I had behaved my best with a friend, was always there for her when she needed me but she had hurt me. I am just an option in her life when she doesnt have any1 else or anything to do, or when she wanted an ear or shoulder to cry on she remembers me and this behaviour of hers have hurt me alot.
I have asked here so many questions to what to do and how to behave with her, many people told me to talk to her but I feel she knows that I need her time and attention and at the same time she knows I am always there for her, always available.
I used to run at her 1st call, was always there when she needed me but now its enough.. I want her to give me some importance.. I dont to become an Option in her life.
This is my last question related to her. I have decided to return her what she gave me, Iam not going to be any more available for her. Am I right to do this?
I am not going to hurt her or do some harm to her I am just not going to be available for her. Do u think it will affect her?
2007-03-26 09:52:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
If she's never there for you....you shouldn't waste your time and energy trying to help her. Friendship is two way street, you have to give to get, and you have to be loyal. Sounds to me like this girl is taking advantage of your good ways. Talk to her about how you feel, she may not realize that she's not being a good friend to you. If you really feel you can't talk to her, you could still hang out with her and have a good time, just don't trust her with your secrets and emotions, and don't give her a chance to lay out her problems for you to solve. You are completely right in your decision.
2007-03-26 09:58:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a friend of yours. U could call her an acquaintance & let it go at that. I know it is really distressing 2 face up 2 this situation, however this relatonship if carried on in the same why will be even more destructive 4 u. Its easy for me 2 give advice but its up 2 u 2 choose urself. U have 1 life . Whatever u decide I wish u well. Be Happy.
2007-03-26 19:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that not being quite so available to her may make her realise what a valuable friend you are. If she doesn't realise, then you will be better off without her. I'm not saying cut all ties, just don't put all your energies into her friendship.
I have had many "friends" like this and when I become less available they have either drifted away or realised they have been a bit stand offish and made more efforts.
Unfortunately we all do this so many times and get burnt many times but we live and learn. It hurts but we learn and become stronger people for it.
Good luck. It sounds luck you are really good friend and she doesn't seem to deserve you.
2007-03-26 18:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by willowbee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. You cant keep being a doormat.
U have to put a stop to that. If u let ppl use u, their negative behaviour is reinforced & until u put a stop to it, they wont stop too!
There a loads of ppl like ur frd out there, and u dont need them.
Find good frds who care about u, are loyal to u,frds in time of need are frds indeed!
There are 2 ways ur behaviour can affect her.
She might see her wrong ways and try to correct them, in which case its going to be OK for u 2.
She might just not be bothered and thats OK for u too coz it'd be good riddance. That'd prove to u how unworthy of ur friendship she is/was!
2007-03-26 17:09:24 · answer #4 · answered by saltnsaffron 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the same thing has happened to me and let me tell you what happened. i made the same decision as you. i stopped being someone that my friend could take advantage of. i stopped being the last resort, the last person the hang out with when her new best friend was more important than me.
same thing with another friend im trying to deal with. it's hard not to hang out with her because she manages to find me and continue to walk all over me. not saying anything isn't working....
if you really want to stay friends with her but have some dignity, you need to talk to her...if you stop being available for her, you'll eventually stop talking out of spite, and finally you'll end up losing a friend.
tackle the real problem dont try to avoid it.
2007-03-26 18:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can speak from experience on this one. If she does not see you in the same light that you see her, this is not likely to change. Even so, only AFTER you make yourself unavailable as most people desire most what they percieve they can not have.
That is not what you want, as if you made yourself available to her again, she may again see you only as a another availble option.
I wish you much luck. Live for yourself. Love will come soon enough.
2007-03-26 17:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by Pixie Dust 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way - either she realizes what she's missing and makes you a priority, or you've made time in your life for someone else who will.
Good luck with that!
2007-03-26 17:41:25 · answer #7 · answered by Megs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have different needs in our life's from people and things, so if someone needs you more than you need them it isn't necessarily a bad thing it just makes us human really.
2007-03-30 10:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by kissaled 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't stop been your self kind and honest you are a inspiration to this friend you are strong don't let anyone change you because they are bad.or because they are weak stand up be tall and be you. a squeaky wheel always gets greased first
2007-03-29 09:30:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋