I was with my ex for three years. Two of those years were great. the last year has been really rocky with us. He cheated on me, he came clean with me about it, asked me to forgive him. I did. I found out he was still talking to the girl, I kicked him out. we still continued to talk everyday, almost as if we were still together, she moved in with him. He was gone a total of 2 months before he begged to come home. He left her and I let him move home. the first month was absolutely perfect, the 2nd month I found out he was talking to her again. I gave him 30days to move. He did, the day he moved he moved back in with her. He has been my 5 y/o constant father figure for three years and he wants to still see my son. My son adores him and has hopes he will come home I am still very much in love with my x and I am having a extremely hard time trying to move on. I know he isn't happy in the relationship he is in now, but How can I ever get past this.How can i get him out of my head & heart?
2007-03-26 06:15:27 · 15 answers · asked by lilmisscute23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wake upim sorry to say but he is one of those people who only want what they cant have-hes playing with you and this other girl-kick him to the curb
2007-03-26 06:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by baseballlover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you have to finally face facts - although you love him, he does NOT love you. Let me repeat it - *he doesn't love you* You need to face this simple fact.
If he loved you at all, he wouldn't cheat - and keep cheating - and start another relationship. Even if he is ultimately unsatisfied with this other woman, the fact is that his relationship with YOU is also unsatisfying. This is probably his faults, and the result of his issues, so don't beat yourself up thinking "oh, if only I did this better, or was prettier, or didn't nag as much, then he'd love me and stay with me." It's not anything you do, it's that he either can't appreciate what you give, or doesn't need what you have to give.
So you need to be the one to walk away here. Tell yourself that you deserve a man who loves you, not a man who strings you along. Resolve that, hard as it is, you need to cut all contact with him until you get over your feelings for him. Tell your ex your can't keep up the pretence of this "friendship" until you are totally over him, so if he cares for you at all, he should respect the new distance between you. Then move on with your life.
Explain to your son that he can still spend time with his "father figure," but you can't spend time with the guy and don't want to hear too much about him, because it makes you sad. Tell your son that the guy is not coming home, and he will have to get used to be a pseudo "divorced kid." (There are many helpful children's books to help him through this transition.)
2007-03-26 06:31:41 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have recieved some very good answers already.
There is a saying: "God creates them and the Devil puts them together".
Sounds to me like you are willing to have this guy control your life and your emotions. Sorry, but if you want to feel better and be in charge of your actions, you have to forget about this man and go on with your life.
Think about your kid and the examples that are being given to him. You have to think about your child's welfare and your own .
This man is selfish and immature.
You deserve better than this.
You will get him out of your heart and head IF you realize he's not good enough for you. There are no magic words or recipes for heartache, but deciding to do the right thing is a very important step...So take it soon ...
Good luck...
2007-03-26 06:35:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your eyes open for a good guys there are a few out there. I should know I fell for the wrong guy who end up hurting me so I didn't want to try because I was afriad of fetting hurt again but then this guy came along and we been together for almost a year. He showed me that you should never give up hope and true love. Good luck girl keep eyes Mr.perfuct might just come to you and your heart. GOOD LUCK :)
2007-03-26 06:51:35 · answer #4 · answered by ~Sarah~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to face the fact that he cheated for some reason, whatever that reason is, he hasn't fulfilled his need for it, otherwise, he wouldn't just move back with her, then back with you, and then again, back with the other woman. It's obvious to me, that he is playing his cards, he has a straight, but wants a full house. I say, why do you want someone who has a problem with monogomy? Do you find it fun and exciting to bicker and fight, then he returns to his "love", and all is better again? This guy has commitment issues, and I'm thinking financial issues, he can't seem to get his own place, to at least figure out what woman he wants, he clearly is playing. Will you fold, or do you think you have the full house?
2007-03-26 06:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by fisherwoman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to put your child first. You have to move on and make yourself happy so that you can be the best parent you can. Children need stability and a stable parent. The emotional turmoil he is putting you through will hinder that ability that is just inevitable. You both deserve better. His problems are his own. Your question would be better suited to wondering why it is that you can't let him go. It sounds like it is time to close that door and move on.
2007-03-26 06:23:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well tell the *** hole he has one more chance to either get in ship shape and stop his old ways...or he will NEVER see your son again!! Because you are not going to put up with it. Explain to him that your son totally adores him and wants him home, but you are not going to allow that kind of incosistency in your sons life. Or you can just Tell him to back off, and stay out of you and your sons life FOR GOOD, because you are not going to play these stupid had games....
2007-03-26 06:25:40 · answer #7 · answered by tuffchevy86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is hard to say, because he keeps going back to the same girl. he obviously has some sort of feelings for her.
things can work out, i believe anything is possible.
you the saying: "why buy the cow when the milk is free?"
also, you know people do not realize what they have until it is gone. maybe you are just his "comfort zone"
for him to keep going back to that same girl, is like a big "wake up" there is something there.
he is playing both of you. maybe it is because he knows that if one doesnt work out the other one will take care of him.
EX; you throw him out, she is there. he gets tired of her... you are there. you take care of him and so does she.
he is a loser. it is one thing if he was alone and not sleeping with another woman yet alone living with another woman... so i dont know. he cheated on you with her and keeps going back to this same woman so let it go
*BEST OF LUCK**
2007-03-26 06:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jdez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may never completely get him out of your heart but time has a way of making things more bearable. One day you will meet someone else and you will stop thinking about him less and less. There will always be times you think about him but life does go on and its too short to stay miserable. Give it time.
2007-03-26 07:09:59 · answer #9 · answered by scout1567 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you still love him and want him back? Do you want to make it work out? If you do, you can work past all the problems and make it work. He probably still loves you. Try couples councling if you do get back together. It will help you both.
2007-03-26 06:21:57 · answer #10 · answered by mommy to 2 year old triplets 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear your story. if i were you, i would leave him and never take him back. a few times of forgiveness is plenty for him and he doesn't appreciate it . therefore, he doesn't deserve you. be very firm with him about this but easy with him on seeing his/your son. life is just complicated...but as a forgiving person like you, you will strive. i wish you very best for finding someone else who will appreciate you!
2007-03-26 06:38:43 · answer #11 · answered by xyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋