would you say that my fellas making my weight an issue?

Question

ok, im 5 1/2 stone overweight after having two births one after another and didnt have time to loose the weight.

now after constant exercise and dieting the weight wont come off.

i aint that worried about my weight but i feel i have to loose it to please my hubby and get him to notice me.

when i sit him down and ask him if my weight is an issue to him he says no and he loves me the way i am. but when we get into an arguement about silly little things, he always brings my weight into it calling me fat and stuff.

he says he dont mean it but he knows that it hurts me to think i have to loose the weigh to please him.

hes put on the same amount of weight himself since weve been together and he has no excuse of any births,lol.

i really dont care about his weigh as i still love hi the way he is. i dodnt marry him because he was thin.

does this sound like im over- reacting or is he really bothered about my weight when dragging it up in a row.

im a lonely mum of two

Answer 1

if your doing regular exercise, and eating healthy thats absolutely amazing!!! how many people actually do that! whatever you weight is it's perfect if you live a healthy lifestyle. but even if it's not, he's a bit of a hypocrite if he's calling you fat, and he's probably just doing it in the spurr of the moment. next time he does it though, do something to make him stop. its abusive and you could be just as rude to him if he wanted you to. he should be punished! lol
jus remember you're an amazing woman who's as GREAT as everyone else, and no one else is any greater than you!
fill your life up to the best, and just be as healthy as you can, just coz that way youre making the most of YOU!

Answer 2

Honestly, weight is always an issue no matter what men say. Of course they want an attractive wife just as much as you like having an attractive husband. He says it doesn't bother him because he doesn't want your feelings hurt and he loves you. How sweet. Well first of all, let me say that I had twins about a year ago. I lost the extra weight as soon as I could exercise. Please do not use babies as an excuse for extra weight. You have to get some pride in yourself ya know? I know that I'm happy and healthy and things go more smoothly when I'm in shape. It affects every aspect of your life. Surprising but true. Think about it. It's not a big deal, just get exercising and go on a diet. Both of you together, do it as a couple. You say he's put on some weight too, do you like looking at him like that?? does it really turn you on?? be honest. Create a diet menu together and a workout plan together. It will bring you guys closer and make you such happier people. You guys need to support each other and make a change for the better.

The solution is so simple, EXERCISE AND EAT RIGHT

Answer 3

I really feel for you, I think your hubby is being really negative. I think you're not losing weight because his insensitive comments are depressing you. If you are exercising and dieting and the weight isn't coming off then you should see your doctor. Are you sure you're not cheating? It's okay if you are because anyone would in your situation. I've also heard that when under a lot of stress we create a certain hormone that stores more fat so maybe you're so distressed about his attitude it's resulting in an imbalance. I think you need to sit him down and let him know what this is doing to you and also consult a doctor for some help and guidance. Good luck and keep your chin up.x.

Answer 4

You are not over-reacting. Your weight may or may not bother him, but that is not really the issue. He should be encouraging you to be comfortable with yourself--whether that means losing weight or being happy the way you are--and not leaving you to guess about his feelings. I would guess he's bringing up your weight just to hurt you. I have been through the same kind of thing. They say what they know will hurt you the most. He needs to learn to communicate better and focus on the issues that cause your arguments. I think marriage counseling is definitely in order and would help a great deal.

Answer 5

It sounds as though your having an inner battle with yourself. The first thing is you have to have your own self confidence, and remember the weight didn't come on over nite. It definatly isn't going to leave over nite.
Keep up the good work with daily excercise, and diet. I've been there done that. Used to weigh 270 lbs, now down to 165. But you have to stay consistant.
And I'm sure your hubby loves you, but he isn't going to answer "YES" if you straight ask him if it's the weight that is the problem. It's probably little problems of lack of self confidence he has a problem with. He'll love you if your "BIG".. as long as your confident, and trying to take care of yourself.
And if he was a good man... he'd want to help you succeed, by grabbing up the kids. And going for walks... doesn't hurt the whole family to excercise..(wink wink-hint hint)
If your gonna sit him down for a discussion. You need to ask that he not call you names, or point out your weaknesses. That isn't going to help...it just hit's the pride a little bit harder each time. Making you feel like a failure!
Keep up the good work. 2 Pounds a week is healthy!!

Answer 6

First of all your husband is being a jerk when he says these things to you. If you want to lose weight, make sure you do it for yourself, that is the only way you are going to make it work. Could be stress causing you to keep the weight on. My husband does the same thing when he gets in a bad mood with me. They use what they know will hurt you. For your own sake, laugh at him next time he says it. Don't let him know it bothers you, kind of like a kid throwing temper tantrums, ignore it long enough they will give up because they are getting no reaction from you. Good luck.

Answer 7

I suggest you bring up the fact that he isn't as thin as he was when you two first married when he mentions the fact that you have gained weight. If your weight is at all altering your ability to move or if your energy has decreased because of your weight you may want to consider loosing a few pounds for health reasons. But you should do it for yourself and your future with your children and forget about doing it for him.

You could also ask him to work out with you so you both are getting exercise.

Answer 8

I think the problem about your weight is given you more sleepless nights than it is your hubby. If YOU don't feel 'sexy', or good about yourself, then do what you need to do to make you feel the way you want to. Sometimes it's not all about loosing weight. You can still look good with weight, you've just got to know how to carry yourself. Wear clothes that compliment your shape, walk with more confidence, eat healthy and take up an active activity. Whether you actually loose weight or not, eating healthy, being active, dressing well etc., will make you feel much better about yourself. Your confidence is your power, once you get that back, you get yourself back.

Answer 9

Your overreacting you have to remember you had 2 kids in a row and for some your metabolism isn't high enough to drop the weight immediately. I did for my first 3 but my 4th was very hard.
Start with exercise take the kids and go to the park. See if they got a gym thing for toddlers. Get someone to watch the kids for a few minutes and just take a brisk walk for 10-20 minutes ad day. Make more soups and salads for dinner. If he complains tell him he doesn't want you heavy and you dont' want him that way either!

Answer 10

Sounds like he loves you. In an argument we always tend to say stuff that hurts the other. You do need to lose the weight, for health reasons. Maybe you could get a buddy to help you.