I came home from working overseas 2 1/2 years ago and met a girl I really liked almost straight away but a few weeks later I bumped into my ex. We had only split up when I went overseas and she couldnt join me because of her studys but we seemed to pick up from where we finished off. Soon I had to make a choice and I choose my ex because she was my girlfriend since schooldays and we would never have split if I hadnt went away.We have been together since but I kept in touch with the other girl and have been having sex with her for about 18 months on the side.
After 9 months of pressure I agreed to marry my girlfriend even though its not what I want..I made it clear that I didnt want to get married for a long time and she agreed but now both our moms and her are planning it and trying to get me to agree a date and stuff. The other girl says if I get married me and her are finished and I dont want that either.
I want things to stay how things are now. I dont want to lose either of them.
2007-03-26 09:58:49 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I need a way of how to cancell the wedding without losing my girlfriend or a way to get fiona to not leave me if I do get married.
What can I do ?
2007-03-26 09:59:57 · update #1
Only serious answers please. No lectures.
2007-03-26 10:02:52 · update #2
You actually expect me to help you figure out how to lie and cheat on your wife without any consequences???
Well, ask and you shall receive! Here's what you do...you give me your wife-to-be's phone number and we'll have a little girl talk...I'm sure she'll understand that she cannot fulfill all your needs, and that you are a lowlife who deserves to have his penis cut off and his balls fed to him! And I'm sure she'll be more than happy to help you out! You don't even deserve to be called a man!
2007-03-26 10:13:51 · answer #1 · answered by Kat ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to resist the urge to be judgmental on this one and try to give you the best advice I can in your predicament. Call off the wedding and come clean. I bet it has been exhausting living this double life. First of all, you can't keep both of them forever. Eventually you will be busted. Either your fiancee will find out and dump your *** and your parents and everyone will think that your an asshole or you end it now. Before you get married and start having kids and ruining their lives by entering into a loveless marriage. Cause if you loved her, you wouldn't be screwing around. Love means sacrifice and selfishlessness. None of which you have exhibited. You may be lucky and get the other very dishonest and also morally degraded woman to stay with you. After all, she is as honest as you are.
2007-03-26 10:09:30 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not a nice person, you deceive you're g/f (present) as well as the new one. Also the new g/f hasn't any morals either, sleeping with you knowing you have a g/f. It seems to me that, the new g/f and you are better suited for each other since neither one is honest. You both are players and you sir, defiantly need to come clean with original g/f about you're affair. Most likely, she would not want to marriy you and you're problem, would be solved. If she does though, she's not very bright and takes a huge chance by tying the knot with you. There is very little chance the marriage will make it due to the fact that, you're cheating now and would again later, while married.
2007-03-26 10:12:05 · answer #3 · answered by SwissAK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is just wrong.
This means something simple: you don’t love any of them. You only love their p u s s i e s.
Now, it seems to me that you actually care a little bit about your original girlfriend as you chose her before. Is she not enough for you sexually speaking?
For what you said, the second girlfriend actually knows everything about your other girl. So how come she is ok with it, with the fact you are sleeping with both, but after you mention getting married she freaks out and says she will dump you if you marry the other girl??
There is something wrong with you, and with your new girlfriend. The original girl is the only one here that seems to be innocent about all this and will probably get hurt the most (unless there is a dark secrete behind her we all ignore).
If we go about compatibility, you are better off with your second girl, she seems open minded about sex, just like you, so you two could be happy with each other and still have fun with other people if you want. Kinda swinging style.
First thing first. You must call off that wedding. You are not good for her and you are going to devastate her if you marry her and then the whole thing comes out public about your lover.
Unless you are willing to change and finish your relation with the other girl, you must stop the wedding. Still, you will be always risking that your wife will find out from your ex-lover, and then will be hell.
But you are the one who made this mess, so you must get out of it by yourself. If I were you, I would call off the wedding, and be honest with her. I am playing the devil’s advocate here. I would maintain the second girl on “hold” and tell the first girl everything. And tell her you are over with the second one, and that you will marry her only if she forgives you, otherwise you are good for nothing and don’t deserve her, and she doesn’t deserve to have a jerk like you.
If she accepts to forgive you, you have to run to the other girl and end the relation, is over, finito, done. And if she treats to tell your future wife, you tell her “is too late, I already did and she still wants me”.
Otherwise, if she brakes up with you, then you always have your second girl there waiting with her legs open for you. And that is what you want, right? So there.
What is the worse that can happen, that you loose both of them. Well, it will be a good lesson for you. Otherwise, you might end up marrying a good woman, or living a swinging life with another one, or maybe marrying her and settle up. You never know.
Or, you have another solution, and that is to have a threesome from now on… LOL If that happens you would be the luckiest bastard on earth.
Good luck, and don’t destroy your “fiancé’s” heart.
2007-03-26 10:20:54 · answer #4 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to come to some sort of conclusion about who means more to you. If two mother's and a girlfriend are planning your wedding without you, tell them to go right ahead, and also say if you are expecting me to be there, you are all wasting your time and money.
Personally, I would have nothing to do with your girlfriend who is planning what you don't want. Tell them you agreed out of pressure and that is no way to get married.
2007-03-26 10:04:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's an old saying about cake and eating it. If you swap it about a bit it makes things a bit clearer.
You can't eat your cake and have it too.
You HAVE to decide. And now with the added pressure you have to decide soon. You love them both, but unfortunately in western society that choice has pretty much been shot down for you. You must chose - Fiona or Apple?
2007-03-26 10:28:00 · answer #6 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cancel that wedding..your not ready,you don't have a good relationship if your not totally satisfied with the bride to be and you don't have honesty,commitment,true love,
you are too selfish and immature for marriage,do them both a favor,....be honest with both of them before you bring more pain divorce,babies into it..she will want babies next. Fiona loves you ,you know but it sounds like she has pretty low self esteem to put up with this at all.you are damaging these women..
2007-03-26 10:10:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your a jerk first of all! for playing with these two girls that way,your not ready for marriage so why are you playing games with the whole family?,that just shows how selfish you are,think of all the people you are hurting,by lying,the gf is better off without you,at least she would have a chance at true love,not some wanna be player,as far as the ex you should tell her the truth about what your doing to her too!
2007-03-26 10:07:08 · answer #8 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to pick one. It will NOT work forever that way. And I have been on the bad end of that deal and know how much it hurts to find out someone you are in love with is with someone else at the same time. So pick one - they will get over losing you a lot faster than finding out you are spending time with someone else at the same time.
2007-03-26 10:46:25 · answer #9 · answered by brog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to marry the one girl, but don't want to lose the other one either.
Stop the wedding plans.
Tell the other girl you called it off.
Then take a break from it all until the dust settles and find out where your heart really wants to be.
2007-03-26 10:42:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋