for anyone out there to be able to give me some help for my son he is 14 years old and is suffering from social withdrawal so badly that he hasnt been to school, or anywhere else for that matter in 16 months, he also has ocd and selective mutism.had lots of pros dealing with himbut nothing works.HELP!!! got any ideas to get him out of this rut he is in.

Answer 1

My son has moderat autism, but much of what you are mentioning is very similar to issues we have had. I will say I am concerned that he is not in school...are you homeschooling him? WHile homeschooling can, in many cases, be a wonderful choice for autistic children, it sounds as if your child needs to exsposure to other students. If he had been in a regular class, it may be wise to consider changing his placement to a self contained special education classroom that is structured specifically for autistic children. He will be able to get the support he needs to begin reaching beyond his known world.

As for what you can do at home, there are a few things I found helpful. To start, pick outings to places or with activities you know your child will want to take part in. In the beginning, it doesn't matter if it is just to go to the grocery store to pick up his favorite ice cream or cookies. The shorter the better for the first few trips out! But make sure there is something there that he will want to get, see, try or do.

Next, start planning the trip out at least two weeks in advance. Pick a day for the trip and mark it on the calendar. Every day, have your son mark off another day. Talk about how the trip will go, breaking it into steps (First, we'll put on our coats and walk to the car. Next, we'll get in the car and pull out of the driveway, etc. etc.) If your son has an easier time with visual schedules, take your digital camera one day and take pictures of each step of the trip. Make a trip schedule and use that when you review the trip each day at calendar time. Be sure to include things that he may need to deal with sensory issues...ear muffs if he is sensitive to sounds, gloves if textures are an issue, an object he uses to feel secure. End the schedule with pictures of your son and the object or activity. Then lay out the return trip as well, with pictures to represent your son eating, playing with or sharing the task he has accomplished. Make a book if you like and go over it with calendar time, before bed, anytime you feel he is receptive. Always sound excited but be reassuring that you will be there with him the whole time.

At the same time as you are using your picture schedule, find some social stories (your library, online, make up your own) about other kids going out and trying new things for the first time. Use the stories as a chance to talk with your son about how leaving the house makes him feel, about things he would like to try and places he might like to go.

The day before the trip, check things like the weather, if there are any sales that may make the store more crowded or for any last minute changes that could affect the activity. That niight, get your rest. You will need to be in top form for this. Your son will look to you for the structure and reassurance he needs to take such a step. You will need to be as patient as you have ever been, as positive as you can be and be ready to turn around and head home at a moment's notice if your son simply can't handle the trip. If that happens, simply go home. Your son will be upset. Reassure him that you know he tried, are proud of how far he got (even just sitting in the car is progress!) and that you will plan another trip and keep trying. It may take several trips before he actually makes it to the destination, does the activity and makes it home. Each time praise him for how far he did go and tell him you will try again. When it does finally happen, it will be time to celebrate. Have him share the news with others who will appreciate his efforts and praise him for it. And then plan your next trip...one that will be a little longer, go a bit further. In time, your son may be more than willing to hop in the car and spend the day out and about. And with that will come opportunities to join other families with autistic children for social gatherings, as well as the chance to meet other kids in church groups, extra curriculars or clubs.

Answer 2

I had a pretty bad time at school, had no friends and was totally withdrawn. As a result I got in a lot of trouble and missed a lot of my lessons because I either got sent home or I wouldn't go in. I'm hoping the system has changed somewhat since then because while I was at school there was NO help and because I recieved good grades the school assumed I was just badly behaved.

It wasn't until I was 23 that I was first diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome and was then sent for IQ tests which came out much higher than average (I got higher than one test measured up to!). Unfortunately, the problems at school got me into a rut (I had very few social skills and very little self confidence as well as the always problematic OCD).

I think its important that you try to get your son help as soon as possible. The National Autistic Society (just google them) have a list of private therapists who can help, and there may be help available on the NHS as he's under 18. Organisations such as the NAS may be able to give you further advice as may your GP. I also got into a situation where I wasn't going out and now I'm having a pretty hard time, so I thing its vital that you try to stop him from withdrawing completely from the world as otherwise it may be hard to get him back.

I can't say what would be the right treatment as I'm not a psychologist but I have been told that CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) is very beneficial in high funcioning autism/ Aspergers.

Anyway, situations like yours are more common than people think, and there are lots of support networks available on the net. I hope everything workd out for you and your son as I know how difficult this situation is.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

I have not delt with your exact circumstances so my sugestions are purly a trial and error as it is the only way I knew how to learn.
I have read loads over the past 10 years online and can offer no instant fix.
you said selective mutism so i take it he can talk but chooses not to, he is withdrawing from social situations also.
Do you know what the major problems where at school to make things so bad?

I would start on 1 thing at a time with little tasks depending on his intrests (most have something no mater how strange it is) try to get him to look up his intrest online maybe theres a group of people the same then try to get him to take a small quiet trip out of the house with the 1 person he comunicates best with (best time is when other kids are at school avoiding times when the lunch hour is for the local schools, if places arn't busy it is easier) allow him to help with planning and decoratiing his bedroom to a way he feels at compleat easy if that is posable.
you mentioned the ocd i understand that anything you do try to achive has to be around this and if you can pinpoint the cause or the thoughts behind them it may help slightly.
I know sometimes your taking 3 steps backwards for every 1 forward. try not to get frustrated and prise him more when he manages to do something.

From experience now.
I understand more about the social withdrawl and how hard it can be to get someone to walk into a shop or speak to the person behind the desk - we found the problem being they felt so uncomfortable being teenagers shopping and they feel as if they was being watch all the time we found out that this stemmed from seeing other teens stealing and they felt as if what others had done reflected on them because they where of the same age group. trying to get the message across that everyone is diffrent is very hard when they have such fixed ideas on things.

does your son wear glasses by any chance?
the reason i am asking is that i had to fight for the eye test for Irlene's and kept gettign told no she can't have that. but on testing at 20 they confirmed she did infact have it and since she has worn the fillters she can now see christmas tree lights when we never knew she couldnt for all those years. also the ocd has subsided i don't know if this is conected in any way.

Answer 4

Have you tried using making up some social stories on the computer using lots of visual data. My son is high functioning also and i find them very hlpful. My son is 10 and i am finding his behaviour more challenging as he gets to puberty. The National Autistic society in my area have been great. When my son decides not to speak i just go with the flow. Contact his therapist and phsycologist to see if they can help. Or use his obsessions to draw him into the outside world gradually....i really feel for you i hope everything turns out okay for you............

Answer 5

I really liked Annie's ideas. I would be concerned about the social withdrawl. He is trying to tell you something by his behavior. I would seek assistance from a good therapist who specializes in autism, you may want to seek out a M.D. as well to deal with the withdrawl using meds. 16 months is a long time to withdraw.
I would use the picture schedule as Annie stated. I would defintately provide him with a 1 must activity each day and increase it to two, then three.
I would try to carve out activities he must complete with you.
Definately get medical advice!!!

Answer 6

I hope you are working with a therapist who specializes in the area of Autism and OCD.
The school also has a responsibility to provide support and services to all children with disorders that negatively impact learning. Does your child have an IEP?
You may need to call a meeting and request family assessment services such as an in home therapist to support you in getting you child in school. But first find out what is so horrible about school that is cause him to refuse to go.
Please speak with a good therapist about your issues.
Good Luck

Answer 7

Hi!

I attended a HIgh Functioning Autism Training at www.teacch.com

This website will give you good information and resources.

Do you have a dianosis of this? If so, you may wish to check with your local provider of services to developmental disabilities for various assistance, including behavioral. The Autism Society may have a local support group or chapter. http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer

Answer 8

my son is 13 and he is also a high functioning autistic with ADhD and aspergers syndrome and yes he is a handful at the best of times but he is to trusting of people and strangers, is your son in a special school and could he have been bullied at school by others, or could there be a girl involved that he likes and maybe she doesn't like him in the same way.

sorry i can't be of any real help to you i know it's hard with autistic kids but it's so rewarding as well.

Answer 9

o.k. really i don´t personally know much about this, but my children go to a diverse school run by directors who are psyciatrist and neuropsycologist, it´s an experimental center and i know they have many kids with autism and i know ´cos i´ve seen them better the autism in loads of kids, she´s a real crack at helping them. The school is in Spain, it´s called Pelouro, the directors go all over Europe giving semenars. perhaps you could google up info on them, if you need any other info i could help you with let me know. good luck