Do I have the right to be upset? and ask questions? or am I over reacting?

Question

my husband has a habit of going out with his friends...ALOT, a year ago I had a suspicion that something more was going on, upon looking at phone records a series of numbers showed up constantly, and sure enough to find out..they belonged to two girls who were friends, he said it was because they were both interested in a best friend of his, after some arguments, I told him that I wanted no phone calls nor texts between him and them, and if there were, I wanted to be able to read them, we agreed, but now over a year later, I just happend to check the phone bill, and found their numbers...since the bills only go back 3 months I have no idea how long they have been in contact, he says he calls the one if he can't get in touch with his best friend because sometimes the guy is with her, however, his number doesn't show to be called when my husband and the girl contact each other, he says that the girls never go out when he and his friends do, but I don't know of calling people you don't se

Answer 1

Obviously this could go two ways, he may be on the up and up. If I was looking to cheat, I'd probably buy a disposable phone, why leave the paper trail. But then, your husband may not be that smart.

Anyway...., why don't you just go out with him and his friend. Meet the girls. They may be cool, you might even find some shopping buddies. If he starts to squirm when you bring up the subject, then something maybe up.

But, let's get to the root of the issue here, you don't trust your husband at the moment. To the point that you audit his phone and his phone bill (which I'm sure is absolute paradise for him). It sounds to me that need to address your insecurities with your husband.

Answer 2

First of all, you need to punctuate better so we can understand your sentences.
Secondly, read what you just wrote. Step back and read it as if you were someone else........it sounds like junior high stuff, not the situation a married couple should be in. What the heck is this nonsense?! Your husband out all the time with his friends and he's calling women and getting involved in their personal lives?! What is he 16?
He shouldn't even be out with his friends that much in the first place, and there is NO reason WHATSOEVER that he should be calling any women, whether their his friend's girlfriends, wives or mothers. You are not over reacting at all, this is bs. Tell your husband to stay the hell home where he belongs and act like a man. You should be doing things as a couple with other couples and that's it. Once in a while out with the guys is fine, but all this shady stuff that you aren't involved in......why would you tolerate such immature behavior? The first thing my husband would do if one of his friend's girls called him is tell her, "it's inappropriate for you to call me, if you need to find Tom Dick or Harry, dont' call me, I'm not his secretary." And ya know what, don't bother asking him and believing any excuse for those calls. Whatever he says, it's a bunch of crap. A good rule to remember in a marriage......if you're doing something you can't tell your spouse about, then you shouldn't be doing it at all!

Answer 3

He is full of crap. They always use that 'friend' excuse, like they are the only ones in the whole world with a cell phone. I would be pissed and honestly, sometime is going on and probably has been for a while.

Answer 4

if that's all it was, why didn't he tell you he had to phone them to get in touch with his mate. hes full of it, have you rang the girls and asked them whats going on because i would. but it sounds like he's playing around kick him out.

Answer 5

an ultimatum has to be given, either you want to talk and meet with everyone involved including the girls, or your done.... personally I think he is cheating, but it best to give someone the benefit of the doubt then go from there...

Answer 6

Do you ever go out with him? You should. You did right by challenging him, don't let nothing slip passed you.

Answer 7

Next time he goes out don't sit at home on your butt, get up and go out with him.

Answer 8

Yeah and DUH is your middle name!