can anybody help me?

Question

im a middle child and have always been. im now 23 yrs old yet i still feel that i am neglected and not good enough for my family. ive tried suicide several times but it ddnt work. i dont want to make friends with anybody not that i am anti social but i just feel that everything i do is a mess. im not a happy person. i get depress for most of my life. for me, theres no joy in living. i wish there's a world out there that's just me and id be happy. ive been controlled and humiliated. im next to a non-person. i would be happy if i would die today

Answer 1

I am not a middle child, so I can't exactly place myself in your shoes. But I always felt like I lived in my older sister's shadow. She got the good grades, was popular, and seemed all around perfect. I, on the other hand, gave in to peer pressure in school and stayed in trouble. I was smart, but didn't apply myself. I enjoyed music and got involved with that as much as I could. Suicide is not the answer. I tried suicide when I was a teenager. Now that I'm 30, I am thankful I didn't die. I have a good husband and three beautiful kids. I love my life now. I never thought I would marry or that anyone would want me, but I was wrong. Life isn't perfect and I still feel like I am in my sister's shadow. My sister makes a lot of mistakes now but still I am always going to be the bad one, I guess. I have straightened out my life and try to be good to everyone and love everyone. But when it comes down to it, I still feel alone. But I find joy in the fact that I have a big heart, am a good listener, and it makes me feel good that I maybe can help one or two people here and there. There is no simple answer. You may always feel second best, or the outsider. But you can be confident at how you are, what you are like. There is no one like you. Whether you get recognition for who you are or not, be proud that you are here. I am a very backwards person, scared of speaking my mind or standing out in the crowd. But when it comes down to it, I am the one people come to talk to. Just hang on, find you a good mate, and that will help ease the pain of not being perfect for your family. And I do think there is someone for everyone, just hang on. Pretty soon that person will wipe out the other feelings you get from your family.

Answer 2

I hate to tell you this kid, but you’re preventing yourself from being happy. We are not meant to be antisocial. You don't want to make friends probably because they've disappointed you in the past, disappoint you now and you don't want to disappoint anyone in the future or them disappoint you, right? You can only be controlled if you allow yourself to be controlled. You can always move past the humiliation with time. What you give out to the world is what you'll get back; negativity. You must stop giving your power away to others. The world does not control you, you can control your life, but only you can make that happen and that means you have to DO it.

I'd suggest volunteering for an organization which helps those that truly have no choice; such as an AIDS organization. It will distract you and enlighten you in ways I couldn't possibly explain. There is a whole world out there you haven't even begun to see because you’re trapped in that box. Get some professional help and possibly some medication. You might have a physical condition that doesn't have your body's chemicals going right and needs a little boost.

With what you've said, honestly....it doesn't even make sense, although I understand it. Can you state that you’re a next to a non-person as a fact? No. That's just how you feel. Make yourself believe otherwise because what you believe is wrong, so what else might you be wrong about? If you volunteer at an organization where your attendance is extremely important and valuable, it might help you see the light and realize that no one is more important that you and you are no more important than anyone else.

Answer 3

Life is better than you are making it. You have tried several times to commit suicide and have failed, ever think that it might be a second chance for you? Find something you do well, there is something! It may take some searching but if you find it, it will give you joy and the will to live. Go outside and look at all of the beautiful things around you, find amazing things you haven't ever really looked at before. Think about the simple things in life. Consider the spider who works hard everyday just to build her home to have it destroyed and then rebuild it again. Sometimes life's little ups and downs can be a beautiful work of art.
http://www.thedogmuseum.com/images/spider-web.jpg

Answer 4

I know what you're feeling. I have always felt the same way about life and people. What I do to get over the pain is to just go into my room, close the windows, the door, and turn off all the lights. If I just sit in the silence by myself, and not tink about anything, I feel so much better. Hope that helps you.

Answer 5

Sweetheart, make yourself an appointment with a psychologist. You need to see the good things in your life that right now you're finding impossible to see. You are here on Earth for a purpose. I'd like you to get a piece of paper and write down 20 things that you like about yourself. I bet those will outweigh what you feel bad about. When you get help, you work in depth on these good things. Everyone deserves to be happy. And maybe you can give yourself a hug and say 'I love you' each morning and night. Please get help. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Answer 6

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

just read that and know that people out there love you, do not committ suicide just hang on i bet someday u'll meet somebody who will make ur pain go away and see the colors of life.

Answer 7

No no, hey, what is this, you are so sad, me too at one time, I felt terrible, but no more, I take medication, try Welbutrin, but you need to discuss your problem, please, oh please, with a specialist who will get you back on track. You are someone very special, and if you just give life a chance, you will see that there are birds that sing just for you, and when the sun comes out, it smiles only for you, and, my brother many years ago killed himself and I will never stop missing him. I miss him so much I cry if I think of him for doing that. You must work with this problem of sadness you have. I am not lying to you, there are people who love and care for you, but you won't let them get too close to you and that is why you must work with this. Please, don't hurt yourself, and now, I hope you can see there are friends in this world because I happily take this moment and time to cheer you up though it doesn't seem to be easy, I don't care because if you hurt yourself I will take it badly. Please, believe me when I tell you that there are many people who care. I would e-mail you but you have none, so I leave you with this, we all love you even if you don't believe it. Please, don't hurt yourself because really, you are such a wonderful person. How do I know? Because God told me so.

Answer 8

It sounds like you suffer from manic depression. With the thoughts of harming yourself I would advise you to seek medical attention immediately. You may just need an antidepressant or mood stabilizer to get you in the right direction and I think some counseling for your feelings of worth wouldnt hurt either. I hope all goes well.

Answer 9

I'm a middle child too, and that feeling hasn't gone away, but anyone that feels like you do should try anti-depressants. They do more than just "make" you happy - they actually change your way of thinking what you can accomplish and overcome. You can always quit them if they aren't for you but I urge you to try.

Answer 10

I've been there. I'm 22, one of 5 kids. I felt that way for most of my life while I was growing up, and while I still struggle with it, it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. If you want to talk about it, send me an email. This situation and the way you feel is bigger than 'y-answers'. I'd like to help.