My husband just admited that he cheated on me.We are going to try to work things out but, what if he really didnt tell the lady it was over and is just telling me he did. I just really need to talk to someone.He claims he only slept with her once and only meet her 4 weeks ago. He says he doesnt love her but he cares for her. How??How can you care about someone that you have only known for 4 weeks??? And how can i tell if he is still seeing her.
2007-03-26 09:09:33 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to have husband make contact with the other woman, with you present!
He needs to spell it out plain and simple to her that its' over for good!
You also need marriage counselor to help rebuild your marriage!
I been through this and trust me it's not going to be easy, but you can get through it!
It happen right after we got married, and I found out a year after it was over when I saw the two of them together at a party!
It almost lead to divorce, but instead we got marriage counseling and really worked on marriage!
we been happily married now 16 years, but sometime I do still get angry but I let it pass!
work on your marriage no or walk away, because either way you got a tough road to hoe!
Good Luck!
2007-03-26 09:30:53 · answer #1 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long does it take you to start caring about someone? I don't think 4 weeks is too short a time for that, especially considering they had sex, which is a very intimate act. If your husband wants to work things out, though, the fact that he cares about her is irrelevant -- he needs to break off all contact.
Sit down with your husband and have him tell the other woman again that it's over, this time in your presence. You get one phone and he calls her on the other one. Listen as he tells her. Then you'll know for sure.
2007-03-26 09:18:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well to even go back in your relationship, and say he cares for this woman how could you trust him at all? his total intentions should be about you and your relationship.... and maybe it was not for 4 weeks maybe it was going on longer than 4 weeks, just watch the cell bills, text messages, emails, him hiding things, and still lying about where he is, what he is doing, in my book once a cheater always cheater so be careful....
2007-03-26 22:23:31 · answer #3 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that he dosent care about her he might just be attracted to her.. but if you have all of this doubs the only person u are hurting is yourself. i think that if you have all of this questions then may be u are not really ready to forgive him. i would suggest for u guys to take a break and seee where that leads. it will give u enought time to think what u want to do and let him reflect what he has done and how it has affected u. by taking a break u can find out if u are really prepared to forgive him or not.. because he wasent thinking about u when he cheated with someone else
2007-03-26 09:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... if you REALLY want to know, you can hire a private investigator to follow him (or a sneaky friend I guess). You could also check his phone for calls and msgs from her. And unless he takes a lie detector test you'll never know for sure. I personally would never believe it was "just once" though if he told you its because its over for real, or he was scared to get caught. If you love him and believe you can trust him try therapy. If he refuses to go.. go alone cause you dont need a lying cheating scumbag like him.
2007-03-26 09:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't tell if it is over but you can try to work things out. During the time you are working things out, you can tell him that you wonder if he can be trusted. See what his answer is. Perhpas he really is contrite. Try to find out his reason for cheating.
He can consider your attempt to work things out a second chance for the marriage. One thing worth discussing is whether there can be a third chance.
2007-03-26 10:04:22 · answer #6 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the affair has going on for more than 4 weeks. I find it hard to care for someone so soon. Dig deeper into this. He needs to answer ALL of the questions you have. He needs to gain your trust back. If he's sincere, he'll do anything.
2007-03-26 09:20:02 · answer #7 · answered by princessapplez 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, RUN to a clinic and get yourself tested for STDs and HIV/AIDS. Don't sleep with him til you get these test results, then the re-test results in three and six months.
Bad men don't care how long they are seeing someone - whatever and whomever strokes their ego is all they care about. It has nothing to do with you. Interesting that you used the pic with the family....
2007-03-26 09:39:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sounds to me someone trying to get laud off of their chest while some else deals with theirs.your husband cheated so tell the only word he might understand .hit the road jack.
2007-03-26 09:16:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's stinks. He should be so remorseful at doing this that there should be no doubt in your mind if he is still seeing her or not. If he isn't THAT remorseful then maybe he is still seeing her. I wish you luck if you continue to work on your relationship. I am not sure I would have the patience that you are exhibiting.
2007-03-26 09:13:35 · answer #10 · answered by Devdude 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋