My boyfriend wants to buy another motorcycle and I don't want him to.?

Question

My boyfriend and I live together and we are talking about getting married. He has promised me we will be engaged by the end of this year.

Here is my problem: 4 months ago he sold his sport bike. He said it was too dangerous and he wants to not risk his life (like that) espeically since I am in his life now. Now, he is talking about buying another sport bike ($10,000). Not only do I not like the idea of him having a bike, but he is already $20K in debt with school loans and has a car payment. I am COMPLETELY debt free and have a large savings account. I want to buy a house after we get married and I don't want to have to pay for it all, plus have to take on paying whatever debt he has left. He wants to buy this bike and doesn't even have any money save for an engagement ring, and on top of that he says he will not pay more than $1,000 for a ring. I am not a greedy person, but does this seem odd?

Am I being unreasonable? Should I approve of him getting the bike? Advise, please!!!!

Answer #5: I know it is the symbolism that matters. What kind of message is he sending me, though?

Also, I know you can buy a wedding band for $600-800. I don't think you could buy a whole lot of an engagemnt ring for that price though. Not one with a diamond, at least.

Answer 1

First off if he isn't responsible enough to get himself out of debt.Before he adds new debt on.Don't marry him unless and until he straightens out.If you marry him now you could be responsible for his debt.Has for the bike you know this has nothing to do with the danger of riding a bike.It is the fact that he would be willing to put 10,000 in to a bike.And only 1,000 into a ring for you.I understand that a ring is a symbol of his love and at this point You feel like he loves a bike more than you.It isn't that he loves the bike more.It is that the bike is something he doesn't have.But he already has you.He is a man and they are all over grown boys.They want the toys they want when they want them and have no regard for the consequences.If having a home is a dream you have.Than go for it.You don't need him.You will have better chances of getting one with out him anyway.Because he has debt and if he debt is more than a certain percentage of his income.His debt to income ration will hurt you.So go buy a house for yourself and the family you want to have someday and don't put off your dreams for any man.If a man really loves you he will incourage your dreams not cause you to have to give them up.If you want to stay with him.Put the house in your name and tell him the way to make it both of yours is to pay half of the expenses.Live with him but put off the wedding until you can get him to get rid of some of his debt.Maybe if you went out and bought a house or condo or something and moved out and left him were he is.He would take you more seriously about the debt thing.Maybe he is to compfortable letting you be the responsible one.He probably likes having someone around who he knows won't let things go unpaid.That way he can spend his money on his toys.Scare the boy into reailty.Make him grow up and be responsible.If he loves you he will take the hint and straighten up.And if he doesn't than you won't waste you life and dreams on someone not worth it.

Answer 2

It doesn't matter if you want him to or not. He does not need your approval. You are not married. He's a "big boy" obviously and can do what he likes with his money, or credit, or whatever.
However, doesn't sound like you two are on the same page. Your first mistake is living with him. Your second mistake is planning what is going to happen in the marriage before you are even engaged. Your third mistake is thinking you can change him.
Solution: Move out on your own independently, live your own life. Keep dating him if you like, but don't get engaged until he is more responsible with money. If he doesn't smarten up, time to move on.
And, by the way, the average price for an engagement ring is $600 to 800. That buys a PLENTY nice ring! It IS the SYMBOLISM of the ring which matters, and a mature woman would know that.
You do have a LOT of money hangups, you know....

Answer 3

Maybe seem at it this manner. Maybe a month off if you'll be able to organize it? No experience in quitting your activity (despite the fact that it ain't a profession) and cruising across the nation with a dreamer. What occurs for those who get "with youngster"? Even bear in mind this, to get one other activity after the commute what might you assert was once your final employment? Why did you depart and what did you do. Do you assert you left your agency to trip across the nation when you consider that any individual had a dream? They'll believe you're a dream chaser and can not be in charge. Even at that, they're going to believe you effortlessly motivated and sweetness approximately your competencies of being relied on with expertise. Too a lot to believe approximately wasting in a yr lengthy trip. Take a month and notice a few websites. You must be lovely good off not to paintings for a yr and do not anything however trip the nation watching at stuff. My son went to Australia for a yr and has made up our minds it ain't what he was hoping for. He bought married and now needs to return again to the states when you consider that it's so high-priced and he can not continuously uncover paintings when you consider that he's a guest there. I say attempt to take a depart of absence and consider it out for a month.

Answer 4

Well, it's his money, so there's nothing for you to "approve of". If he wants to spend it on corn dogs, its his right to do so. This would be a different story if you were living together and he wanted the bike without paying his share of the bills.

So now it's up to you to decide if he's the type of person that will pay his share or just depend on you.

Answer 5

First of all, u cannot stop him from buying another bike. This should be a GREAT BIG RED FLAG to you for our marriage, if there is to be one. When two people do not agree on finances--big marriage trouble

Answer 6

First of all, he expects you to pay for the house. Just ncase you didn't already know that. and second, if you already have problems with him and your not married, you better get rid of him now.

Answer 7

He doesn't take your feelings into account now. This is something that will NOT get better with time.