I have been with my partner for over a year, i desperately want a baby but am not sure if he does to. I have thought about coming off the pill with out telling him. Can anyone please give me advice.
2007-03-26 07:56:17 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Are you crazy! That is the worst thing you can do. Tricking your partner into having a baby is the biggest mistake many women do and it almost always backfires. You cannot force someone to be a parent if they don't want to be, that is why there are many single mothers and fatherless kids out there. It is also better for the child to be born into a family in which both parents wanted them. You really should wait and see where your relationship takes you. If your partner loves you and wants to be with you children will soon follow with the natural progress of things. Whatever happened to wanting to meet the right person, taking time to get to know them, possibly marry and then start a family. Taking time and making sure that it is something that you both want is the best start that you can give a child. You have to think about the needs of this possible child, before thinking of your own. And if you want to have a successful relationship with this man, lying to him will not get you anywhere expect to splitsville.
2007-03-26 08:02:36 · answer #1 · answered by MRod 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Baby's are from god it's a gift. and both parents should agree upon it before they have the Baby. u always want get gifts but when u get one u have to protect it more than anything cos this gift is going to be Ur and Ur husbands whole life. it's actually a big process when we think of it we think it's easy to have a baby the question is will u be able to feed the baby, pay attention, commit Ur time, share Ur love, to educate, protect her, to stay right beside her no matter what happens. to be her/his best friend never to leave her/him........................
so many things. are u ready to do all these things. are u in a strong relationship with Ur partner, are u guys married? if not will it be a problem for the baby on the futUre. i think it's good if u can talk with ur partner. if u guys are married i hope it'll not be a problem. don't do anything without asking from him. cos if in case if he ask u to go Thur an abort, how are u gonna tolerate it, the pain that u are trying to go thru is alot u'll take alot of time to forget it. so dont do that mistake , most of my friends make that mistake and still they suffer thinking how did my first baby looked like. i never so my baby. so i dont want u to make tha same mistake they did. Remember it's a precious gift. u have to protect more than u think.
God bless u, ask guidance from god, i'm sure jesus will help u
2007-03-26 08:13:26 · answer #2 · answered by dul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't! This is something that you both should be ready for. What if he doesn't accept and decides to leave you? Your baby cannot be without a father. Also, while you are pregnant it should be exciting, not stressfull.... You will be worried all the time if he decides he is not ready. I've been through this, it was an accident but from february til september I was constantly trying to figure out a way to fix everything, I was not happy until the father decided he wanted to be a part of the baby's life. If you two really love eachother, it shouldn't be a problem. Just talk it through!
2007-03-26 08:03:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your problem, but what you are planning is just plain wrong.
Talk to him and make sure he knows how you feel, and find out how he feels, he may want a baby as much as you but is afraid to say so for some reason.
If you get pregnant by coming off the pill, he will know you either did it or purpose or he will blame you for being irresponsible with pill-taking.
There is also the chance that he may leave you if you trick him, now I'm sure that's the very last thing that you want.
Please be careful with how you handle this.
Good luck! XXX.
2007-03-26 22:41:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is selfish , you are changing the rest of his life without even consulting him. How is that fair. How is it fair to the child you create, when their father leaves and wants nothing to do with them. What if he tells you to have an abortion or he will leave. The point is why do this to anyone, yourself included. How could all the possible heartache be worth avoiding the conversation with your partner. Be honest with him, if now is not a good time, maybe you can make a plan for a year or two down the line.
2007-03-26 08:03:15 · answer #5 · answered by greeneyedprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk about this with your partner first and come to an agreement. You might be desperate to have a baby but think of all the things you would need to sort our first like buying your own house, income.
Don't just come off the pill and surprise him with a baby as he might not be ready and he needs to committed to it as well.
Also, I think 1 year is not enough time to start a family. A baby is forever and he might not want that sort of committment.
2007-03-26 08:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait a little longer, could you wait until 2 years? You have to know you're both seriously committed and I personally think you should get married before you have a baby, that way he'll feel committed to YOU and the baby... After all, if you break up, he's going to leave and guess who's going to look after it single-handedly? And as fun as it may seem having a baby, it must be pretty tough work. Also, if you come off the pill without him and he's not ready for a baby, think how he would react. Do you think your relationship would flourish after that?
You must make sure you trust him completely.
Good luck,
Lorna
2007-03-26 08:00:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No - that would be entrapment, and he could very well resent you and the baby. Is that how you want your baby's father to feel about your child? And if he resents the situation enough, you may become a single parent. Do you have the resources, (time, money, and energy) to do that? Speaking from experience, it's a tough job with 2 parents. It's about 6 times as hard when you try it on your own.
Talk to him. Discuss this honestly, openly, and above all, rationally. And then if he changes his mind, fine. If he doesn't, you have to choose between parenthood and staying with this guy.
2007-03-26 08:04:26 · answer #8 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak with him about having a child. The worst mistake you could make is having a child with someone who does not want one. They may want to leave you because you got pregnant, and they don't want children. And I am sure you wouldn't want this. If you want children so bad, you need to be with someone who wants children also. Speak with your partner about having a child, and if he doesn't want children, tell him that you really do want to have a baby, and if he can't be happy with that, then maybe you shouldn't be with him because the two of you won't be on the same page in the book of life. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-03-26 08:05:27 · answer #9 · answered by Aisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you raise the child on your own knowing that its father may hate you both? Think long and hard. My 1st marriage was great until i got pregnant. Babies dont always help. My ex is the one who wanted a child. I DID NOT. When i got pregnant he was so excited, i cried. But i stepped up and became super mom and his sorry @ss left for a 17 year old that he got knocked up and dumped. How old are you? unless your running out of time you should wait.
2007-03-26 08:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by iwill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋