Normal # of friends for an upper 20's male?

Question

I'm 29. I sorta feel isolated and like I don't have a lot of close friends. Maybe 2 that I would consider close, tops. I have many people who are acquaintances, but so few close friends to watch baseball with, or grab a beer on a Sat night. If I go back in life, I have had many others that I've been close with and lost track of. Is this normal for guys? I sometimes wonder if females are more naturally social and keep in touch with friends.

Answer 1

Worry about quality not quantity in the friend department. It's true that women tend to be stronger in the personal- relationship-network -maintenance -business (notice how it always seems to be your mother who keeps track of playdates and family reunion type gatherings?)

Currently I am a bit low on the close friend scale myself, but I think it has to do with the stage of life we are at now,the late twenties to mid-thirties group of unmarried and basically unattached,who are trying to consolidate jobs if we can find them and get some kind of financial strength and are also looking out for The One. We tend to work pretty lond and hard and it can make you feel burnt out and isolated. But you could try something I began to do recently.Starting this Friday night,when everyone's free minutes kick in,call everyone you can think of and invite them over for,say,coffee and dessert at your place during the weekend .You can probably rustle up a few pals or at least reasonably pleasant aquaintances ,and take it from there.Tell your nice attached female friends if you are looking for a nice young lady,(because you know what,most happily married ladies love matchmaking!) and ask them to tote her along when coming Now, I'm a girl so I need to be a bit more subtle about co-opting yenta services ,but this works for both guys and girls admirably. At best,you could meet someone nice to take home to the folks.You'll all definitely have a pleasant , unpressured time. It won't cost an arm and a leg. And you don't need to knock yourself out with the planning and prep (other than tidying up your crib and getting enough coffee cups and small side plates to eat desserts from) for a simple after-dinner party. You will also end up looking dead sophisticated if you pull it off.As you get more skilled at entertaining you'll also get to meet a lot more really decent folks,guys and girls alike.

Hey, I've been doing this sort of thing a month and I 'm already meeting some really cool people whom I otherwise would probably never have met and I am already feeling so much less isolated. Just remember to do your after party followup at least as methodically as you'd do with your work followup. Without being robotic about it ,call everyone who came and arrange to meet again with those ones who seemed like the kind of people you wouldn't fear to leave to babysit your future children. You see ,making and keeping friends needs a bit of planning and a bit of discipline so you don't let them slip away.

Don't worry, I'm sure you're not weird or anything,you just want to be a tad proactive about creating a network of friends. I hope I've helped!

Keep it real !!!

Answer 2

I think it's normal for most healthy people. I'm 26 and I really only still talk regularly to one of my high school friends and one from college. The people you see still hanging out guzzling beer with all their high school buddies haven't faced the fact that they have to grow up. My husbands' friends for instance. One is 30, brags about how he used to show up hours late and drunk for family things when his wife was already there. He finalized his 2nd divorce last summer (yes, 2nd, at age 30). One of his friends is the same way. They got divorced from their first wives at about the same time. I wonder why (sarcasm). Be glad you're an adult.

Answer 3

Your situation isn't unusual in the least bit. Throughout our lifetime we only truly have a small number of close friends. Although we may have a large circle of acquitances that when we're younger we may think of as friends, true friends are too few in the world.

So cheer up and be thankful you have two really good buddies to hang out with!

Answer 4

Wow freaky, I think it's something that happens to people when they are in their late 20's as old groups of friends break apart and people get married and move on. I'm 29 and have been feeling the same EXACT way as you are. I chalk it up to what I said, it sucks, I know. I've actually become friends with all of my fiances friends now and don't really talk to that many of my old friends anymore. It's kind of depressing.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Does your lifestyle allow you quality time with more than 2 close friends? You sound normal to me. Of course you only have close friends you get to spend a greater amount of time with, having aquaintances you see occasionally is fine.

Answer 7

hi! in the real world, we might have many acquaintances, and people we hang out with from time to time, but most of the people can count their true friends on one hand....

we are fortunate to have a couple of close friends... your situation isn't unusual....

Answer 8

Wow, you have like no friends. I have a group of sixteen friends and we all are really close. I have forty two friends all together and I have sixteen best friends.

Sux 4 u

Answer 9

2 is good. Women are more sociable.