I found a path away from here,
would it bring sorrow or cheer?
I took that road,
I took that risk,
and came apon a place
more magical than this.
I still do not know
where the road leads,
all I know is,
I'm there.
That was a total first shot at writing poetry: please tell me if I'm any good!
2007-03-26 08:16:00 · 21 answers · asked by serenityfan76 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I like it. mystical and enchanting. E-mail me some more if you want. I like to write poetry also.
2007-03-26 08:21:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad, not bad at all... try to work with the flow of the words a little bit more, make the sentence's equal so that they run more smoothly... anyway, I like it!
... this poem is my personal favorite
Sailing To Byzantium
THAT is no country for old men. The young
In one another's arms, birds in the trees
- Those dying generations - at their song,
The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.
An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.
O sages standing in God's holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.
Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.
William Butler Yeats
2007-03-26 08:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by aa.gabriel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think thats awesome. I love poetry and I wish that I could write it but I cant. Keep it up.. that was a good poem.
2007-03-26 08:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by Stepherz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not too bad. Keep writing you will get so much better. But very good for you first time.
2007-03-26 08:19:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very solid commence. really touching poem. i could only punctuate it slightly now: "As i look into your eyes in this useless night snow, your warm temperature melts my chilly heart and makes my darkish soul commence to glow, you replaced me always, made me a extra valuable guy, i purely choose you may love me, provide us a large gamble. i purely extra some commas and the 'i' in the previous 'purely choose you...'
2016-12-02 20:38:49 · answer #5 · answered by lewan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bravo! Encore!
2007-03-26 08:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by Nunya Bidniss 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's okay. I don't like the rhyming. It shows a very young writing style.
2007-03-26 08:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Tori ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad... Poetry isn't for everyone, but I think you should keep it up.
2007-03-26 08:20:57 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's OK. vist www.poetscorner.com
2007-03-26 08:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't tapping into your pain....you are just scratching the surface.
keep working on it.
2007-03-26 08:19:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋