You sit there looking at me
I stare back deeply at you
Some say that we should be
Some say that we have no clue
We always hang out together
We always talk on the phone
We find a way to have fun no matter what the weather
I can't live without you not on my own
We share just about anything we have
Most times when your gone it makes me sad
I give everything I have and take everything you gave
When you leave me alone it makes me just so ****** mad
I know deep down inside I have feelings for you
I think about our favorite song and dance to it
I wonder sometimes do you feel the same way too
When we first met we use to do some silly ****
We would not even look at each other
I look away as soon as you turned your head
It's really ashamed we never got the time to really no one another
But hey that's what life does sometimes and now I'm goin to be dead
You should've said yes when I asked you out
I loved you at first with all my heartI didn't have to rethink my desicion there was no doubt
Until you broke my heart you were a peice of beautiful art
2007-03-26 08:22:22 · 11 answers · asked by AdvicefromLadyC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
9 out of 10. It would've been perfect if not for some spelling and grammar stuff... sorry, i'm a stickler.
Some comments : (1) don't kill yourself over some dude, no one is worth your life (2) you should write more, you seem to have some natural talent. Just need to smooth out the rough edges grammar-wise. (3) There are other pieces of art out there just waiting to be discovered by you... give yourself time.
2007-03-28 06:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by cardpackrat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey!! You seem to have been deeply wounded in love. I'm really sorry to hear that. And trust me...I understand...Cuz even I have a very sorrowful story to tell you...its not that easy to heal the broken heart...but must tell you...you can become a great poetess one day...if you are a victim in love then don't you worry...everybody has to compensate for their actions...that person would surely repent one day...
And...you've written a lovely poem! I give you full 10 on 10...Wish you all the luck!! May God Bless You!!
2007-04-03 08:06:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its a very nice poem and love hurts and im sorry that she hurt u. it get that u can write about it, its the best way to heal from a broken heart. i know cuz that is what i have done in the past. keep writing its great. i give u a 10 out of 10
keep up the work writing is very wonderful. i still write but not as much as i use to. its great. dont stop writing ever.
2007-04-03 05:06:46 · answer #3 · answered by jazmine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd supply it approximately an 8ish 9 at maximum. Is it achieveable to characteristic a sprint greater? i truly think of you additionally could make it a ten in case you place a sprint greater stuff into it, ya recognize what im asserting?
2016-10-01 12:44:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shows deep true feelings. I rate it 10 for message and honesty. Keep on feeling and writing.
2007-04-02 02:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by radar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give it a 10 for talent and writing...I hope your not completating about killing youself over a guy though...I would say that you have amazing talent though...Keep up the writing...You seem to have a very creative mind...Keep it up...
2007-04-02 19:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by Fallen to Serenity 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was an 8. I dig it, it was deep. Keep writing and you can improve to the point where people cry when they read your words...
2007-04-03 08:24:18 · answer #7 · answered by CoCo Queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9; need spellcheck sweetie.
2007-04-03 06:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG...that is really good....did you write that yourself? I give it a big fat juicy 10......
2007-04-03 06:36:41 · answer #9 · answered by Cyndi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, pretty intense. I like it. But no dieing please, no dead. OH I rate it a 8.
2007-04-03 08:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by Reckless 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋