need some really good advice please?

Question

I am one of the managers in the caring profession, for 18 months I have been belittled, talked down to and made to feel small by my direct manager as a consequence about three other staff members (my juniors) have followed suit. I have felt undermined, indeed these members have refused my very polite requests. I have informed the line manager of this over several occasions (it is now making me ill, I have butterflies feel sick and dread work, although I love my proffesion) she has fobbed me off with promises of future changes and says she would prefer not to rock the boat by moving me as my direct manager will kick off. I am at breaking point and occupational health have offered to help but I do not want to upset my line manager by threats. Should I just threaten to go off sick if I am not moved and threaten to put in complaints for bullying and hassessment. Just to lay it on the line as the softly softly approach does not seem to have worked?

Answer 1

My amateur views :

Speak to the HR manager about it.

Or the senior manager, who will hire a consultant to look into matters of the business and increase coordination ,support etc.

Answer 2

Why on earth have you stood this treatment for 18 months? There is always a supervisor over a supervisor and what you need to do is to establish a paper trail.

If this situation has gotten this bad, it will only get worse. You should go to the next higher up with your complaints and keep
a journal with dates and times of the incidents. Compile your
records and summit them to who or whatever agent will take
you seriously and if you don't get any results, than I would consider legal consul, because noone should have to work under these conditions, and sometimes being nice has it's draw backs!! Good luck!! Also why shouldn't you UPSET someone else for a change after all you've gone through. I know some will say you should develope a thicker skin, but until they've walked in your shoes---------------ect.besides that I am sure this has affected the quality of your work which in turn will have a negative effect on those you're trying to help!

Answer 3

Mental Abuse in the workplace is a lot more common than people think.
Firstly, make an appointment with your GP and ask to speak to a councillor regarding your depression due to these issues.
Secondly, take the offer of help from Occupational Health.
Thirdly, have a quiet word with those concerned (individually) and let them know that their behaviour is unacceptable and that if does not stop, you will be taking the issue further which could result with court action. Having a word with someone at a higher level within the company could also be beneficial.
REMEMBER - YOUR WORTH MORE THAN THIS!

Answer 4

They are breaking the law !
In the health and safety at work act 1974 it says your employer MUST obey certain rules. among others:

(1) The provisions of this Part shall have effect with a Preliminary. view to
securing the health, safety and welfare of persons at work;

This means they are not dealing effectively with your WELFARE but actually harming it. If you leave you could quite possibly claim for constructive dismissal. I would urge you to seek legal advice from a union or lawyer. Never mind rocking the boat! these people are rocking with your life and mental health. Dont take no s**t from anyone! especially these so called managers. A decent manager manages and does not harrass!


http://www.healthandsafety.co.uk/haswa.htm

Answer 5

I would do that.. you can not perform your job fully if you are worrying about drama caused from co workers it is not neccasary or a part of your job description adn I would let them know that you won't stand for it because the more you put up with it the more they are going to keep on acting that way..you have to put your foot down and confront the situation or you might as well find some other place to work because it wont get better if you dont do something.

Answer 6

Yes you could threaten to go off sick if you are not moved...that could work in your favor and/or against you but what do you have to lose at this point...right?

You can threaten to put in complaints and that is something to consider however if your direct manager has more power and it seems he/she does and a great relationship with higher upper management...your threats could end up getting you fired.

I know what its like to be looked down upon, not recognized, noticed and promoted for years of service.
It is not fair and its a sad thing.

When my job and manager stressed me to the point of exertion and disappointment I told the male chauvinist pig exactly what I thought of him and upper management. To his surprise I quit on the spot without giving him notice to let him hang and said I was moving on to greener pastures!

And I did!!!

Leaving that job was the best thing for me!

I found a great job with a great boss and a company who respects and rewards their valued employees.

Your physical and mental health comes first.
Life is meant to be enjoyable not miserable.

No job is worth that!!!

You teach people how to treat you.


Best of luck to you. :)

Answer 7

Your direct manager [having been told by you of the situation] is in serious breech for harassment and bullying and is now liable for charges to be laid. Once she was 'told' by you of your feelings and that you wanted the bad treatment to stop, she was 'obliged by law' to stop IMMEDIATELY, and to stop the 3 juniors also as they too, are now liable. Seek help and advise from a grievance resolution officer [who will do the talking for you if you so choose] and start legal proceedings [through the grievance officer] asap. You are well within your rights under the law and should be well compensated for the distress they have caused you. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 8

Love is the answer. Do not hold your pain. The situation is how it is, do not suffer more by thinking on the problems, do not feel sorry as hard as that is... love yourself. And love those that do these things you speak, they obviously have deep lackings within their being and so do ´wrong´in their effort to be right. Use the pain to remind you to love yourself, letting go of feelings that you do not enjoy; in way, bad is transformed to higher good.
This is a practice to be in peace. In peace you´ll be able to cope with all situations, find all answers correct for you, following your heart.
Today, you face a challenge, you are greater than it.

Answer 9

I myself, am going through something of the same. The circumstances are practically the same and I asked for advice with the issues I am having at my work place on this site. I recieved sound advice from all. I have now reported the line managerand his side-kicks and have an appointment to say my peace. Look up this site which will help also.
wwwbullyonline.org. This gave me all the advice and rules I needed.

Answer 10

Give them one last chance. Point out that you have been as nice as can possibly be. Point out that you have been more than fair. Point out that others are now treating you unprofessionally and without respect. Tell them nicely that you not only want but you expect it to stop. IF it does not you will seek help at a higher level and that this may construed as treating your immediate supervisor as as unfairly as they have treated you and while it is not your intention, you DO expect to be treated fairly. Tell them the lack of respect is making you ill and while it has NOT affected your job performance it has affected your over all out look of the job and some of your co workers.

If they do not help you, follow through by going even higher up. Write down everything you want to say, every point you want to get across documenting your treatment to date and give a copy to your manager as you speak and tell her you have kept a copy for yourself as well. If she considers this (or accuses you of) threatening her tell her that you only want the respect and fair treatment you should have gotten and have already asked for by now. Tell her it is what you as well as any other employee deserves. Tell her that is why you are speaking to her again first. Tell her you expect the changes to begin happening within a week or less.

In the meantime (and just in case), you may want to look for a another position! Good luck! Stand up for yourself, you deserve it!!!

Answer 11

I have been in this position myself and my advice would be to go to the manager of the home /hospital and tell them exactly what has been happening and most importantly all the steps that you have taken to resolve the issue. Don't go off sick as this will weaken your case and continue to your job well as any mistakes will be used against you. I hope this helps. Is your direct managers name Ruth by any chance?