He has 4 kids, none live with us. I don't have custody of mine. I want another child. Am I wrong for wanting this? He tells me that if I want a child that badly, then I need to find someone younger. I need HELP!!!!
2007-03-26 08:05:43 · 17 answers · asked by dixieangel0530 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
take his advice and find a younger guy
2007-03-26 08:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by j c 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing wrong with wanting another child. Just wanting one with this guy. He's obviously finished having kids, and it wouldn't be fair to a child to have a father who doesn't want him/her. I am also a little concerned as to why you don't have custody of the child you already have. If there is a reason that child was taken from you, has that situation changed? If not, maybe now is not the best time to have another child.
2007-03-26 15:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to consider - how long you've been together... did you have this conversation early in the realtionship and you thought you "could change his mind"? - He is totally OK for not wanting more children, and yo are OK for wanting more BUT, if this doesn't work for you as a couple then it is time to part ways. Don't try to coerce him into doing something he doesn't want to do - he's being honest with you. I'm guessing you knew going into a serious relationship with this man that a)there was a 14yr age difference, and (b) he didn't want more kids. If that's true -you went in with your eyes wide open and either need to change how you feel or walk away. Good Luck!
2007-03-26 15:31:01 · answer #3 · answered by twirlingskirt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need help? To continue a relationship with a guy who is telling you up front that he's not having another kid and not accept it is dumb. You would understand if you were his age. I would suggest you move on and do what he suggested. Find a man who wants a family. This one doesn't and he's frank enough to tell you the truth. Accept it and thank him for telling you before you got involved any further. If you had a baby with him (accidently on purpose) he would resent you and the child. What kind of a life would that be for a baby? Don't be selfish..just move on. Godloveya.
2007-03-26 15:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He told you straight up. He is too old to be playing daddy. he has already brought up 4 kids into the world, and that is more than plenty.
He told you straight up that doesn't want anymore. That is a clear answer that you should be able to accept.
I agree with other answers (an him!), that if you really want another child, find someone else.
Good luck
2007-03-26 15:15:43 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not married, move out and look after your own child. When your child is older, then start dating. Time to stop being selfish and work on being a great mom.
If you are already married (but it doesn't sound like it), he will have to make sure he has a vasectomy so there aren't any "accidents". You should have had that discussion long before you married.
2007-03-26 17:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no emotional connection to your situation...so this is going to seem harsh....let him go. He is clearly telling you that he does not want anymore children....and if you do....he understands and accepts that you will have to fulfill that part of your life without him. You have to admire his honesty. He is not leading you on in any way. That is respectable. SO now it is up to you...how badly do you want another child? Bad enough to move on....or do you want to stay with this man and forfeit having one more??
He is really letting you make this decision for yourself and is not holding you back. If you do let him go...it will be very painful..for both of you.
2007-03-26 15:45:29 · answer #7 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he's willing to blow you off because of this issue, you have a choice to make. Either stick with him and respect his decision to not have any more children, or take his advice and find someone who is willing to have a family with you. Whatever you do, don't get pregnant "by accident"!!!! That will most definitely drive him away then you will be a single mother of two.
2007-03-26 15:15:53 · answer #8 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you cant live without another baby, then you dont need to be with him. you cant make people change and they rarley do on there own. either be happy with what you have or move on a find someone else. i know that sounds harsh but if you are not going to be happy it is for the best becasue in the end you will be miserable and so will everyone around you. there are more men out there to make you happy. i dont believe in there is just one person out there for you . i believe you make it what you can. hope i helped.
2007-03-26 15:12:28 · answer #9 · answered by andy a 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really hope you didn't marry this man. He will NEVER change his mind on that issue, if he does it will be because you FORCED him and who wants that. Time to pack your bags and find someone who does want a child in the future.
2007-03-26 15:20:42 · answer #10 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well by his response he sounds kind of cold. I guess this is the danger with dating much older men. Perhaps since you don't have custody of your child he doesn't see that you're a good mom? Possibly he just feels like he's done with kids (he has 4)... sick of the diapers, etc. it's understandable. He sounds kind of mean, though. Cut him loose if he doesn't come around (but don't nag him about it).
2007-03-26 15:12:26 · answer #11 · answered by Principessa 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋