I am a lesbian, and like most lesbians I have broken off a relationship with the idea in mind that we will remain friends. Even if the relationship ended on bad terms, most of the time lesbians want to fix it and remain friends. What is so wrong with just ending it and not wanting to see, or hear from that person again? What is this need to remain friends?
2007-03-26 07:23:02 · 11 answers · asked by The One and Only 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
oh and the lesbian saga continues!! i don't know...this is a question i have been asking myself since i was 15 years old and had my first girlfriend.
i think women are just emotionally more connected to people then men are, and then when it's two women it's heightened that much more! it's hard to leave someone (even if something terrible happens) when you have grown so attached to them (emotionally, physically, mentally).
In addition to that, I think that the woman who breaks up with her partner usually feels terrible (it's that woman thing again) and she thinks "being friends" will somehow make up for the hurt...it doesn't!
i think it's great if people can eventually hop back into a friendship. i have done it with a few exes (but it took a fairly long time and it just happened..it was not dying to be friends)!
and then there are others that (eh hmmm...) you never want to see again, AND IT'S OK LADIES!!! not to worry, we don't have to be friends with everyone we sleep with!!
2007-03-26 09:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by Taken by a Texan 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with just ending it, especially if things ended badly. I have a few ex's that I never speak to and I'm totally OK with that. I think that a lot of the time people want to remain friends because there was something that they loved or liked about the person to begin with and it is hard to completely walk away from a person that you have had feelings for.
2007-03-26 07:34:38 · answer #2 · answered by Lilly 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, but i suppose it is the same case with men also. The concept of being friends, after you have shared much more than friends do, does not really make sense to me. It may stem from the fact that people sometimes are insecure when it comes to emotional support, and so they wish to keep their options open. At times, it feels like some kind of charity - we can't be together, but let's be friends! At the time when someone breaks up with us, we feel the vacuity of such a statement. Don't worry babes, you go ahead and tell your ex... enough is enough!
2007-03-26 07:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by Gaymes Last Orchestra 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think we really don't want to remain friends with our X's It just something we say so we do not sounds so mean and nasty. After all if they were good enough to bump uglies with then are that not good enough to be friends with , None the less I do not desire to see my X or wish to remain friends with him. There was no bad break up or hard feelings I just wanted to move forward with my life. I saw he and his new lover Christmas shopping said Hello to be polite and went about my business So I think it something people say but really do not mean
2007-03-26 07:33:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I refuse to be friends with an ex. Once a breakup occurs, I don't want to see him, I don't want to hear about him, as far as I am concerned, he is dead to me.
I've gotten rid of a number of friends who would insist that I remain friends with an ex. I don't know why it mattered to them. I had no problem with them being friends with someone with whom I was once involved.....just don't expect me to do it.
2007-03-26 08:46:20 · answer #5 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in that situation right now. The reason why we're still friends is b/c we were friends before. Is it hard...absolutely! We're definitely not as close as we once were but we're working to make it there. With time and space I think it will be just fine.
2007-03-26 08:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by Broken hearted 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
most of the time its cause they where friends before lovers and they hate to see the sexual part ruin the mental friendship part. I have been through this a few times and sometimes it does work but most of the time it doesnt
2007-03-26 07:28:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wanted to be friends with my ex too, but she didn't want that...
I wanted to stay friends with her because she is such a great person and even that we are not together any more - I want to be her friend
2007-03-26 07:45:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I didn't remain friends with my ex...he had too much power to hurt me ---and used it. I just wrote him off.
2007-03-26 07:27:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you obviously still have feelings for her that you don't want to admit to.
2007-03-27 05:17:47 · answer #10 · answered by foose 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋