We already have one daughter, but when we were dating and talking about marriage he said that he didn't want and kids. Now that our daughter is here (she is now 6 months old) he is so happy that we have her. He really wasn't to happy when I first told him that I was pregnant. However, I want another child, just one and he says that I always get my way in our relationship, so we will. I don't want to hurt our marriage, but how is wanting another child selfish. What should I do?
2007-03-26 07:39:41 · 8 answers · asked by adreya06 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
i don't think wanting another kid is selfish at all. If anything its your husband that has the problem. maybe you should wait a few years like when your little girl is two or three. and then see where you are at with her and honestly see if he changes his mind. he seems like hes the one that is being selfish about it. Dont let it get to you sweetie. im sure things will all work out. my aunt wanted kids and my uncle didnt she got pregnant after 5 years of marriage with there first i dont know if he was two happy about it at first but she wanted another one because she didn't want my little cousin to be an only child and he didn't want one 3 years later Gracie was born and hes happy. I think that it was just because he was scared for other reason like money and how to raise them both and the hassle of two but. it all worked out in the end. just keep your head up and give him a while. good luck
2007-03-26 07:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until your daughter is a little older and discuss it with him again if you still want another child. 6 month old babies are so cute and easy to take care of. I have two children that are only 18 months apart, and it is hard. I love both of my children, but I also know how much harder 2 children are. It can put a strain on a marriage if you talk him into having another baby. Especially when that child isn't on their best behavior.
2007-03-26 08:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a decision you should take together and if he doesn't want anymore - or any but got one anyway - then you should consider his feelings, it is a life together and a committment.
My hubby also only wants 2 - we are on our second now (8 month baby and 24 wks pregnant) and he said many times already 2 is it, we have a girl and we're expecting a boy. I would love a 3rd but I know h doesn't want to and I will respect that.
If you can "convince" him for a second that's one thing, but don't get pregnant despite his wishes. I think that's tricky and deceitful. I must also add I know men who didn't want kids and got them and they turned out to be pathetic, uninvolved, passive fathers who would have been better off without and who threw it at the woman all their lives saying they never wanted a kid to begin with!
2007-03-26 07:47:47 · answer #3 · answered by Amy B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should listen to what your husband is saying and not get pregnant if he doesn't agree to it. Just because he loves your daughter doesn't mean he wanted to have kids. He will probably never regret that she is in his life, but he may resent you for going against what he wanted for his life. It would be selfish for you to have another child if it isn't wanted by you both. You have just begun parenting and I'm sorry, but you still have no idea how expensive and time consuming a child can be. Love the child you have and see how that goes.
2007-03-26 07:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by kattsmeow 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a decision that you two will have to make together. If he is insistent on the decision that he doesn't want to have kids, then I would advise not going behind his back and trying to make him get you pregnant. I agree with the other person, just because your daughter is here does not mean he didn't want her. Now that she is here he probably feels like he has do take care of his responsibility.
Sounds like you two need to sit down and have a long talk.
2007-03-26 07:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by stasia_08 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To avoid additional stress and headache, and maybe heartache, just take heed to what he is saying. Maybe he feels like it just isn't good timing right now for specific reasons that he isn't disclosing at this moment. Just wait a little while longer, and maybe he'll change his mind as time progresses. Your baby being six months old could be one of the major factors in his decision as well. He may just feel like it is just too soon to even take the idea into consideration.
2007-03-26 08:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tragedy we have today. No one wants children. I just dont understand. People are indocterinated that kids are some how bad. They are wonderful! I would talk to your husband and just let him know that you want him to have another child because he wants to, and not because he feels he has too. Explain to him how much it means to you, and I am sure he will say ok!
2007-03-26 07:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by Bl3ss3dw1thL1f3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy your daughter and husband and use birth control!
If your husband is that adamant about not having children it could quite possibly destroy your family if you press the issue. Wanting aanother child isn't necessrily selfish, but ignoring your husband's wishes-which he obviously made clear before you were even married-IS selfish and inconsiderate.
2007-03-26 07:56:05 · answer #8 · answered by Twin+1 Mommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋