O.K.-I've been married 17yrs.,I'm pretty good looking(not vein!)yusta be called barbie in my day-not THAT long ago-I'm 40 now, but still look young-My husband will put me down in way's, like "your an idiot,say's"dit!" when I try to talk to him sometime's,I'm not stupid,wrong to be treated this way-but, for the last 4months, I've been ill, w/ a prolapsed uterus&bladder&Endometriosis(very painful)He drink's(I don't, anymore), & last nite he pop's up w/ (out of the blue) about how I don't put"love" into dinner,maybe I should get a girlfriend!(God help him,if he did!) Duh! we have'nt had sex,Can't, but, (I'm a mom/housewife)if he'd have got a job w/ Insurance I would'nt have to wait 'yill JULY!! for a hysterectomy! I'm realizing he's alway's been a taker NOT a giver, I have! i GUESS i'M ASKING, Are there still any men out there who are'nt so SELF absorbed?? & what do you think of a person like this-seriously??
2007-03-26 08:49:58 · 12 answers · asked by mgle3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A husband has to be supportative for and with his
wife at all times. Because of your present health
issues now is the best time for your husband to
be supportive to you. My wife had health issues for
a long period of time but I was there for her and
now that she is back to being healthy I enjoy her
even more because I appreciate her being with
me. I can't say how your husband is as you should
already know, only thing is let him know that
you need him to be supportive of you as you are
for him and sometimes men just think about them-
self and forget that the wife has needs also. It's
hard to tell you what to do as being a wife some-
times when they do not have the support of the
husband then maybe that should tell you some-
thing about what your husband is all about. Just
have a talk with him and let him know that you want
his support to help you get through your health
issues as you still want to be for him what you
been for him but right now you are restricted be-
cause of your health, and if any husband can't
understand that then in my opinion the wife deser-
ves better. Good luck.
2007-03-26 17:21:39 · answer #1 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there are men out there aren't self absorbed. Not to brag, but I think I'm one of them. I work full time, do at least half the cooking, do my own laundry most of the time, vacuum the house about twice a month, clean the kitchen almost every night, unload and reload the dishwasher 99% of the time, I try to spend time with my kids and be there for all of their things they participate in at school (they're in HS). I have a pretty good paying job with benefits and I'm fairly successful in my career.I'm not perfect by any means but I'm a heck of a lot better man than my wife thinks I am. She thinks I'm nothing.
There truly are men out there who would appreciate and treasure you. You just had the misfortune to get stuck with a real turd of man. I'm sorry. The only thing I can think is that you need to sit him down and talk with him and explain how he makes you feel when he says those things to you. If he doesn't get his act together, maybe you should leave him. I know that would be hard and it would take courage but sometimes leaving is the only way.
I feel for you, I really do Take care, good luck and God bless.
2007-03-26 20:19:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've got a real LOSER, for a husband. This is a man answering your question. When a man marries he takes on an equal. not a door mat. His first concerns should always be for her, and the child, or children. Whether he realizes it or not it will affect the children, just like it has affected you.
I was married 33 years, until my wife was killed in a car accident. She was my world. My children were grown, and we moved to the South so she could be with her family. It was something I wanted to do for her after 30 years of living near my family up North. She always came first.
2007-03-26 16:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by lariat_sonata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't cotton to being called names or being put down very well. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, so I know how it starts out like little digs, and then develops into full disrespect.
Take control of your life and stop being a victim. I would just move out or kick him out (whichever is more feasibly permanent) if I were in that situation.
2007-03-26 16:19:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think these issues are a part of marriage life. Such kind of issues are 90% common with this dialogue "I will find a new gf" approximately 99% used. It is used just to let you know how important and precious he is for you and he is seeking your attention. Dont worry he is not going anywhere. Treat him special and try to make him happy.
2007-03-26 15:59:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok....ill give you my situation and then asnwer your question. Ive been married for 6 years and have three wonderful children. I married a woman, who for all her beauty and intellect, is a very anal-retentive controling person. Keps telling me that, that i married her that way (as if to say because i did, that makes it right). She constantly puts me down. Verbal abuse is a daily ritual and she justifies it by saying that its because of me. That i make to do it because i dont do whats she wants, when, how much...ect. Makes me feel stupid and worthless...and theres your key.
There are a group of people out there, that feel better about themselves by putting down others. They somehow rise their own low self esteme by putting down yours. I married one of those people. Oh...when company is over or i do what she wants me to do she is very nice, but cross her and she attacks me as if i have killed someone. WE dont even sleep on the same floor anymore because she likes things the way she wants them...and takes, takes, takes, takes untill i have nothing left...and before she leaves me tells me i dont pay enough attention to her.
Your question....are there any men out there who arent so self absorbed..yes, but they are probably married to women who are just like your husband.
My advice...and its some im starting to take. Think about yourself...what you need. What you want out of life. BECAUSE you are on this earth only once. You have to make it count. Life is way too short to be unhappy for as long as we both have been.
I wish you well
2007-03-26 16:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is very important. You need to sit down with him in a very serious manner and discuss your feelings about his comments, etc. If things don't work, then you should reflect on what is most important for you in this situation.
2007-03-26 15:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by marcusromus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem isn't him, it's you. You need to either stop letting him treat you like this or leave him.
Fix yourself, forget about him.
The fact that you think it's him with the problem, means you are the self absorbed one. Think on that one.
2007-03-26 15:56:18 · answer #8 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a husband of 25 years:
He ain't worth your time. Dump the pri**.
2007-03-26 16:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by geezerrex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like the problem here is not enough sex...sorry but men get real cranky when wifey poo doesn't put out...yes he may be looking elsewhere...doesn't matter how good looking u are -- if hubby isn't getting sex he isn't getting it from his good looking wife and he will choose to look elsewhere....sex is sex...and men and women need it...sounds like u don't want or need it, but it sounds like hubby does...hope it all works out for ya'll in the end
2007-03-26 15:56:19 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋