i have been with my boyfriend for over 4 months and am very happy with our relationship. i am a virgin and he is older and more experienced than i am. i don''t really mind this except whenever i think of him with any of his exes, being with her in the way that he is with me, i feel very depressed. i know that he's happy with me but recently he said that being fully physical with someone you have feelings for is the best thing in the world. as he hasnt been that far with me it makes me feel second best to any other woman he's been with. does anyone else have this kind of jealousy and any suggestions to get over it? also how do i approach talking to him about this?
and please dont bother answering with abuse, i don't want to hear it thanks
2007-03-26 06:16:23 · 12 answers · asked by tcharck 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
additional info, he's never pressured me into anything
and thanks for all your help
2007-03-28 06:57:21 · update #1
First of all you should be commended for your virginity, ask your boyfriend wouldn't the better feeling be when you have found your soul mate love will come and grow with it, and then if you get married you can hold your head up high in that you saved yourself for the one you intend on spending your life with, but jealosy can and will destroy it. Imagine when you find your soul mate and he finds out you saved yourself for him, he will feel great and will have great respect for you. If he doesn't he is a bad man, this is the best gift you can give to start a healthy relationship. Do not let your boyfriend push you into sex. If he requires that you have sex with him or he will leave you, LET HIM GO! That shows that he is only interested in sex not you. Jealousy can ruin anything it touches, honesty and openness are most important in any relationship. Do not let yourself fall to the GREEN GIANT which is JEALOUSY. If I were you I would just come right out and tell him that you feel jealous towards his ex'es and ask him if you are right in feeling that way. This is where the openness and honesty must prevail or the relationship will not stand the test of time. So leave his past relationships in the past, just tell him that you are insecure about the strength of your relationship. If he is a good man and really loves you, which I don't think you can find out in just 4 months, he will tell you the truth, either he is committed to you or not, sad but true. If not this will make you a stronger person if you learn how to control your emotions instead of them controlling you. Marriage, when you are ready, is a gift from God, if you are not a religous person, I wish you luck, for me a marriage without God in it will be an unhappy if not impossible relationship to maintain. But whatever works for you is the way you should go. I do suggest you invite Christ into your life and He will help you. Maybe your boyfriend would like to share in this with you. I don't mean to preach to you, just offering advice of one failed marriage and one successful one and what made them that way.
2007-03-26 07:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, still do feel like that even though I've been married for 12 years this year! Don't know why but I have to stop myself thinking about it, I can't stand the thought of him being with another woman. I'e only had one partner other than him which wasn't particularly loving and I guess I am jealous that he has had 4 more than me!
Perhaps you need a little more reassurance from him that you are indeed more special than the rest. Why is it you are holding back on the fully sex? What age are you? Should you even be considering it? If he is putting pressure on you he is not worth it and I would move on. Don't do it with someone who doesn't actually respect you. Depending on how he said what he said only you an decide whether to take the next step but I would reacon that once he's done it with you he'll move on, you are at present the rabbit being chased by a wild fox!
2007-03-26 06:27:49 · answer #2 · answered by KANGA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maximum the time whilst exes start up issues like that, this is for various motives. not asserting any or purely about all those practice yet think approximately... one million] She feels you 2 nevertheless have a connection. gfs hate whilst exes nevertheless have some touch with one yet another [myspace, speaking on telephone etc.] in case you appear to be a probability then negativity usually follows. 2] She's loony. you recognize the type, they'd desire to have their bfs passwords and understand their each and every step, and you already been with him, not to point grew to become into with him first. That makes you a objective. 3] lack of self assurance. maximum the time whilst human beings try this, they sense they don't look to be stable adequate. They do issues like mess with you because of the fact they want to appreciate approximately you, they are no extra advantageous at what they accuse you of, or each and every so often purely curious. speaking approximately you isn't mandatory nonetheless. except you quite do the stuff she says,you will desire to not enable it get to you. She's the only stalking you, and might't shop your call out of her mouth. So who's the undesirable one? Get a extra physically powerful bf and be happy. She's not nicely worth it. you may def. call that jealousy...
2016-11-23 16:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by maiale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This feeling, I believe, comes from a deep insecurity. Yes, he may feel that being sexually intimate with a partner is the "best feeling in the world", and it's nice that he remembers his exes fondly - but, remember they are his EXES for a reason. He is with you now, and if he's not pressuring you for physical intimacy, he may have grown and found a new way to enjoy closeness with his partner. You need to address your insecurities with a counselor NOT with him...having that conversation may alienate him and it really has to do with how you're feeling about your relationship than with him... Good luck.
2007-03-26 06:24:35 · answer #4 · answered by twirlingskirt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hya dont worry about it everyone goes through the same thing. I was lucky because my boyfriend had just moved into town when i met him so he had left all of his ex's behind in Leeds but he still told me about them in passing conversation and it made me feel like utter crap. But thats natural when you like somebody that much, you dont want to imagine them with anybody else. The reason he hasnt been that far with you yet is because he respects you, i waited about the same time you have and were still together 5 years later. In my opinion if a man waits before he is fully intimate with you its because he really likes you, if he didnt he wouldnt be with you anyway. Just give him time hes probably waiting until he knows your ready.
2007-03-26 11:41:05 · answer #5 · answered by Gemma D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah i feel like that alot but you need to be honest with your partner sometimes just talking about things like this can help. I had this problem but now it only pops up when they make contact so i have got better with time. I have been with my partner nearly 2 years and we are now engaged really happy too.
If you talk to your partner bout these things then you can both go through what life throws at you together and trust me, you are stronger together.
i always feel second best to my partners ex's as as he was more experienced sexually than i was when we met, actually i was in your position i was a virgin. He slept with his ex loads and even got engaged to her, so that makes me feel second best but time has made us realise that the past isn't important as that makes us who we are. My advice to you is think about the future if you can see yourself with him then stay with him. Me and my partner always think about our plans like kids a house etc.
Even if you dont tell him bout your future plans yet it doesn't stop you thinking about it.
Good luck...........
If you need anyother help then just send me an email.....
2007-03-26 08:25:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not screwed up, you are NORMAL!!
He will understand how you are feeling, but you have to understand there isn't much he can say or do to make you feel better (its not as if he can take it back). You just have to come to terms with it yourself, and you will....it just takes time.
There's not a lot you can do either, you just have to accept he has a past. He's probably just taking it slow to make sure your ok about it, so if you want things to move a bit faster, why don't you tell him that? I'm sure he won't complain
2007-03-30 04:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's natural to be jealous but don't let it spoil what sounds like a good relationship. He's with you because he cares about you and the fact that he's not putting pressure on you to have sex is a sign that he genuinely cares.
2007-03-29 22:48:06 · answer #8 · answered by Snake eyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to feel the same way its horrible but sometimes they dont think when they say things and they dont mean to hurt us but they dont get hurt as easy as us if you no what i mean. just say to him that it upset you what he said bout feeling the best thing in the world he should understand
good luck i no how it feels
2007-03-26 06:25:37 · answer #9 · answered by kerry b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this will be very tough for u....however, he has chosen to be with u (or he wouldn't be there)...if this remains a terrible thought for you...please try counseling...and remember one cannot change their past..it is what it is...accept him for who he is.
2007-03-26 06:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋