Okay last night me and my baby father was talking on the phone and in the middle of our conversation he says when the born is the baby will stay with him for three out of the week. Now me as mother i do not feel like i should have to go over his and see my own child. we are not married. and i told him this. (i shouldnt have to go over his and see my own child). and he gets mad. now this has done nothing for me at all he calls me selfish and threathen me verbally. I am 30 weeks pregnant he hasnt help me with anything thats has to do with the baby. he says the baby doesnt need anything untill he comes home but, i know as a women that a baby needs more then just one outfit and some booties. he dont think abot dental appt. doctors.appt. and etc. all he thinks about is getting jiont custody and having the baby live with him.so he told me he will se me in court i love my son and i want what is best for him. am i wrong for not wantin our son three days with him?
2007-03-26 09:04:26 · 11 answers · asked by sweetheart85 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I do work and so does he it not like i dont want him apart of my childs life i just want him to understand were i am coming from as a mother who carry the baby for nine months. i am a the stage now were i can hardly walk because my feet are so swollen, and always feel faint and dizzy because iof high blood presure carry a baby dont come easy to everybody.
2007-03-26 09:24:08 · update #1
As soon as your baby is born (on the way home from the hospital) go to your local court clerk and request the paperwork to file for full legal custody. File for child support while you are at it too. Most states do not automatically give custody to anyone, custody is something usually aquired during a divorce. A single mother does not have custody of her child until she asks a judge to grant it. Do not allow the father to take the child for visits if you feel he will not return him. If he takes the child and you do not have custody then law enforcement cannot make him return him.
The father will have the chance to file for custody as well, but do not worry it is only fair. He will also have the opportunity to file for visitation. Filing for custody is first come first serve, beat him to it. He will not be given full custody unless he is able to prove that you are an unfit parent or that you are not meeting the childs basic needs.
It also does not hurt to ask your local social services for help. Children and Youth or Child Protective Services will be able to help you once the child is born. They did this for me when i feared that my daughters father would try to make me look bad. He tried and the courts knew he lied.
As for visitation, the courts can help decide how much time is appropriate and when and where visits should be held.
2007-03-26 09:51:51 · answer #1 · answered by veruca_psycho 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong. I'm not sure of the court system where you live but check into what his legal rights would be. I think 3 days would be a lot. Especially a new born. Is your boyfriend supporting you at all?
And you are so right. A new born .any baby needs a LOT of diapers when they come home and lots of onesies since we're headed towards Spring & Summer. Baby soap baby shampoo. Hopefullty there is some family that can help you.
Make sure you speak to an atty. about your rights as the Mother
2007-03-26 09:17:51 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Nana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the beginning, it will probably be easier for you and the baby to be together - especially if you are breast feeding. However, there's no reason he can't be involved during that time. He can come over during the day to help, spend the night to help with night-time feedings, etc. It seems he wants possession of the baby - but is he really willing to put in the money, time, and effort (physical, mental and emotional) it takes in raising a child?
If you are both thinking of what's best for your baby, and not thinking of yourselves, then you should be able to work sometime out. Otherwise, talk to someone (social worker, lawyer, etc) and know your rights as a parent.
Good Luck!
2007-03-26 09:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mimi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong because your a mother and you want to have your time with the baby to and what the father has to realize is that it's not just his baby it's yours to . Say for instance if the baby has to go to the hospital in the middle of the night is he going to be willing to get up and take the baby because if his not he just needs to leave the baby with the mother and came over and vist.
2007-03-26 09:13:02 · answer #4 · answered by Monique 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of that's an exceptionally sturdy question to assist people bear in mind and perchance artwork by using some formative years themes.i urge anybody to respond to and start up residing as seperate beings from the folk who created them.i became abandoned myself and lived with a differant relative each 3 hundred and sixty 5 days till marriage on the age of 14.i'm no longer bitter and don't blame my moms and dads for a manner I became out.I even have not got self assurance in information.you do no longer must be the way your moms and dads have been.you will possibly be beneficial or damaging with the help of utilising figuring out on.I do say assembly my mom at age 12 replaced my existence negatively yet after some years I realised i ought to enable bypass of the discomfort and be the guy i wanted to be.
2016-10-01 12:49:41 · answer #5 · answered by lieser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you are not married, he has no legal right to your child whatsoever. DON'T HAND OVER YOUR BABY TO HIM. Tell him that if he wants to see the baby then he can do so through the courts. See him fork out his money then!! If he starts making trouble for you or your baby don't hesitate to call the police and have a restraining order put on him.
2007-03-26 09:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by VodkaChick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well just go to court, and they will decide, you keep saying your the mother wich is true but he is also the father and has ties to the child as well. Surly there is a compromise, weekends with him perhaps?
Or fight it out in court and try for full custody but make sure this is what you want to shut your babys father out.
Good luck to you
2007-03-26 09:11:04 · answer #7 · answered by Katy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why people should be married before they have children. While I agree with you about wanting to be with your baby, did it ever occur to you that it is his baby too, and he has as much right to spend time with it as you do? Why should he have to go over to your house to spend time with his own child? You really need to talk to a lawyer now and get the custody issue settled before the baby is born.
2007-03-26 09:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by kat 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The courts will settle visitation rights, and know that unless you are a terriblly neglectful person, you will likely have custody of your baby. Let the BabyDaddy threaten all he wants. He probably is just trying to psych you out.
2007-03-26 09:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no you are not wrong if hes not showing much interest in helping now how is he gonna look after the kid when its here?
its a good thing though, that he wants to be a part of his childs life........ so many men dont, but personally, i dont think its a good idea for a kid to have to 'move home' twice a week it dosent seem very practical either
2007-03-26 09:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋