My boyfriend has NO job, should i pay for his stuff?

Question

Movie tickets...

Dinners...

Rent????

i dont know what to do...

??

Answer 1

Well my first question is, how long have you been guys been together? Second question, is it serious? Third, did he quit, or get fired? Fourth, is he looking for a job?

Its important to know all these things, simply because if you guys have been together awhile, he got laid off, and is searching for a job with no luck, then i can understand helping him out until hes back on his feet. However, if he quit, leaving you as the bread winner without discussing it with you first is not right, its a huge responsibility and you shouldn't be doing it by yourself. Secondly, if he likes being at home and not having to wake up early every morning to go to work and actually be a grown-up---then its time to leave. He could be taking advantage you and thats fair. You have the right to talk to him and find out what his plans are, if hes looking for a job and what progress hes made. You're in a relationship, and any decision he makes affects the both of you, and should be deiscussed before action is taken.

You probably know everything thats going on, as far as how the job search is going, if he wants one, and all that good stuff. Talk to him about it, without being accusing, and tell him, while you are able to handle all the bills yourself, its difficult and beginning to stress you out, tell him you need help, and if hes not willing to help, then leave him. Anybody willing to put you in that position and not care what its doing to you, doesn't deserve you, and you should get out before he takes full advantage of you. Good Luck!

Answer 2

If you don't make him start paying for stuff now, he never will. It's okay to occasionally pay to go to the movies and stuff like that, but RENT??? Do you live with him? If he can't afford to live on his own, then he should move back in with his parents, or get a job. He's starting to rely on you for everything, and if things get serious between the two of you (and you get married) he won't be in any hurry to get a job because he knows he'll be able to rely on you. Don't do that to yourself.

Answer 3

You should not pay for his stuff. You should find a new boyfriend who has a job and can pay for his own stuff. Tell you boyfriend to find a job and if he does not than tell him that the two of you are history.

Answer 4

First of all you should know the answer to that question. However, I will tell you. No way you should pay. A man should make his own money regardless of who is there to help him out. It would be a very nice gesture for you to pay for things every once and a while, but not consistently. He should pay for you. A woman should be taken car of by the man, and if he isn't working, that shows he just doesn't care. I know you love him and want him to do things with you, but it should not be at youe expense. Tell him it just isn't going to be that way. If he wants to do things with you, he'll find a way to get the money, and if not then he isn't worth your even your time much less your money. He needs to get wit the program or get lost, you could do better.

Answer 5

Ask yourself this question...If I had no job and no money, would I go to people I know and expect them to pay for everything for me? You already KNOW your answer. So what you are doing is PAYING just to keep this guy! What you want is a guy who WON'T let you pay, even if he CAN'T! THEN you know that he is thinking of you, not his own self! This guy knows that you are willing to do it, so he keeps taking. If you want to find out his TRUE feelings, refuse to pay for anything else, unless he gets a job and helps out! He will drop you like a hot rock and move on to his next meal ticket and you can say Goodbye to him and hello to that new savings account where you will be putting all that money!

Answer 6

Only from being in this situation I would say that it is okay to pay for necessities but you don't want to start anything you don't plan to keep up. Also it depends on how he as treated you in the past, meaning if he has done for you then it is okay to return the favor but only to the extent to which he has for you, don't go over and beyond. Also you may want to offer some assistance but not total, example say you will help with half of his rent and some how some way he will have to come up with the rest. Also don't forget he is your boyfriend but not your sole responsibility so he needs to seek out other resources. Another thing I have learned is that in terms of relationships, don't give anything that you may want back because all that is given is usually just counted for the betterment of the relationship and can be a personal loss. So if you think you may need it back at any point in time it may be better just not to offer/give it! I guess all in all you just have to follow your heart for what you feel you should give.

Answer 7

As long as you realize this doesn't mean he will be greatful to you or owe you anything, including his love or loyalty, than go ahead. I wouldn't. I would offer to help him in his job search, and if he didn't have any job or prospects, I'd leave him after a little while. I would not advise paying his rent. It's one thing to give him a few bucks to get by until he can get a job, but paying another adult's rent is going too far.

Answer 8

Do you live together? Is he looking for a job?
If it is temporary then I suppose its ok as long
as he pays once he gets a job. But if you aren't
living together you should not be paying for his
rent!! How long has he been jobless?
If it has been more then a month you might
remind him that you have bills to pay too
and you can't be lending money for everything.

Answer 9

It depends on the situation . Have you been together for a long time or he a new bf . My bf was out of work due to a broken leg for 3 months , I paid for everything . but we had been together for 7 years . If it is a situation like that then yes pay the bills . If not and he is just a dead beat not working leave him . But as you know in the end it all comes down to how much you are willing to give . Good luck

Answer 10

Figure out ahead of time what you are willing to pay for ...like one movie a week and one meal. That way youll have an easier time budgeting for him till he gets a job. If after a certain time he doesnt have a job maybe consider slacking on paying for his things...limit it to only the movie ticket and forgo the food...maybe he'll get the hint.

or

If he says oh I cant go out tonite I have no money tell him O.K. im going with so and so Ill see you tommorow. Eventually after many nights of not hanging with you hopefully he'll get a job.

dont pay his bills EVER this will only encourage him to not work....why should he if hes got you to take care of him?