I don't have any family around me and don't know many of them because my mother has kept my father a secret all my life now I am married with two boys 3 and 4 and have been with someone who has been abusing me and I have been making excuses every time because Im scared. Outside of everything I have been the financial suporter for my children and care taker(he hasn't kept a job) During all of this I have lost my self worth and everything I owned material wise is now gone little by little. Right now as we speak I have nothing Including a job because while I was working he started to complain that he wanted to work so I said go ahead and one week into working I am treated back and told I wasted all his money I asked him for money to buy food and he gave me $60.00 and said I was not worth it. His mom is constantly calling and when i ask what is it about oh nothing but do you think she has ever whatched my children nooooooo. I dont know what to do I need enlightenment bigtime someone help.
2007-03-26 09:37:19 · 29 answers · asked by just tell me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
take your kids and go...u do not need him...u can provide -- u did it before now do it again
2007-03-26 09:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart what you need to do is to take your children and leave this relationship. He will not stop being abusive to you and eventually he will lash out at the kids. I was in this very same kind of relationship, I was sole support of our daughter, he didn't work on a regular basis and when he did work he thought his money should be his $. I left my $70,000 a year job, cashed out my $80,000 401K and we (as a family) moved, bought a house, lived off my money, when my money was gone (he got a job a year and a half after we moved) and what he gave me was $25.00, wanted to see the grocery list and you dare not come home without the receipt. My self worth and self esteem was so tarnished by his verbal degrading, his physical abuse and I had no family or friends within 1200 miles of where we lived. Forget about his mom calling, don't take her calls, focus on how you can get out of this relationship the quickest possible away. Your husband is a self centered selfish Pri_k and there is nothing you can do to change him. For the sake of your sanity, your safety and the safety of the children even if you must go in to a shelter for abused women it is better than the alternative. Once you are out of this relationship you will then again see the forest through the trees and see that you have made the right choice. I feel your pain and wish that I could be there to help you. Nobody knows this pain unless you have lived it. I want you to know that there is a life for you outside of this relationship and you need to take what little self esteem you still have and run with it and do not look back and think that maybe this could have turned around. It won't, it can't. Good luck to you and your babies.
2007-04-03 10:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by sunset 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, pick your self up and get yourself out. Scarred he won't let you go, sneak. Get yourself another job. If he's working nights you work days. Start stashing money away a little at a time in a place he'll never look (make sure even your kids don't know, they'll probably tell what your doing to make him happy). Save up enough for your deposit and rent for an apartment. When you have the money saved GO!
If that option doesn't work, make him a nice big breakfast, especially on one of those days when he feels the need to raise his hand to you again. Make a nice big pot of grits or oatmeal in the heaviest pot you have. When it's done poor that sh*t on his a** and when he wants to try to retaliate bash him one good time with that pot and see if he's not singing a different tune.
But i'd still suggest plan A .
2007-03-26 16:49:16 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said it time to get going, Sometimes change is the scariest thing in ones life. So if you want change go to Dept of welfare and get food, housing and health benefits and cash. Well since you both are unemployed you might already have.
There are two questions you must ask yourself.
1. Is this relationship helping me to grow and love and share .
2. Am I giving more than 50% to my relationship, by being and doing everything to please him while it costs me my self esteem and my children's right to have a function home life. This is very serious and for real he treats you this way because he is a looser and so are you UNTIL you change somethings in your life instead of (excusing) everything in your life for him. There are alot of places for domestic violence women and children. Get off your butt and give your children whats right. Hell you can come back in the future and find that same trash. Keep your head up
2007-03-26 16:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by styles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a womans shelter for abused women NOW. Things will only get worse. Only you can decide when to leave this beater boy but the sooner the better. What kind of an example are you setting for your little boys? That's it's OK to hit women? NO it is NOT!! Get out before it's too late. What's to say he might start hitting the kids next?
2007-04-01 20:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by jacicat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK! First of all he is not even close to being a man if he hits you.
Honey, I have been in an abusive relationship before and it never gets better.
You need to just get out of there.
One day or night when he is gone just pack what you have and get the hell out of there.
Because you never know. He might lose his temper one day really bad and then take it out on you and your kids. I am sure that you don't want that to happen.
I would let your mother know what it going on and then see if you can get in touch with your dad.
You need to get out of this relationship.
2007-03-26 16:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by Boo8081 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok!! You need to get out of the relationship. For the better
of you and your two boys. The first thing you need to do
is call the police. Its better to have him locked up than searching for you. Just remember that
you're a woman and most important you are a person
and he shouldn't have to be treating like a dog and please know that you are strong, smart, He 's gonna keep hittin on you if you don't do anything. And just know you're worth alot
he's not worth you loving him.
you'll be in my prayers, honestly
God BlessYou
2007-04-03 13:11:00 · answer #7 · answered by chris babeeboo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please find your local womens shelter and call them. This is a classic case of domestic violence and it will only get worse. They can help you get out of this relationship and build your self confidence up to move on with a fulfilling life. They offer counseling, emergency shelter, and help finding housing, jobs, legal help, etc. It won't always be an easy road back, but look at what you have now...and what you can expect in the future. He's a big loser-don't let him take you and the kids down with him.
Please call a shelter...Look up the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) to find a shelter near you. best of luck to you.
2007-04-02 12:13:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in that same position once, and I will never let some idiot do that to me again. In fact, I still have issues even after years of not being married to him (he committed suicide). I feel angry and I did not get to tell the bastard off. After I left, I was always scared of him finding me and killing me.
You need to leave and get some help. Your children see this, and they will grow up thinking that it is normal. That whole situation is bad, and after you leave, it may seem like it is worse than living with him, but it gets better, and you will be happy again.
2007-04-03 13:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by kmf77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take a deep breath and get up pack the kids up andyourself and leave go to a family member or friend, Show yourself and the world you are worth something, It will be hard but it will get better.
2007-03-31 08:07:56 · answer #10 · answered by Larry M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats wrong with you get some self respect and think about your kids. stand up for yourself get the hell out! wait till he leaves for work and pack up take everything you feel right to and go and dont look back ring a hot line your local police can give it to you...if he doesnt work then go to the police and tell them they are helpful and hate women beaters. think of your kids they will grow up with his habits and so the circle continues please get the hell out..at first it will hurt but the good news is the sun keeps shining and one day you will notice it but until you do it keeps rising up..if you stay your life may end,then the sun wont shine anymore and possibly for your kids too.sorry to be so honest but geez life is hard being a mum without his poo! you are a woman
2007-03-31 16:18:44 · answer #11 · answered by jo.joggers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋