My husband of 7 years is working to become one of the fine men of LAFD, it's the first thing in a long time that he has really wanted & been excited about; for me not so much, I believe in being a supportive wife so I have been trying to "fake it till I make it" in terms of REALLY wanting this for him; I do all of the wifely supportive things, works of encouragement, helping schudle EMT classess, smiling and telling him that I am happy for him and proud of him (which is 100% true).
For me this means a move 500 miles, leaving my job that I LOVE which I have invested 2 masters degrees to get, and being ALONE with our 3 kids under 4 years old AT LEAST 12 days a month. I am terrified that this is a sentance to a lonely life, with no friends and an absentee husband.
I am so proud to have a husband that wants to be of service, I want my support to be whole hearted.
Is this the way the life of a firefighter wife is?
What are the pro's/ con's?
Are you happy? your children?
2007-03-26 09:06:38 · 12 answers · asked by perfection1908 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a soon to be ex wife of a firefighter. My divorce is not stemming from his being a ff. I will tell you this that he was a ff before we met. I joined the department to see him and to serve my community. But you will not be alone. You also will make friends from him being in the dept. the other wives or gfs of the other guys will become your family and support system. Keep going with your degrees. Just dont give up .I was happy even when I could go to the dept. I have 2 teenage boys that were bought up in the dept. They know just as much as I do about firefighting.It comes a big family once you join a dept. I hope that things work out for you.
2007-04-02 03:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by lz_adam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is not a paid firefighter but is a volunteer in our community. He has often thought about applying for a position in another county some 100 miles away. We have some close friends that already have a career there and they get along just fine. Usually they are on for 24 off for 24. The schedule really isn't that bad if you think about it. I guess you have to weigh out the pros and cons. Could you possible find another job doing what you do now just in another place. I don't think that you will be lonely, with no friends, join a health club, enroll the kids in a center for daycare or other activities so that they can interact and you may find friends within that setting as well. He is doing a wonderful thing so many people take for granted that they do it for the money, mine doesn't at this time and if and when that time comes, I know that it won't be doing it for the money its for the sake of other people.
2007-04-03 04:27:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a completely different lifestyle, but it's not a bad one. Sure, your husband will be gone every third day, but then he's home for two days straight :)
I find that I can pack a whole lot of time together in those two days.
My boyfriend and I are both paramedics. I work 24 on and 48 off, and he works 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.
It's not a sentence to a lonely life. There are lots of other firefighter's wives who are happy to bring you into their fold.
Hope this helps...
2007-04-02 11:08:04 · answer #3 · answered by rita_alabama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, yes it is the wife of a man in service. The great part is that on his salary, you can become a SAHM and have a greater part in raising your children! They are such babies, yet, that that will be wonderful. It IS hard to move somewhere where you won't know anyone, but you will meet his co-workers wives and families, as well as just people from the community.
It is totally easy to be happy as a wife and mom, because supporting your husband is what it is all about. Having a secure and stable family is of the utmost importance. That means sacrifice, not being selfish and certainly not thinking of yourself. Time to mature and LOVE being a supportive wife and wonderful mom! Good luck to you...
2007-03-26 09:46:16 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was an army brat and moved around constantly. It wasn't that bad, it was actually pretty fun. Then I joined the army, got out, and now I'm married to an army guy. Pretty much my entire life I have moved every couple of years. There's nothing wrong with change. It's actually refreshing to move every three or so years. New people, new places. It can be fun. It is what you make of it. Instead of being angry with him, be happy that you married a man who wants to be something special. It takes guts to be a firefighter. My husband is in Iraq right now and I have to be alone with the kids for 18 MONTHS. Instead of complaining, think about people who have it worse, and we still manage. You can get a new job, I'm sure your masters degrees won't go to waste. If you can't accept his choice of career then you need to start thinking about divorce. Don't tell him not to follow his dreams because you don't like them. He will resent you for something like that.
2007-03-26 09:21:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as a service member, wife and mom....
I use to have to leave my kids so often, but when I was home I spend a lot of time with them talking and getting to know them and their lives. The kids I think will be fine as long as he puts as much energy into being a dad when he is home as he does as a fire fighter while he is away. This also holds true as a husband. As for you job, and moving that is a hard pill to swollow, but thousands do it and who knows it may be a positive move for you. If your truly proud and happy for your husband,,,,support him 110% don't just fake it. First thing is first you need to talk to him and be honest with him, he may have some words that may ease your worries.
Good Luck
2007-03-26 09:16:23 · answer #6 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me first tell you that my fiance is in Iraq for the 3rd time since the war started...He is currently deployed and just received orders for an extension....so he will be gone 1 1/2 yrs....I would gladly take him being away 12 days a month then a 1 yr +, with exceptions of a 2 week R&R.....Maybe moving will be a good thing....change is always good....and you need to tell him exactly how you feel...dont fake it.....tell him the good and bad things of how you feel....he wont know unless you tell him....has he been by your side for everything else?
2007-03-26 09:17:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a firefighter has many perks one of witch is being home for two or three days at a time !
Your job, is a hard one but may I ask why would you even consider it if you were happy with it ?
You marriage will be a great one because it looks like there mother believes in family first!
Your a great woman, mother wife!
2007-03-26 09:14:54 · answer #8 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to bloom where you are planted....so if you have to move to another location, make a wonderful life for yourself and children at that location. Don't sit and pine and whine about it. The problem is we are always afraid of the unknown. You may find out down the road that this was the best thing that ever happened to you. So, keep up a good attitude and again, bloom where you are planted.
2007-03-26 09:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in a good and loving marriage, then you will survive all the downfalls this job seems to have, (in your eyes) Marriage is a give and take relationship, and it seems y'all have it pretty together up to this point. You;ll continue to be okay. No body likes change , but you will find a way to adapt, and you will make friends. The crime &fire figting community is always close. Wish I could say more, but its your nerves causeing all this , once you get settled you'll work it all out and be fine.
2007-03-31 05:02:53 · answer #10 · answered by mssgtmidnight1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋