she went back to here old boyfriend last weekend . her and i were living together for 9 months.(were in are late 30s)she has 2 kids 1 12 years old that lived with us and the other 17 that never did.the guy she went back to has kiched her out in the past at different times in there relationship.i dont have no kids and i have never been married .i dont drink,do drugs or smoke cigaretts. i attend church regularly.i want to practice thy will be done in this situation.i need some acceptance and i need to see my part.my anger seemed to get the best of me and i expressed a lot of abusive home outbursts and in the car too tord my girlfriend.in the last 9 months we both have had things happen her daughters step brother died,my mom died and my grandma died , her daughter ran away and she had a tumor removed and had some stuff taken out 6 weeks ago and she cant have no more kids. i love her and miss them. even though she has chose him over me. is it healthy to want to still be with her?
2007-03-26 10:38:12 · 9 answers · asked by vanstone_2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, its not healthy but its perfectly normal. Time is the only thing that can cure heartache. But the sooner you realize that she was a waste of your time, the better off you will be.
2007-03-26 10:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by Joe K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to still want to be with her, but it doesn't sound healthy for you two. I guess I would encourage you to work on you for a bit. I would encourage you to see a therapist and deal with the anger issues. If you don't get that under control, you'll ruin another relationship. Learn from this one, you need objective help in learning better ways to deal with stress and anger (granted you two had a lot of extra stress in those months). Fix you then look for a different Ms. Right.
2007-03-26 17:46:40 · answer #2 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That seems to be one of women's major drama the old boyfriend and there like pimples they keep coming back. But 9 times out of ten the women find out its the same old story and nothings changed. Then after they find out nothings changed they want to come running back to you and in your case it was after 9 months. Did I take them back...no because the same drama will happen again. Even though it hurts you need to move on and put it behind you. She showed you how she truly felt when she left you unfortunately some women just don't get it and are clueless.
Move on my friend and chalk it up to experience.......
2007-03-26 18:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a healthy part of grief to still want to be with her. It becomes unhealthy if it becomes obsessive or impossible for you to let go of your grief. In time you should slowly feel that feeling let go and your pain easy. If it doesn't then I would seek counseling with your religious leader or a trained therapist.
Good luck. It hurts and it's unfair but it does get better.
2007-03-26 17:45:57 · answer #4 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are religious guy... take your bible, and read what it says...??? There are too many hurt feelings, don't take her back anymore.
Kids you have together are importan to healthy adult relationship, my opinion.
There are many nice girls, same age than you are, out there without kids, searching church communities for nice guys to have kids with... Believe me, females are quite desperate to have kids at age 30 to 40, so i don't think you have any problems to get yourself into new serious relationship, just volunteer at your church, and you'll see.
;)
Take care!
2007-03-26 17:53:42 · answer #5 · answered by eve 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it *healthy?* I can't say, but it's definitely a roadblock towards you truly being happy. If she wants the ex, let her go back to him and don't give her a second thought. Find someone new.
2007-03-26 17:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOW many times r u going to post this question?!!!
2007-03-26 17:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by Sexy*Black*Chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just move on and don't let her play you any more,she was obviously talking to and seeing him behind your back
2007-03-26 17:42:26 · answer #8 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't healthy. Move on.
2007-03-26 17:42:29 · answer #9 · answered by Grampa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋