My son is 18 and swears he is in love with this girl. No the baby is not his, because now the real father is being to step in and start trouble, which I knew he would. The girl is a very sweet girl, but my son could have anybody. Why this one. He met her when she was five months pregnant. Help.
2007-03-26 09:19:24 · 37 answers · asked by God Bless America 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Oh wow that is a ruff one! I understand you not wanting him to be with a women in her situation. I had a girlfriend that was pregnant and dating a guy ( not the dad) while pregnant. Even if she does not ask it of your son, he may feel like he "should" help her out with things when the baby is born. All I can say is that he must really like her, to be dating her while she is carrying another man's baby! You never know they may have something serious. Once she gives birth life will change a great deal for her. See how things go after the baby is born, if he sticks it out with after the baby is born, than most likely they are pretty serious. Just make sure your son does not do anything stupid like sign the birth certificate, this will make him legally responsible to the child. Good Luck
2007-03-26 09:29:10 · answer #1 · answered by Jm 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I just have to tell you that my husband now is a very wonderful man. Him and I got together when I was pregnant with my daughter. I knew him from high school and my brother. We started hanging out when I was 4 months pregnant. Then we started dating when I was 6 months pregnant. We got engaged when my daughter was a year old. He has played the role of her daddy ever since I was pregnant with her. He loves her like she is his own. We also have a daughter together. We got married 2 years ago and have been together 6 years now. I just have to say that it takes a real man to be with someone who is pregnant and not run away scared. It takes a real man to be the acting daddy when he isn't the biological father of the child and to love the child like his own. To bad there weren't more men out there like that. To bad many men leave there girlfriends pregnant and don't take any role in their childs life. Your son sounds like a wonderful young man. Don't interfere with there relationship. That will make you look bad and he might take off with her and not speak with you anymore. If he stays with her then just accept the child like it is your own grandchild. That is the best thing you can do. You can't change the fact that he loves her.
2007-03-26 10:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your a parent so of course you are concerned but you should also be proud of your son. He seems like a good guy and if he is looking past the fact that she is pregnant with a child that is not his then you should too. As long as he knows what is ahead of him and is prepared to take that on then you should support his decision and simply just be there for him. I was 18 when I meet my bf of 3yrs now and I had a 1 yr old old, it is possible for this situation to turn out okay and just from experience if he does end up with this girl long term and even marries her then get involved with they baby if your son is taking on the role then you should be supportive too.
2007-03-26 09:28:45 · answer #3 · answered by T 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I'm not in the exact same situation, but try to look at a few points.
As a mother, I understand why you wouldn't want him to be with her. I would not want my son to be with someone who had a child that was not his. Especially at 18! Try and find out why he is insistent on being with her. If it's "love" - you can't do much.
I do not think he should be with her, but just a point ...
I got pregnant when I was 17 and the dad ended up being a POS. I met a guy with everything going for him, great future, great family, etc. He had a lot of problems with my ex when we started dating. And his family (or myself) couldn't understand why he would "compromise" by being with someone who already started a family. But, we are both happy and have been for a long time. As expected, my ex eventually lost interest in causing problems. The guy I'm with is happy, loves me, and loves my son as his own.
I often feel guilty that he settled somehow. But, I know I try my hardest every day to make him happy and make our family whole and full of love and happiness.
If she is a nice girl who made a mistake - don't be too judgemental. She might make him happier than anyone else could. And that baby - his or not - might make him happier than anything else could.
I know how you feel as I would feel the same. But, if you can't do anything - accept it and look at the bright side. After all, if you ask anyone with adopted children - they would swear that you don't have to give birth to love a child as your own.
2007-03-26 09:29:44 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer74781 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sticky situation mom... this is one yucky place to be in. However, your son is 18 years old, and might be exercising his right of making his own choices. Maybe after she has the baby he might open his eyes a little bit-he will not only have to be there for her and the baby but also be willing to deal with the baby-daddy drama... which we all know leads to no-good! Lol... [Jerry Springer viewers would agree! Lol] He's 18, he should be hanging out with his friends and meeting all kinds of people... but then again, that's his choice! Sit back and enjoy the show mom, because the more and more you bicker at him, the more and more he'll turn away from you. Good luck.
2007-03-26 09:25:53 · answer #5 · answered by Edith 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
People can't choose who they fall for. If this girl is what your son wants then I would support him. I'm a young single mother, and nothing irritates me more than when someone's mom tells them I'm a bad person b/c I have a baby. As for the baby's dad, he will find out soon enough that there is nothing he can do unless the mom lets him. Support your son, and this girl. They probably need it right now.
2007-03-26 09:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I met my current boyfriend when I was 4 months pregnant and he has been here for my daughter and I through thick and thin. The baby's biological father was not there when I gave birth, my boyfriend was. He has been at every doctors visit with her and now she recognizes him as "daddy". Her biological father has visitation rights, but the little one realizes who has been here for her this whole time. That doesn't mean that your son will have to step up as a "father", but it takes a big man to step up and be there for someone in that situation. Love is love! Don't try to come in between that!
2007-03-26 09:32:17 · answer #7 · answered by xxtraci06xx 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He must feel like he can help her--that's a big part of why humans are attracted to one another and want to commit to one another. It sounds like he could get hurt, but if the other guy is a total jerk, then maybe not. If the girl is smart she'll stick with your son. But one question I have, is your son ready to be a father? He will be a major male role model in this kid's life.
2007-03-26 09:28:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to the girl as well. Seems like the baby daddy is going to give your son major trouble. I assume they had broken up before your son came in the picture. Being sweet is one thing and carrying someone else's child is another story, seems they are young!
2007-03-26 09:23:27 · answer #9 · answered by Claudia-Elena's Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im sorry about the trouble that will happen with the baby's father, but if ur son loves this girl, let them be. what would u do if u were in the same situation as the girl and ur boyfriend's mom said he couldnt date u? i mean seriously. i bet u would be pretty let down for that. if u want to feel better, talk to ur son make sure he knows what he is getting into by dating her. but other than that. let them be
2007-03-26 10:06:23 · answer #10 · answered by Lil mzz green eyez 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋