Improving relationship with Son??

Question

I have a 3 year old son and to be honest I don't think it would matter if I was about or, he's not interested in me.

He is so attached to his mum, Like he cries looking her first thing in the morning, he cries looking her when she goes to work, he has never once cried looking me.

He stays at his grans during the day as we both work but he never wants to come home, he follows his grandad everywhere, its like my wifes Dad is his father figure, And when he does come home in the evening he falls asleep, I see about 30min of him in a day.

Weekends is the same, he wants to go to grandads and he screems until he gets. Infact he even gets on with my wifes brothers better than me, he honestly is not interested in me. I try playing with him, buy him toys but again hes not interested.

What am I doing wrong? My wifes pregnant and due in 2 wks, I hope this isn't gonna be the same as him

Answer 1

Don't give in to him at the weekends - you should be spending time with him so he can get to know you. Don't say "you can't go" but say you are taking him somewhere fun as a treat - then take him somewhere fun even if it's just feeding the ducks at the park. Once you start hanging out with him more - he'll want to be with him. Make sure you read him a bedtime story every night as that is a really close & happy time. He does love you & would miss you if you weren't there - promise.

Answer 2

Honest answer? You need to spend more time with him. If he goes to his grandparents every day, and you see him at the end of the day, when he is tired, no wonder he is upset. He hardly knows you. And weekends of course he wants to go to his grandparents, he feels safe and secure there. Perhaps you and your son, and the grandparents could do stuff together on the weekend, so he gets to know you again, but with his grandparents there for support.
Don't try buying him toys, he will see through it for the ploy it is, your time will be far more important to him than toys.
You may find once the new baby arrives, he will give you more attention, simply because his mother is going to be really occupied with a new baby. Taht may lead to jealousy issues, so be sure to include him in everything, and spend some time just with him, without the new baby around.

Answer 3

Sometimes children can feel something from adults. Have you spent time with just the two of you? is your wife encouraging the relationship? you will have to start being a bit assertive, because after all he is your son.
Are you feeling insecure in your role as a father? Try taking some parenting classes. but above all you have to show him that you love him. He is only three, and Grandparents have a way of letting grand children get away with a lot. That's the good part of being a Grand parent. Take an instant role with the new baby, start holding him/her, really bond with this child.

Answer 4

Don't feel too bad. This is more natural than you think especially since he's a boy. When my cousin was your son's age he pretty much behaved the same way and got jealous when his dad hugs his mum etc. It's just that 'man' thing, nothing personal towards you. You should, however, try to voice your concerns to your wife so you can both work towards getting your son to warm up to you more. But, remember it's not 'you' it's just nature.

Answer 5

You only see him 30 mins a day, so he only sees you 30 mins a day, and it happens to be the time when he is getting tiered.
So I suppose it is possible he just doesn't seem to notice you, to him that 30 mins is a fleeting moment.

Can his day be changed, I mean if he gets an afternoon nap, a bit longer and he'll still be awake when you get in, giving you time to get to know each other. I know it's normally the other way round, keep them up so they sleep all night, but actually wouldn't you be happier if he did wake up later at night, so you can get him used to your voice, teach him that playing with you is fun.

At weekends, when you have more time, don't give in to him going to grandads, teach him that it is fun staying with you, play with him on the floor, anything he wants to play, but supply multiple ideas to keep the play going. He will learn that you are fun.

Answer 6

Ah sweetie, its okay! I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old and sometimes it seems like my son (2 year old) adores my mother more than me...and my mother and i are SO NOTHING ALIKE! in fact, we dont even get along.

Its a stage sweetie. They are attached to their mommies for a while until they get a little older. My hubby takes him outside to play when he gets home and plays with him He wrestles with him and so forth...he reads to him etc. This is the way they bond.

As for grandparents, dont you know the secret yet. LOL. Grandparents SPOIL them thats why they love going there so much and follow them around. My son does the same thing with my parents. ITS CRAZY!

Now my new little guy, seems like he HATES my mom. But he likes my dad.

There is more to interacting with them than buying them things and so forth. You have to play with them, wrestle with them, read to them...do things he likes to do. But make it habit EVERYDAY or it wont work. IT will take him a while to get used to it but eventually he will come around be excited to see you to when you are gone!

I hope everything goes well with your wifes delivery and hope things get better for ya soon!

Answer 7

I agree with FC above,for a start,little boys are always closer to mum,little girls to dad,.

When he gets a little older he will be close to you but you need to work at it,you cant just take it for granted.

You need to spend as much time as you possibly can with him and make it fun,take him to the park for a kick about with a ball,play in the garden,roll about on the floor with him,he needs to learn that daddy is fun.

Bath him at night so you spend some fun time in the bathroom,and then read him a story,it will come, but as I say,only if you work at it.

Answer 8

u need to spend 1 on 1 time with him weather he likes it or not and don't u or your wife give into him he is the child not the adult he knows your gonna give into him thats why he keeps doing it , it may sound alittle hard but it should get better and when your wife has the baby she will need all the help she can get and he proberly won't like the new baby if he's so clingy with his mum now goodluck

Answer 9

You answered your own question honey? You see him only for 30 min a day. That for a kid that age means 30 years. Its amazing. He does not even know who you are. But he certainly knows whom his grandparents are. Especially when they are the ones whom know what he does good or bad. Spending time with him is the cure to solving this problem. You have to improve it otherwise he is going to find that love somewhere else you will regret later. GANGS!

Answer 10

Don't worry too much, i'm sure when the new baby comes he will have his nose put out of joint a bit, as you wife will have to divide her attentions..........try to take over putting him to bed and getting him up in the morning......maybe while your wife is in the hospital you can spend as much time as possible with him....ignore his crying and just take him everywhere with you....he can't cry all day and night.....let him get over it!