should i accuse someone of cheating without proof just because i over heard a conversation between my husband and my brother in law comparing me and my husband ex girl friend. what should i do.
2007-03-26 09:49:41 · 39 answers · asked by dimples 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont accuse anyone unless you have proof to back it up.
2007-03-26 09:57:01 · answer #1 · answered by momof3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask where “cheat” is involved in that conversation you overheard?
You said they were talking about comparing you and his ex. As far as I know I am free to compare my Wife with my ex and that does not involve cheating whatsoever.
Is it wrong to compare. I would say no, as long is kept to yourself. There shouldn’t be a reason to talk about it with nobody, even more if is about your wife and not just a girlfriend only.
But still, unless you hear something about cheating or that has to do with it, why would you think that? In fact, if that is the case, you must change that attitude as it seems you might be having “cheating” in your subconscious. So anything your husband does could make you think he is cheating when he is not.
Many people become obsessed with it and end up either cheating too or just fighting and divorcing. And the worse part, your husband is innocent and still is trying to figure out what was it that he did wrong.
Again, unless there is a real reason to think he is cheating or even thinking about it, don’t say anything and don’t keep those ideas in your mind.
If you are so concern, be honest with him and ask him. Being honest and understanding is part of being married. So you should tell him the truth, and he should be honest as well. If is something minor and without importance, then let it go. Otherwise, if you are very concerned about him comparing you with anybody, then tell him!
Hopefully, he will understand, and will not discuss your privacy with his brother or anybody else.
Good luck.
2007-03-26 10:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never make accusations without proof. Maybe you can very calmly talk to your husband about the conversation you heard. Even if you were not supposed to be listening, this is less dangerous than making an accusation. Let him know that this hurt you, and that it also made you suspicious. You want to trust him, but you also what to know what is going on. If you have other reasons to mistrust your husband, this might have been different, but if this is all, let it go with just a talk.
2007-03-26 10:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by Annabella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never be accusatory of what you may have heard. Let your eyes be your guide too. You'll find out more with your mouth closed & not asking questions. Store what you heard in the " memory vault" & just keep your ears & eyes open in the future. You have to have concrete evidence that he's cheating, like pictures, etc. That would entail hiring a detective & a device being put under the car to record where he's at. The detective will do this for you & is included in the price.
2007-03-26 09:57:40 · answer #4 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never accuse someone of anything alse you got proof
you never know he may have been complimenting you like your better in the sac then his ex. Anyways you shouldn't make any assumptions until you got something concrete like phone numbers, panties left around not yours?, strange cellphone numbers, coming home late from work often, making excuses all the time, not bothering you for sex or shows know interest.
These are just a few of the signs that you may want to look out for that may say someone is cheating.
God Bless and Best wishes.
2007-03-26 10:00:18 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hardest thing about relationships, in my humble opinion, is open healthy communication. I wouldn't "accuse" him. If it is something that will keep bothering you then I would mention that you inadvertantly overheard that conversation and tell him that it bothered you and see what he says. Then gently ask questions until you are satisfied. If you remain non-accusing, and gentle in your approach, and if he gets really defensive or trys to turn around what you are saying then I would be suspicious. In that event, I would just keep your eyes and ears open for other signs before accusing because once you start openly accusing someone, especially if it is wrongfully, then it can push the loved one away.
2007-03-27 03:37:46 · answer #6 · answered by Susan M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No because in the end you don't take what you hear and then put it to reality and have a big chance of either getting dumped or divorced. So really don't accuse someone when you didn't see them do it with YOUR own eyes.
Karma, karma, Karma.
That is all what can happen if you do accuse someone.
2007-03-26 09:54:49 · answer #7 · answered by astateson111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since it was two brothers having a conversation its a good chance they were having for lack of a better term "boys" conversation. My brother and I often have the cuff discussions in private and they are pretty harmless. After all nobody knows me better than he we shared a room for 11 years we like to talk trash unless you heard the whole conversation. Its probally brothers being brothers.
2007-03-26 09:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by snooching32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Accusing without proof does two things, it makes you look like your insecure and that you over react. Not only that... your only proof is that you eavesdrop.
So get over what you heard, or get some proof.
2007-03-26 09:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't make an accusation like that because if you are wrong, it will create a huge mess by itself. It was a conversation you weren't meant to hear, and you have exposed yourself to an ugly truth: We men can be childish and obnoxious at times.
2007-03-26 09:56:57 · answer #10 · answered by Paul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋