I love my fiance so much. we want to move in together get married and have kids. but right now we both arent finicially ready for that. but we want it so bad. we have been going out for almost 3 years now. It just seems to get harder and harder for us not living together. and we want a kid. we would have one now but we want to raise it good. get it good things.. we see all these people around doing that seem worse off then we are. we have no real debt or anything but we just cant figure it out.. I dont know what to do. does anyone have any suggestions?? Please help.
2007-03-26 08:16:23 · 17 answers · asked by ashely b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You don't say how old you are - but you can either get into debt to do what you want now - or wait. Those people you see doing what you want to do are probably in debt. There is no stigma these days to being in debt - but be careful it doesn't spiral out of control if you decide to go down that road.
2007-03-26 08:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be married to move in together. In fact, I think that moving in together is something people should do atleast for a year before they get married. This gives you the chance to really get to know your partner, and to develop a foundation for your family. I think you should wait till the right time to have a baby. There are alot of things to consider, financial stability, job stability, good health insurance, maturity, emotional stability, child care if you both work, and alot of other factors. Sure, people have kids even when they're not ready but I bet they all wish they would have waited until everything was in place. You shouldn't rush, enjoy your relationship and things will happen at the right time.
2007-03-26 15:24:20 · answer #2 · answered by lovin' life... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can move in together and that will cut down on half the bills. If that works then get married. Enjoy being married then have kids. I don't think anyone is ever ready financially to have children. If you want children and you will love them and always put them first go for it. Raising them has more to do with being a good person and loving them then it does money. You will figure out the finances somehow. Good luck
2007-03-26 15:26:17 · answer #3 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only advice I can give is make sure it is what you both want, think of all the pros and cons. Maybe you can afford the wedding if you do something small like in courthouse or family house. (plus do a lot of the plans yourself and make the center pieces or enter some type of wedding contest)Check for resources in your local community to help with the baby stuff and make sure he/she is committed to sticking by you. You definitely need to have good health insurance and some money save for incidentals. Because you have to consider doc visits, formula, clothes, shots, baby seat, strollers, and also the emotional toll in take on a relationship. Furthermore the physically toll it takes on the mother's body and the financially piece the older they get more it cost but a lot of people have children w/o $ but are you sure you want to be one of those people. It is difficult when want something so bad. Talk 2 ur family are they willing to help. Moreover are you emotionally, physically and spiritually ready for this lifestyle. Lastly, find good job with benefits and Good luck in whatever decision u make
2007-03-26 15:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by Alone/Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for love there is no bounderies and if you both are sure that you guys are in love then there is no reason why you guys should not live together and about having a baby now that is something you should think about and talk seriously. Being a parent is a hard task but at the same time its a blessing and wonderful gift to have. Hope this helped a bit.
2007-03-26 15:22:56 · answer #5 · answered by MOUSE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about you two recording what you two purchase/spend on for a couple of months and just figure out where the money goes to?
Then decide if what you spend money on is really important or you can give it up. Once that's done, open an account whenever you two feel like wanting to spend on useless stuff, deposit the money into that account and start saving for a while.
A child is such a huge responsibility I know a woman who could go for months without buying herself anything, and all the money goes to her now 7 months old daughter!!
It requires a good, strategic sort of planning.
2007-03-26 15:24:33 · answer #6 · answered by peachy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would suggest thinking about what kind of jobs u have and what ur salary is and how much money u each get a week or month or whatever.it might be easier if u both move in together that would make u have more money since instead of paying 2 house payments or rent fees u can split the costs making it easier on u guys.i would also save as much money as u can.i hoped i helped ya even if it was just a little.
2007-03-26 15:26:29 · answer #7 · answered by crazy_for_naruto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you guys should wait until you both feel comfortable emotionally and financially to move in and have kids. It souds really great that you both want this and are all positive about want you do want but don't rush it , cause you might just end putting a strain on your selves to try to accomplish that which you are not ready for. Not right now at least,.
2007-03-26 15:23:50 · answer #8 · answered by Viaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get married and have a family now, kids have a way of changing people's priorities. You may think that it's not financially possible at the moment but when that baby comes you and your spouse will find a way.
2007-03-26 15:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by insert name here <--------- 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
moving in together isn't going to make things easier & neither will having a kid. sounds like you need to both set up a budget & have some concrete goals in mind. rushing into anything is going to put stress on your relationship, life doesn't have to move right now to make you a couple
2007-03-26 15:21:53 · answer #10 · answered by ms_debbieg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋