I am a single mother of a 2 year old and to be honest, 1 child is alot of work and at times i get overwhelmed with her and i say out loud "WOW never having another one, one is enough" and he gets offended. He wants to know that the woman he is with, is a woman he can have a family with, I love him to death, but i dont know if i want any more... Relationship doomed?
2007-03-26 07:19:53 · 15 answers · asked by gsxr650 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a tough one to deal with! But it IS something the two of you have to come to terms with and agree on before your relationship will go any farther. Also, if the two of you get married, is he willing to help with EVERYTHING ( diapers, feedings, dishes, etc.) as well, or will he expect "The little woman" to take care of that "woman stuff"? If he does, then I am afraid that you will never find common ground. If he IS willing to help out, then I can see his point in wanting a child that the two of you created together. That child will be something special to BOTH of you. BUT...and this is a biggie...he ALSO has to realize that he needs to be able to love your current child as much as his own! Kids pick up on that stuff pretty quick, and if he is going to play favorites, it will drive a big wedge between the two of you! Talk it out NOW!!
2007-03-26 07:41:06 · answer #1 · answered by Ken S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that the relationship is doomed. You two should talk it out, tell him that one child is enough for now. Does he take care of the child at all? If he doesn't, then he might not understand how much work, time, and effort goes into caring for a young child. Two young children right now just might put you over the edge. Why isn't he happy with just one child? That's a family right there. Good luck with that. Hope you work everything out.
2007-03-26 14:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by marcus aurelius 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not doomed. I am a single mother and I didn't want anymore children because it's hard being a single parent. Well now 9 months I have been dating this great guy and we have talked about kids and he knows at first I didn't want anymore because of the fact that it's hard, but I know when we plan to have a child he will be with me. Talk to your bf let him know you love him explain to him how you feel. Good Luck and God Bless
2007-03-26 14:28:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he your bf or your lord and master? If he is the latter then you best heed his command and start begetting, if he is your bf then it's time you and he have a honest heart to heart conversation about what it means to be equal partners in a sincere unconditional loving relationship.
Bf has to respect the way you feel about child bearing just as you should respect his views. Along the way compromise should be kept in mind so you could adopt if he became your husband and shoulders an equal responsibility in providing for the welfare and well-being of your child and any future children if you wan to have any... Absent that it is time to open your mouth and say aloud "NEXT!" after you tell current bf Good-bye.
2007-03-26 14:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by ralegas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how it could work unless one of you changes your mind. I have the other perspective in this because my first serious relationship was with a guy who didn't want children and never would. I've always wanted to have a large family so I had to end the relationship because there was no way it could have worked, not with something so big that we couldn't agree on. The point is that this isn't really something that you can come to a compromise on.
2007-03-26 14:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by playbunnysoup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants you to have more kids and you are not comfortable with this, then he is not the right man for you. My husband and I married, with him full knowing that I do not want any children. People think this is weird but I just don't want any - I never have. I'm 29, he's 37 and we enjoy each other and travel. If you are through having kids, embrace that and move on - let this guy find the baby machine he's looking for.
2007-03-26 14:32:35 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs 2 respect your feelings n if he cant do that then he can just let the door hit him in the a** on the way out! Do not let any man tell you that he's gonna leave you if yall dont have kids 2gether, say "well i dont want ne more kids, im over stressed as it is, n if you cant respect then u know where the door is"
2007-03-26 14:30:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy who had been like a dad to his ex girlfriend's son. she also was preggers with his kid. I told him upfront that I wanted a man without kids. I had two already. I didn't want the drama of two blended families. He lied and told me he didn't have kids. When I found out, it was just as I thought. Drama with the ex, drama with us....I loved him so much though. He was hot and nice to my kids and just really hot with muscles and a bod. But I was right. I found a guy without kids, we have been married 8 yrs and have two kids together. Our drama is only ours...not someone elses...so stick to your thoughts. IF one kid is enough right now, don't get married to a man who wants more. Unless he says it's up to you if you want one later. Or if he agrees a few hundred times that IF ya'll have another, it's in 10 yrs or something..two kids are easy if one is old enough to be in school and stay out of the street while the other is in diapers
2007-03-26 14:31:43 · answer #8 · answered by QueenMama D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a possibility you're doomed. It's not fair to him to to never be a father. Why shouldn't he be able to watch a son or daughter of his be born and think, "Wow...I'm a dad!" I understand that raising children is difficult, but its also a joy. Nobody should be denied experiencing that joy if that's what they want.
2007-03-26 14:38:27 · answer #9 · answered by geminiqtpie22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a deal-breaker, in my eyes. He doesn't have kids and if he wants them, he should be with someone who does too. If you are truly set that you no longer want kids then you should re-think your relationship with him.
Much better to get this all out in the open now than down the road...
2007-03-26 14:25:38 · answer #10 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋