I was in a relationship for about 4 years with a girlfriend. The relationship wasn't really a healthy one, it didn't work well at all.
Recently she sent me a birthday gift and a letter. We haven't spoken for about a year. I don't necessarily want her in my life as I feel she was a bad influence on me and made me unhappy, but I do want to reply. Anyone got any opinions on how this will work out?
2007-03-26 10:25:35 · 21 answers · asked by Someone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just wanted to add, big thanks to anyone taking the time to respond.
2007-03-26 10:33:40 · update #1
A simple thank you note will suffice. State you are doing well and are happy and hope the same is true for her.
I'm not sure what it is you want to "work out." But if you want to see her again, I think this is the opportunity to do so as she has opened the door. Otherwise what's to work out?
2007-03-26 10:30:13 · answer #1 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with contacting her and thanking her for the gift. But at the same time, you will need to let her know that you have a new life now, perhaps telling her there is another special person in your life. You have managed very well for the last year with her out of your life, don't fall back into that old pattern, people really don't change.
2007-03-26 10:45:21 · answer #2 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others, a very simple thank you for the gift card...say nothing more. Put the relationship in a box and seal the lid tightly....and move on. Relationships aren't made to make you unhappy. I think she will understand when she receives the card - my guess is she was testing the water.
Best wishes for your futurel.
2007-03-26 23:37:16 · answer #3 · answered by MrandMrs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say do not send a thank you card or say thank you by text/email etc. As when you make that little step it can often mean you are back incontact and can easily slip back into a routine....even if it is a text/email/sending cards or gifts.
Plus she is an ex for a reason...hard I know.
And I know how hard it can be when people say stay strong don't react to her or get in contact...but she may think she has won you over if you react!!
2007-03-26 11:02:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
here comes that feeling again hey???
think about why she is your ex in the first place
then weigh up the good the bad and the ugly
if she was a bad influence on you - why oh why
do you want to contact her - remember she made you unhappy - do you really want to go there again
let it go, its been over a year - she is trying to get back into your good books
dont answer her letter - simple mathematics
2007-03-26 10:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by boonoora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep...opinion here! Women don't send gifts and notes/letters unless she thinks she's going to get an answer. If she made your life miserable, pack the letter and the gift back up and send it back..."return to sender". Or do you just like pain? It won't work out, you already know that. Let it go, Lewie!!! Godloveya.
2007-03-26 10:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
reply saying that it was a nice gesture to buy you something but she didnt need to go to any trouble and you've had a think and you have decided that it wouldnt be appropiate to be friends again.
also say that you would like her to meet your new girlfriend. even if you havent got one, it'll mean to her that you dont want to go back to her but you are ok with being friends.
if you plan backfires and she wants to meet her, then make out you're not that serious yet and havent got past dating. and when times ready you'll introduce her.
as time goes by then just put this imaginary girlfriend to the back of your head and you parted.
but it just makes to your ex that you have someone else in your life and if she dont want to know you after that then you know all she wanted was to be back in the relationship
2007-03-29 20:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you respond to this gift you are opening dialogue.
What exactly do you want to say or hear?
What's the point if she is a negative influence?
Why do you really want to reply?
To be polite? Be polite to yourself .......
2007-03-26 15:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. if you were unhappy then, you would be a little insane to go for it again.
If at first you don't succeed, Run Like HELL in the opposite direction
2007-03-26 10:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by O Him 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send a 'thank you' card - they are quite impersonal. Just sign it and add something pleasant at the bottom. I think if your instincts have told you its a bad place to go, then don't go. You can stay polite but distant.
2007-03-26 10:31:02 · answer #10 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋