please help, this is what i want?

Question

this is what i want in life. it's a weird dream i know, but it's what i want. i want to live on a small farm in Tennessee. not a big one, maybe 5 -7 acres. a farmhouse and a barn. maybe a few gardens for fresh veggies and a milkcow and chickens, maybe a pig. i would stay at home with the kids ( i want a lot, some of my own, but i want to foster care and adopt . i want at least 12 - 16 kids total). and we'd mind the farm while my husband worked out of the home. my husband would want as many kids as me and would have a good job to support us. this is what i picture myself doing (i'm 15 right now). is this weird. considering where this world is going, what are the odds of this actually happening? do you think ther's a man out there who would want the same thing? what should i major in at college? my parents don't want me to marry a redneck, they say rednecks treat their wives like trash. is their a difference between a redneck and a country boy? please answer any or all questions. thanks!

Answer 1

That's not weird at all. It sounds just fine to me. Certainly there is a man out there who would love to join you in that life. There are many people who like large families and rural life.

Don't worry about "where the world is going". It's going forward into the future as it always has, with all of the good and bad things it has ever had. The world today is really getting better and better, not worse.

In college, think of what you could major in that a) you like, and b) would benefit you in life. The first is most important - you must pursue your passions in life, not just the practical things. Farming and agriculture come to mind, as does teaching or something to give you an edge with such a large family.

As for avoiding rednecks - they are easy to spot. They are the ignorant ones that you won't get along with anyway.

Good luck! Send me a post card.

Answer 2

It's a nice dream and something you should work towards. It's nice to see that at your age, there are still kids out there who actually want things other than a big house and fancy cars.
If you stay focussed, you can have this. Just allow some flexibility.
And I'm glad you're thinking about college. Try Psychology or Family Studies. Or even Education as that would help you home school your kids if that's what you decide to do.
There are lots of men out there and I'm sure you'll find one with the same dreams as you.
Just be patient and realize that big dreams like yours take time. You may only have 9 kids and your husband may not be able to work from him till he's 40, but I'm sure things will work for you.
Also, you're only 15. Your dreams may change a little. Maybe you'll want even more kids, or less.
I think there is a difference between a redneck and a country boy. I'm not sure what the difference is. I think of my husband as a country boy and not a redneck because I think of rednecks as uneducated people who live in trailers and do nothing but drink. My husband is highly educated and we live in a very nice house and he rarely drinks.

Answer 3

lol you sound like me!!! I've never met anyone who wanted the same thing but I'm only 19 so I've got time. I'm sure we aren't the only two people in the world who think that sounds great! I'd want all of my kids to be adopted and fostered though, and a wife rather than a husband, but other than that.
If it helps you figure out what to do about college, I'm planning on working from home so maybe there's something you could do from home that would help you pay for all this. I would suggest you make sure you can afford to pay for this yourself, so you aren't waiting around for some Mr Right you may never meet. Especially since you might end up divorced or something.
As for whether a redneck will treat you like trash, just make sure whoever you marry is a lovely, kind person and don't take any crap from them.

Answer 4

When I was 15, I never wanted to marry. I wanted to move to Maine, have a million cats and be a school teacher, and dress really weird and walk to school with a really long scarf blowing in the wind.

Now I'm a mother of a beautiful little girl, married, and living in a little apartment in the suburbs, pinching pennies and saving up for a house, hoping to make a great life for our girl.

The point is, dreams change. Your dreams are normal for your age and your maturity level, and they may stay that way, they may change. If I hadn't met my husband I'd have probably ended up being an eccentric woman, maybe not in Maine but in the 'burbs.

I do think that you might have a bit of country in your life; however, I would encourage you to get an education. Since I didn't get an education, I am a stay-at-home mom; my husband is also not educated, he went through the Marines and sadly when he was injured to the point of being disqualified from service, he now also struggles to make something of himself. I think you need an education to fall back on, I regret everyday that I didn't get one since I can only imagine how much easier my life would be.

Also, a redneck is stereotypically stupid, rough around the edges and uncultured. A country boy is a polite young man, mostly southern, with a strong work ethic and manners, and old-fashioned in a way in how he thinks (he might insist you stay at home and raise the kids if he's true-blue country).

Answer 5

Well, at 15, I can tell you with almost absolute certainty that you have no idea what you want out of life yet. You are too immature to know what you want out of life, because you have yet to experience any of it.

Please be clear, I'm not saying any of this to be mean. I am speaking from experience. As a 30 year old married man, I have way more life experience than you do, and if I had a teenage daughter, I'd tell her what I'm going to tell you.

As you grow, learn, experience new things, meet new people and are exposed to new ideas, your wants and aspirations will change to accomodate. Your tastes will change over time.

Right now, you have no concept about what it takes to raise even one child, let alone 16. You have no idea what it would be like to live on and run a farm with crops and livestock. You may have a school career day a few years from now, and see someone in a profession that you never would have considered for yourself in a million years before that moment, and your dream in life could change in an instant. Sometimes thing hit you like that, like lightning from a clear blue sky. You could meet someone with 4 kids and see how much work it is, and decide 2 would be enough for you, or none. You could grow up and marry a hollywood actor and decide that you're content to jetset with your celebrity husband and spend summers in the south of France sipping champaigne. Unlikely, but it has to happen to someone. You never know what the future holds.

My point to all of this is, yeah, it's a fine dream for a young 15 year old girl, but just be ready for it to change. There is a wide world out there filled with things that you can't imagine now, and you ain't seen nothin' yet. Once you experience more of it, that dream will change, evolve over time, and may not resemble it's current state at all 10 years down the road. Just don't try to hold onto this dream too tightly, and prevent yourself from doing and experiencing everything you possibly can before you settle on anything. Life expectancy is up into the 80's these days, and you have plenty of time.

Answer 6

I say there is a difference between a redneck and a country boy. In my opinion a redneck is called a redneck because of his lifestyle. That does not make all country boys "rednecks". A country boy who's been raised right will be respectful of his wife and children. (as well as his mama). There are PLENTY of southern country boys who've been raised right! Your dream is your dream. No right or wrong to it. But, is it your vision? To me there's a difference. I used to dream different things when I was younger. But, the vision was always the same. I had a vision of the type of husband I would have and our lifestyle together. This was an automatic vision by the way. Almost like a peek into the future. Of course, everything in my vision has come true. It took 33 years of life to get to him though. Good luck to you. Never let go of your vision!

Answer 7

I can't imagine what kind of "stay at home" job would your husband have that would enable him to support 16 children, and be able to buy a 7-acre property? It takes a lot of money to support 17 people and a job that would pay that well would likely be very demanding and hard to come by in rural Tennesee.

I also think having much more than four or five children is neglectful because there is no way you can give them all the attention, education, discipline, love, time, and supervision they need. That's just WAAY too many children.

Also, since you are only 15 years old, I think you should keep an open mind and keep your options open because you might change your mind as you get older and have more experience in life.

Finally, I hope you will work hard in school and come up with a career and rewarding means of supporting yourself in case this stay-at-home, 16-child-loving wealthy husband doesn' t materialize.

Answer 8

Not all rednecks are white trash. I think people consider me a redneck. I'm 24 years old, I'm a boat salesman and I make about $65,000 a year. I still like to hunt and fish just like a lot of other rednecks. I have a wife and two children and I dont treat any of them like trash. My wife is four years older than I, she is a commercial realtor and does very well for herself. She likes go out on the boat but doesn't really care to fish but it's fun just being together outdoors.
I think you will find someone you will be happy with that has your same dreams. My wife and I are saving for a 40' motorhome to travel the country when we retire. Hope this was helpful!

Answer 9

Why don't you go to an agricultural college and learn about organic farming? You can meet a nice guy who is also interested in farming and start your own farm.

12-16 kids is too many. I doubt such a small farm could support so many people. Focus on a couple kids who you can raise to be responsible individuals. You can also host foreign exchange students who would enjoy the experience and you will come to love them. http://www.yfu.org

You can have a bed & breakfast to increase your income. City people enjoy visiting working farms.

Many rednecks are losers while most country boys are very nice. You might even be able to convert a willing city boy into a country boy. Best bet is to meet while you are both attending an agricultural university.

My dream is very much like yours. Since teaching and farming do not pay very much, I am going to do them while in retirement as a way to keep me busy.

Good luck,

Answer 10

No it's not weird. You have a big heart and you want to share it with people. I think that is great. My I suggest you go to college first before you settle down. Sometimes bad things happen and you wouldn't want to be stuck out there with that many kids and no education. Good Luck I hope you achieve your dream.